- Other Emotional Issues
- Anger Management
- Releasing anger at parents allowed healing of ulcerative colitis and headaches
- Suppressed anger expelled via the stomach
- EFT for self righteous anger
- Getting over a gang rape--including a follow-up
- EFT alleviates horrendous self-hatred and rage
- Calming down Teddy, an emotionally disturbedboy
- EFT for anger underlying ALS
- An unusual anger release
- Anger in a homeless shelter
- A murderous rage is calmed with EFT
- Intuitional work with anger
- A First Class use of Surrogate EFT for Bill's anger and behavior issues
- EFT Transforms "hopping-mad" anger
- Anger and Hostility are Proven to Damage Lungs; Simple Acupressure Technique Offers a Solution
- Anger case history from a client
- EFT for workplace anger
- Josh: Building rapport with children--anger & behavior problems.
- EFT for anger helps both Ann and her angry husband--note the surrogate approach
- Unbearable hatred toward classmates
- Surrogate EFT for fighting neighbors
- Brandon's Story--anger problem becomes history: (including an update at the end)
- EFT for deep seated anger
- EFT and severe mental illness--a murderous impulse
- An interesting approach to EFT and road rage
- Using EFT for on-the-spot "hopping mad" anger
- Anger management approach for a polarity responder
- The cause of our anger isn't always as it appears
- A client talks about her abusive childhood and her relief via EFT
- Resentments relieved 22 years after a poor birthing experience
- EFT resolves long term resentment
- The EFT Cooling Tower Technique for Letting off Steam
- Press Release: Can a One-Minute Anger Management Technique Reduce Injury Risk and Chronic Illness?
- Releasing anger patterns with EFT
- A client resolves lifelong anger on her own
- Clearing anger and self loathing with EFT via introduction to inner child
- Stubborn anger issue falls to 0 with emphatic "say what you feel" wording.
- Road Rage and hives disappear in one session after getting to the core issue
- New Technique Helps Avoid Heart Damage by Diffusing Anger Within Marital Arguments
- The client who continually felt resentful
- Employee overcomes anger at supervisor
- Jonas uses EFT for deeper meditation - dangerous PSA reading is now only 0.4
- School Counselor on anger and tension,
- Getting behind a successful EFT anger case
- Football Star Uses New Acupressure Technique to Calm his Road Rage -- No Drugs Needed
- Transgender person with abusive mother relieves rage with EFT
- Anger case--the urge to explode
- Even dropping the kids off at school provides tapping opportunities - an anger issue
- Using EFT to self-calm an intense anger tantrum
- Useful thoughts on anger by Stewart Robertson
- What was REALLY causing Anne's depression?
- EFT student eases his wife's suicidal thoughts
- Louella: Depression, pesticides and low blood sugar
- A successful but involved depression case--"I don't want to tell you how well I'm doing"
- EFT resolves 12 years of postnatal depression
- Long term severe depression gone in ten minutes
- Jaqui Crooks used EFT to overcome her Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
- Maggie eliminates her own depression
- Surrogate tapping and its effect on depression.
- Persistent EFT by Email on depression, anger and anxiety
- Cross dressing, sexuality and depression
- A case that didn't work--and some suggestions
- A first class look at using EFT for a complex case - depression, guilt, grief and abandonment
- Was it really a manic/depressive disorder?
- A textbook depression case--a "one minute wonder" complete with belief changes
- Approaching Depression with the Tearless Trauma Technique
- After 15 years of therapy, including shock therapy, EFT helps release depression
- Success with a skeptical, depressed scientist - follow up included
- Depression, low self esteem and childhood traumas
- Persistence and a challenging case - Incest, abuse, depression, anxiety attacks, nightmares and flashbacks
- A mis-diagnosed manic/depressive disorder
- Depression with numerous underlying issues
- Major results for anxiety, depression and social issues from one thorough EFT session and consistent EFT "homework"
- Hair loss and facial blemishes fade after EFT relieves important emotional issues -- Depression too!
- Adrienne, a physician
- Gary discusses depression and some new ideas
- A non-therapist does superb work on depression--including her own.
- Newbie uses EFT on depression, allergic reactions and more
- 30+ years of depression gone in 2 minutes
- EFT saves a life by rapidly resolving suicidal depression
- Depression and confusion about God
- EFT on personal depression--"I was angry at myself"
- Press Release: New Method for Depression Often Works When Nothing Else Will
- Dr. Patricia Carrington on depression--a detailed discussion, including meds
- Depression, height phobia and claustrophobia eliminated in one session
- Depression related to guilt
- When depression comes from a related issue
- Depression Drugs and Migraine Drugs Don't Always Do The Job
- Depression on Death Row
- EFT Newcomer eliminates his own deep depression and anxiety disorder
- An intimate look at Depression
- EFT instead of shock treatments?
- From depressed and suicidal ... to ... "I laugh all the time
- Panic And Anxiety
- Travel Anxiety--using the Tell the Story Technique
- Febrile convulsions and related panic attacks subside--not one attack in the two years since she learned to use EFT
- Successful surrogate tapping for surgery anxiety
- Persistence and Panic Attacks - Quality results on a stubborn issue
- Getting to the core of "Mark's" anxiety
- EFT for overeating and panic attacks
- Performance anxiety at a music camp
- Gayla uses EFT for panic
- New Method for Treating Anxiety Works When Conventional Treatments Fail
- Clearing social anxiety with EFT
- Two surrogate tapping cases: Dental anxiety and severe stomach ache
- Panic Attacks: Getting behind the thought process
- Husband relieves wife of major panic attack
- EFT newcomer rids himself of social anxiety
- Relief for another stress related cough
- Using EFT for panic when nobody is around
- Combining EFT with the Inner Theater approach for panic attacks
- Testing your EFT work: Feeling trapped and panic attacks
- A Quality "How To Do It" Session for Fear and Anxiety
- Diagnosed as a schizophrenic, Gregoire had anxiety, stress and insomnia
- Current "in your face" anxiety and stress case
- EFT makes good progress with panic, agoraphobia and feeling like a failure
- Detective work crucial in relief for panic attacks
- Sports anxiety, heat sensitivity, being away from home, loneliness, fear of insects.
- 20 year old abduction anxiety calmed with EFT
- Collapsing a client's anxiety from the 9/11 disaster--with 4 year follow-up
- Anxiety and the fear of being alone
- EFT student uses tapping to immediately calm down after a major car accident
- Medical school test anxiety--from C's and D's to A's and B's
- Success story with 10 day anxiety attack
- Surgery anxiety and EFT
- EFT helps adult learners overcome school and math anxiety
- EFT on a case of extreme separation anxiety in a dog and the importance of Core Issues for Animals
- Study Shows Simple Drug-Free Acupressure Technique Reduces Dental Anxiety
- Detective work provides help for an anxiety disorder
- Imagination tapping on the finger points reduces stress level to zero
- Using EFT for a client who feels out of control.
- One EFT round with Deborah's daughter relieves performance anxiety
- Eric Robins, MD and Lisa Cox on surgery anxieties
- Severe anxiety client has his life back
- EFT Newbie resolves her own major trip anxiety
- Panic attacks and heart palpitations subside after doing EFT on dreams
- Anxiety, eating and more
- Success in neutralizing unwanted memories without the client disclosing the content
- Newcomer uses EFT to collapse his own panic-attacks and writes letter to "Quackwatch"
- A detailed panic attack case
- Non-therapist relieves stress in the form of a temper tantrum
- EFT for panic attacks
- Who Would Have Thought That Acupressure Could Relieve Social Anxiety Better Than Drugs or Therapy?
- Daddy left me. Will my new boyfriend leave me too?
- Courtroom anxiety AND anxiety about calling employers
- One EFT phone session resolves driving test anxiety -- and the benefits expand
- Panic attacks and fear of darkness
- Addressing Generalized Anxiety Disorder by aiming EFT at specific events
- Test anxiety
- Using EFT for Social Anxiety Disorder
- Surgeon Uses New Acupressure Technique to Lower Surgery Risk
- Overcoming Test Anxiety with New Drug-Free Technique: 80% Success Rate
- Daily tapping for Panic Attacks
- Anxiety related to atrial fibrillation is calmed with EFT
- Performance anxiety and many aspects
- EFT brings relief for trauma, anxiety, and an overactive bladder, all in less than an hour
- OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
- Uncontrollable grief resolved with EFT
- Attorney helps client by using EFT for long term unresolved grief
- A grief case with many aspects
- When certain music triggers grief and sadness
- Freedom from grief in only 15 minutes
- Relieving grief over the death of Higgins the dog
- Using EFT for Bereavement
- EFT turns grief into beauty
- EFT eliminates unnecessary grief emotions and softens the grieving process - includes 2 month follow up
- EFT brings healing to a whole family while one woman heals her grief
- Community relief from grief with EFT
- This new Widow was helped in many ways by EFT
- EFT for grief and pet loss
- Tapping through grief leads to incredible insight and relief
- EFT for pain and grief for a birth mother who wasn't allowed to see her child -- a touching story with a happy ending
- Getting to important emotions by doing EFT while looking in the mirror
- Imaginary tapping sends grief away
- EFT setup statements for grief
- An easy grief case with an aspect that showed up later
- Grief changes to smiles
- EFT may be a great relief to grief-stricken nurses who lose patients
- Fresh grief and a double benefit.
- Insights into picking up another person
- EFT heals a broken heart in rapid time
- Using EFT to improve a relationship
- EFT, One Minute Wonders and Opening to Love
- EFT by telephone smoothes out a tense family reunion
- Using EFT for relationship issues--a detailed case
- Tapping on relationship issues
- Interesting way to use EFT & Tappy Bear for a broken heart
- Relationships, EFT and Spirituality
- Improve relationships by Tapping in the Positive
- Addressing relationship and family issues by tapping on photographs
- Tapping into a state of Love
- EFT resolves a 10 year heartbreak
- "I didn't like kissing my wife after she drank coffee."
- Jack improves his relationship with his grandson using surrogate EFT
- Using EFT to prepare for a difficult encounter
- How clearing an intense cough led to improved family relationships--an EFT two-for-one EFT benefit
- MD introduces an innovative idea that brings relief for stubborn relationship issue
- Finding the love you want by healing the inner child
- Relationship Issue: "My husband was being a jerk"
- What holds you back from your lover?
- EFT is instrumental in bringing a couple back together
- Relationships - on "Being Right"
- Instant relationship fix?
- Relationship issue: A humorous approach
- EFT for Couples
- Combining role playing with EFT for relationships and other issues
- Using EFT for a Broken Heart
- The Healing Power of Forgiveness
- Love, Intuition, Patience and EFT help a schizophrenic 15 year old.
- Surrogate EFT heals a broken heart for a 16 year old boy
- Retired Stanford professor fixes his wife's computer with EFT
- Relationship success after finding core issue
- EFT to heal family relationships
- Using EFT on "blocking thoughts" to good relationships
- EFT and meditation for a broken heart
- EFT for love pain
- Shared tapping provides benefits for relationship issues
- EFT Instead of the psych ward after a relationship breaks up
- Taking relationships work to a new level--The Odd Couple
- Reframes (seeing things differently) for guilt, shame and sorrow
- Restless leg syndrome linked to guilt - 20 years of restlessness gone in 2 sessions
- How to reduce guilt via an EFT "Tapping Circle" -- keeping privacy for everyone
- The Rolling EFT process
- The "Tapping the System" Technique
- How Guilt and Shame Block the Law of Attraction
- Using EFT for unnecessary guilt - Did EFT get someone's husband to cook dinner?
- EFT and infertility
- Stubborn guilt finally subsides after doing a search on our website and DVDs for ideas
- A bout of cystitis turns out to be a bout of guilt
- Writing a letter
- New Acupressure Discovery Reduces Stress 4 Ways: 80% Success Rate
- Many Stressed Women Abandon Healthy Lifestyle Habits: Simple Acupressure Technique Offers a Solution
- To Physicians: New Discoveries in Acupressure Promise Everything From Alertness to Pain and Stress Management
- A new do-it-yourself approach to acupressure alleviates stress and, in turn neutralizes cold, flu an
- Psychotherapy Dramatically Improved By New 'Acupuncture Without Needles' Technique
- Eating Disorders
- Two Year Bulimia Problem Gets Major Assist in One Hour
- A Bulimia "one session wonder"
- Bulimia in Brazil
- "Acceptance Tapping" - A powerful EFT treatment variation for severe compulsive disorders and bulimia.
- Joe resolves his Anorexia...and more
- Love, diligence and an eating disorder
- Michal describes what it is like to be free from an eating disorder
- Anger Management
Using EFT for a Broken Heart
Note: This is one of 3,000 articles written prior to the updated Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tapping Tutorial™. It provides practical uses for EFT Tapping and most EFT'ers should find it very helpful. However, if your benefits are temporary or a more in-depth approach is needed, you are urged to explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT, by reading our free e-book, The Unseen Therapist, and/or (3) get help from a Certified EFT Practitioner.
Please study this first class article by Lindsay Kenny. She skillfully details a very difficult and intense grief issue for "Dr. Dave" and takes us through some useful EFT language patterns along the way. She also displays quality approaches for (1) finding a core issue and (2) testing her results.
I wanted to tell you and your readers about a very rewarding session I had last week with a dear friend of mine. He is a brilliant psychologist, a best selling author, and wonderful lecturer. "Dr. Dave" has the appearance of being a really together man. He's successful, well known and respected, has a beautiful wife, two bright daughters, and is himself a creative, caring, and sensitive, man.
Deep inside, however, "Dr. Dave" has been heartbroken for many years over the death of his brother, "Dean", who was buried alive in an avalanche 10 years ago. Even though I've been close friends with Dr. Dave for almost 20 years I've never known exactly what had happened because Dr. Dave couldn't even say his brother's name without tremendous emotional pain. He would break out sobbing at the mere mention of the incident or his brother's name, or the words avalanche, Tetons, or cross country skiing. Furthermore he didn't like being around snow, and couldn't talk about his brother, even in the abstract, without crying.
Although it was clearly a painful memory for him, his pain seemed a bit extreme after all this time. So I've been dying to do EFT with him for years. For starters, I knew it would eliminate his pain so he could talk about and remember his brother without crying, and also because I knew he would be a big supporter of EFT once he experienced it. Plus, I knew how skeptical he was of EFT and I love it when those types come around to believe in it. This week our families were vacationing at Lake Tahoe so I had the opportunity to see him several times and have a couple of sessions with him.
Because this was such a painful subject for Dr. Dave, I wanted to use the Tearless Trauma Technique that Gary so skillfully developed and utilizes. However, I found out quickly that there would be no "sneaking up" on this issue. Dr. Dave started crying before we even started the session. No matter how I approached the subject, even as vague as saying "this incident" he broke into a pain-racking, body shaking, ugly bawl. So I just started tapping on him, including the setup statement, which he was unable to say himself.
"Even though this incident is so painful for me I deeply love and accept myself."
"Even though I can't even think about it without being sad...."
"Even though I'm still broken hearted...."
I used the reminder statement of just "this incident".
My heart was breaking for him and I wanted the tapping to work fast to ease his pain. After one round the sobbing did stop. However, as soon as we would start another set-up statement, no matter how innocuous, he would start crying again. I started thinking that even if we had said, "Even though I like peanut butter..." he would have still cried. So we tapped, and tapped, and he cried and cried. With each round he was getting relief and seemed to be getting better. But he still couldn't say his brother's name or any of the trigger words. Nor could he imagine a painless 2-minute "movie" about the accident without getting extremely upset.
Then out of the blue he mentioned that what was even more painful (I didn't think that could be possible) was that his mother had committed suicide when Dr. Dave was 22. Without going into details of that incident, I'll just say that because of that traumatic death, he had vowed that someday he'd be more of a sensitive, aware, father and loving husband than his father had been. I think he then took on the role of protector of the family and became ultra sensitive. Anyway, we left the issue of his brother for a moment and seemed to move through his mother's suicide rather quickly.
"Hmmm". I thought, "What's going on here?" He said his mother's death was more painful, yet he overcame that in just a couple of rounds. Yet he was still struggling with his brother's death. So as I often do when things seem to stall, I asked him if he really actually wanted to get over the pain of his brother's death and he replied weakly "Of course". I muscle tested him on that statement and found it to not be true. Bingo. He had a reversal on wanting to get over this trauma. Subconsciously he was holding onto the pain as sort of a penance because he felt responsible in some way for his brother's accident. I explained that this had become a "secondary benefit" to him, which as a psychologist he got right away. However, he didn't really think that was true for him. Nonetheless, I had him tap the karate chop point while saying "Even though I don't want to let go of this sadness over Dean, I love and accept myself anyway" (A slight variation of the normal reversal statement, but one that always works for me.) After saying that 3 times, for about 10 seconds, we started the regular sequence again.
This time we used a set-up statement of
"Even though I'm still holding on to this grief and sadness over Dean's death, I deeply and completely accept myself." (He started crying again)
For the reminder statements I used some different phrases at each point such as "Hanging onto this grief", "Not wanting to let go of this sadness", "Attaching mother's death to Dean's", "I haven't suffered long enough", "I'm just so sad", "I miss my brother", "it was probably my fault", etc.
This time he calmed down very quickly and rated his distress at about a 3. So we moved to a choice statement, developed by Dr. Pat Carrington.
"Even though I've been hanging onto this sadness about Dean's death, I realize it wasn't my fault, and I choose to let this grief go and remember my brother painlessly."
There was a lot of free-flow, so I may not be remembering the exact phrases or all of them. I just went with my intuition and watched his wife for visual clues that I was on the right track.
We did the set-up 3 times with slightly different variations of that theme.
Then for the first round of tapping we used different reminders at each different point such as....
"still hanging on to this grief", or
"this remaining sadness (or guilt, or sorrow, or pain, etc.)", and even
"he died doing something he loved".
The second round we alternated the negative with the positive such as
"this remaining sadness" on one point then
"choosing to overcome this sorrow" at the next point, then
"letting this grief go", and next point,
"choosing to remember Dean with happiness", etc.
We finished with the third round with all positive phrases like "choosing to let this incident go." "Choosing to be guilt-free", "choosing to think of Dean only positively", "feeling good about remembering Dean", "completely overcoming this incident". etc.
At the end of those rounds there were no more tears, and Dr. Dave assured me he was feeling great. So I asked him to tell me what happened to his brother. He said very clearly "My brother, Dean, was killed in an avalanche 10 years ago." And as he said it with no emotion at all, he was amazed. However, I still felt there was still a little there. But he was exhausted to do another round so we quit for that day.
A few days later we went on a hike together and I did one final round with him just using the reminder statement of "All this remaining sadness, sorrow or grief over my brother's death." At the end of that round Dr. Dave was able to tell me the whole gory story of how his brother was buried alive under 40 feet of snow and wasn't found for 2 days. How Dean was out blazing a trail so Dean could take Dr. Dave cross-country skiing, and how he (Dr. Dave) always felt responsible for his brother's death, etc. He was able to tell the story without any pain, sorrow, sadness or guilt. We were both thrilled. But I wanted to test him to make sure it was ALL gone, so I said rather heartlessly "It must have been a horrible way to die, just laying there in the snow and suffocating". I knew this was a big risk and sounded just awful for even me to hear. But Dr. Dave just said "Yeah, I'm sure it was awful, but I don't have any feelings about it whatsoever." "Lindsay", he said "this is amazing!! I've never, ever, been able to say any of that about Dean before. Now I can enjoy his memories again. And now I'm a believer in EFT!" Later, he actually cracked a joke about his brother and commented how he could have never done that before.
And I was a happy girl. Dr. Dave is such a great man, and I loved being able to facilitate some joy for him with EFT.
FOR MORE EFT HELP ...
Explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT, by reading our free e-book, The Unseen Therapist.