by Sonia Novinsky

Depression,

Client : Cibele ( no true name).

She is second generation of jewish immigrants that came from Poland before the war. Father always absent. Mother always criticizing and invading her space and very disconnected of her needs for being held.

She married when she was 33 to a jewish russian immigrant, very traumatized with 2nd war effects on his family. He is almost 10 years older than her, and his father was a jewish soldier in the Russian army.

She suffers from depression since 1978 (her age 20).

Now 42 years old. She did years of therapy and took a lot of drugs for depression. She started therapy with me in 1996, before I learned EFT. Her self esteem was very low. Her husband was behaviouring with her just like her mother: no holding, no continent, and a lot of criticism.

In the end of 1999 she entered in a new crisis of depression and I treated her mainly with EFT.

Situation that triggered the crisis: Greg ( the husband, not true name) stopped earning money (he works in a store with his father) and Cibele has to bring all money the family needed and take care of two little children and all the household. He simply doesn't help and demands a lot. Besides this he is very anxious, violent. He screams in the presence of their two girls and he hits her, throws objects on her (like glasses,) installs equipments to listen to her phone calls, says that he will kill her mother (he hates her family). He is completely insane in some way. Children start showing emotional disturbances also. He always disqualifies her in the presence of the children.

She became very distressed and entered into a deep depression.

She is a good professional in graphic design but she couldn't work anymore, feeling guilty and afraid of not having money to feed their children, etc

In each morning she was desperate, couldn't get out of bed. She only cried and blamed herself. She wanted to die, to escape, didn't see the way out. It seemed to her like the depression would not end.

She tried Prozac. It didn't work and so she started Tovlon; I suggested couple therapy when she first came to me but he didn't accept.

Treatment with EFT:

I asked her to do Collar Bone breathing in the bed every morning.

And some EFT for low self esteem, guilty of being depressed and not being able to do things she need, like earning money, being a good mother, etc. After some tapping she could go out of the bed. (we talked a lot on the phone).

She did more EFT ... during the day:

EFT for terror and despair of taking her family into a bankrupt

EFT for fear of failure in this role she has now in her family (being the only one to earn money).

EFT for the rage she has of her husband that doesn't help and doesn't recognize her efforts.

EFT for her beliefs of her own limitations in expanding her business.

EFT for the belief that if she become a strong woman everybody in her family will try to test and to check her and she will not stand.

EFT for the belief that her family (mother, brother and husband) will destroy her anyway, so is better to be the victim always. This is her role in this family.

EFT for the belief that she can't be a good mother and housewife, that she is always doing wrong performances in this area.

EFT for the belief she has a chronic depression that makes her incapable for life, work and motherhood.

EFT for the belief that she has no right to stop and take care of her, doing nothing, walking, swiming, going to a bookstore and so on.

EFT for the belief she can't put a limit on her husband's intrusive and abusive attitudes, because if she does so she will lose him, and she needs her own family, because even as horrible as her life is with Greg, it is better than her life with her parents.

EFT for the belief that the victim place is a safe place for her.

EFT for the belief that she has to work all alone in her office (she is a designer autonomous).

EFT for self hate for being depressed, incapable, anxious etc

Results till the moment:

She is much better. She found a partner with whom she is sharing the work in her office. She is earning money again, paying the bills. Feeling more strong and potent. She gained weight (she was very very thin and physically weak). She is still taking the drug but I think EFT made the difference. Because even with the drug one day she felt the despair in the morning and she did EFT and it went away. She started to talk in a more adult manner with her husband just now, asking what are his plans for this family and for himself. She said to me that she does EFT all day long in each moment something negative comes to her mind.

In some way EFT is part of her life. Depression is over. Drug worked maybe but not alone, because the decisions she made in her family and in her professional life couldn't be done, I think only, with the drug's help.

Sonia