Anger Management

EFT for self righteous anger

EFt Tapping Outdated ImageNote: This is one of 3,000 articles written prior to the updated Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tapping Tutorial™.  It provides practical uses for EFT Tapping and most EFT'ers should find it very helpful.  However, if your benefits are temporary or a more in-depth approach is needed, you are urged to (1) consult The Gold Standard EFT Tapping Tutorial, (2) Explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT, by reading our free e-book, The Unseen Therapist, and/or (3) get help from a Certified EFT Practitioner.  

Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to peruse our Free Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tutorial™ for a more complete understanding.

Hi Everyone,

Note how Arinda Davis keeps zeroing in on core issues as she applies EFT to her lifetime anger issues. She says, "Then, all of a sudden, I changed my phrasing to:  Stop telling me I'm wrong! … I'm not wrong! …  Stop! Stop! Stop! A picture came into my head of me with my hands held over my ears and my eyes squeezed tightly shut, hunched against some verbal outburst of long ago."

Hugs, Gary


By Arinda Davis

I recently had the most amazing experience with EFT.  I've had anger issues all my life, as well as what I call the "I'm perfect - you're the one who needs to change" syndrome.  They both came up the other day in a close relationship.  I was very angry with this person's unreasonable expectations and tendency to react immediately with anger to many ordinary things.  This was a very everyday issue, and I don't know of a single other person who would have reacted with anger at it.  I felt myself dig in my heels and refuse to consider feeling anything else but frustration and anger.  When I know I'm in the right and being treated unfairly, it's hard (okay, nearly impossible) for me to pull myself out of that ‘why should I have to put up with this brand of self-righteousness.’  It feels so justified.  But I also know that it's keeping me from being the person I truly want to be, so the next day I decided to work on it with EFT.

Even though I'm completely resistant to change…

Reminder Phrases: completely resistant to change … don't want to change … why should I have to change?

As I was tapping, it occurred to me, and not for the first time, that the reason I'm resistant to change is that I always have to be right.  Change implies that there was something wrong with me or my thinking.  I've worked on this before with EFT, but couldn't hone in on the core issue.  Nevertheless, I decided to give it another go.

Even though I always have to be right…

Reminder Phrases: I always feel like I have to be right … I always have to be right … I'm always right.

Then, all of a sudden, I changed my phrasing to:  Stop telling me I'm wrong! … I'm not wrong! …  Stop! Stop! Stop!

A picture came into my head of me with my hands held over my ears and my eyes squeezed tightly shut, hunched against some verbal outburst of long ago. I finished that shortcut round with less emotional but similar phrases.

During the next emphatic round, I felt a shift and the words I'm not wrong, but I know you don't understand that, came into my head.  Then: I'm not wrong, and you're not wrong… I finished tapping with: I'm not wrong and you're not wrong; we're just people.

I felt tired and resigned, but in a relieved sort of way.  I tried to remember what the issue had been and dredged it up, but couldn't keep my mind on it.  I tried to revive related issues, but couldn't get interested.  In the week or so after this tapping session, I didn’t feel that old self-righteous anger even once.  I am finally free of an emotion and belief that have held me captive and hindered growth for 50 years!

Arinda Davis

 

 

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