- Other Emotional Issues
- Anger Management
- Releasing anger at parents allowed healing of ulcerative colitis and headaches
- Suppressed anger expelled via the stomach
- EFT for self righteous anger
- Getting over a gang rape--including a follow-up
- EFT alleviates horrendous self-hatred and rage
- Calming down Teddy, an emotionally disturbedboy
- EFT for anger underlying ALS
- An unusual anger release
- Anger in a homeless shelter
- A murderous rage is calmed with EFT
- Intuitional work with anger
- A First Class use of Surrogate EFT for Bill's anger and behavior issues
- EFT Transforms "hopping-mad" anger
- Anger and Hostility are Proven to Damage Lungs; Simple Acupressure Technique Offers a Solution
- Anger case history from a client
- EFT for workplace anger
- Josh: Building rapport with children--anger & behavior problems.
- EFT for anger helps both Ann and her angry husband--note the surrogate approach
- Unbearable hatred toward classmates
- Surrogate EFT for fighting neighbors
- Brandon's Story--anger problem becomes history: (including an update at the end)
- EFT for deep seated anger
- EFT and severe mental illness--a murderous impulse
- An interesting approach to EFT and road rage
- Using EFT for on-the-spot "hopping mad" anger
- Anger management approach for a polarity responder
- The cause of our anger isn't always as it appears
- A client talks about her abusive childhood and her relief via EFT
- Resentments relieved 22 years after a poor birthing experience
- EFT resolves long term resentment
- The EFT Cooling Tower Technique for Letting off Steam
- Press Release: Can a One-Minute Anger Management Technique Reduce Injury Risk and Chronic Illness?
- Releasing anger patterns with EFT
- A client resolves lifelong anger on her own
- Clearing anger and self loathing with EFT via introduction to inner child
- Stubborn anger issue falls to 0 with emphatic "say what you feel" wording.
- Road Rage and hives disappear in one session after getting to the core issue
- New Technique Helps Avoid Heart Damage by Diffusing Anger Within Marital Arguments
- The client who continually felt resentful
- Employee overcomes anger at supervisor
- Jonas uses EFT for deeper meditation - dangerous PSA reading is now only 0.4
- School Counselor on anger and tension,
- Getting behind a successful EFT anger case
- Football Star Uses New Acupressure Technique to Calm his Road Rage -- No Drugs Needed
- Transgender person with abusive mother relieves rage with EFT
- Anger case--the urge to explode
- Even dropping the kids off at school provides tapping opportunities - an anger issue
- Using EFT to self-calm an intense anger tantrum
- Useful thoughts on anger by Stewart Robertson
- What was REALLY causing Anne's depression?
- EFT student eases his wife's suicidal thoughts
- Louella: Depression, pesticides and low blood sugar
- A successful but involved depression case--"I don't want to tell you how well I'm doing"
- EFT resolves 12 years of postnatal depression
- Long term severe depression gone in ten minutes
- Jaqui Crooks used EFT to overcome her Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
- Maggie eliminates her own depression
- Surrogate tapping and its effect on depression.
- Persistent EFT by Email on depression, anger and anxiety
- Cross dressing, sexuality and depression
- A case that didn't work--and some suggestions
- A first class look at using EFT for a complex case - depression, guilt, grief and abandonment
- Was it really a manic/depressive disorder?
- A textbook depression case--a "one minute wonder" complete with belief changes
- Approaching Depression with the Tearless Trauma Technique
- After 15 years of therapy, including shock therapy, EFT helps release depression
- Success with a skeptical, depressed scientist - follow up included
- Depression, low self esteem and childhood traumas
- Persistence and a challenging case - Incest, abuse, depression, anxiety attacks, nightmares and flashbacks
- A mis-diagnosed manic/depressive disorder
- Depression with numerous underlying issues
- Major results for anxiety, depression and social issues from one thorough EFT session and consistent EFT "homework"
- Hair loss and facial blemishes fade after EFT relieves important emotional issues -- Depression too!
- Adrienne, a physician
- Gary discusses depression and some new ideas
- A non-therapist does superb work on depression--including her own.
- Newbie uses EFT on depression, allergic reactions and more
- 30+ years of depression gone in 2 minutes
- EFT saves a life by rapidly resolving suicidal depression
- Depression and confusion about God
- EFT on personal depression--"I was angry at myself"
- Press Release: New Method for Depression Often Works When Nothing Else Will
- Dr. Patricia Carrington on depression--a detailed discussion, including meds
- Depression, height phobia and claustrophobia eliminated in one session
- Depression related to guilt
- When depression comes from a related issue
- Depression Drugs and Migraine Drugs Don't Always Do The Job
- Depression on Death Row
- EFT Newcomer eliminates his own deep depression and anxiety disorder
- An intimate look at Depression
- EFT instead of shock treatments?
- From depressed and suicidal ... to ... "I laugh all the time
- Panic And Anxiety
- Travel Anxiety--using the Tell the Story Technique
- Febrile convulsions and related panic attacks subside--not one attack in the two years since she learned to use EFT
- Successful surrogate tapping for surgery anxiety
- Persistence and Panic Attacks - Quality results on a stubborn issue
- Getting to the core of "Mark's" anxiety
- EFT for overeating and panic attacks
- Performance anxiety at a music camp
- Gayla uses EFT for panic
- New Method for Treating Anxiety Works When Conventional Treatments Fail
- Clearing social anxiety with EFT
- Two surrogate tapping cases: Dental anxiety and severe stomach ache
- Panic Attacks: Getting behind the thought process
- Husband relieves wife of major panic attack
- EFT newcomer rids himself of social anxiety
- Relief for another stress related cough
- Using EFT for panic when nobody is around
- Combining EFT with the Inner Theater approach for panic attacks
- Testing your EFT work: Feeling trapped and panic attacks
- A Quality "How To Do It" Session for Fear and Anxiety
- Diagnosed as a schizophrenic, Gregoire had anxiety, stress and insomnia
- Current "in your face" anxiety and stress case
- EFT makes good progress with panic, agoraphobia and feeling like a failure
- Detective work crucial in relief for panic attacks
- Sports anxiety, heat sensitivity, being away from home, loneliness, fear of insects.
- 20 year old abduction anxiety calmed with EFT
- Collapsing a client's anxiety from the 9/11 disaster--with 4 year follow-up
- Anxiety and the fear of being alone
- EFT student uses tapping to immediately calm down after a major car accident
- Medical school test anxiety--from C's and D's to A's and B's
- Success story with 10 day anxiety attack
- Surgery anxiety and EFT
- EFT helps adult learners overcome school and math anxiety
- EFT on a case of extreme separation anxiety in a dog and the importance of Core Issues for Animals
- Study Shows Simple Drug-Free Acupressure Technique Reduces Dental Anxiety
- Detective work provides help for an anxiety disorder
- Imagination tapping on the finger points reduces stress level to zero
- Using EFT for a client who feels out of control.
- One EFT round with Deborah's daughter relieves performance anxiety
- Eric Robins, MD and Lisa Cox on surgery anxieties
- Severe anxiety client has his life back
- EFT Newbie resolves her own major trip anxiety
- Panic attacks and heart palpitations subside after doing EFT on dreams
- Anxiety, eating and more
- Success in neutralizing unwanted memories without the client disclosing the content
- Newcomer uses EFT to collapse his own panic-attacks and writes letter to "Quackwatch"
- A detailed panic attack case
- Non-therapist relieves stress in the form of a temper tantrum
- EFT for panic attacks
- Who Would Have Thought That Acupressure Could Relieve Social Anxiety Better Than Drugs or Therapy?
- Daddy left me. Will my new boyfriend leave me too?
- Courtroom anxiety AND anxiety about calling employers
- One EFT phone session resolves driving test anxiety -- and the benefits expand
- Panic attacks and fear of darkness
- Addressing Generalized Anxiety Disorder by aiming EFT at specific events
- Test anxiety
- Using EFT for Social Anxiety Disorder
- Surgeon Uses New Acupressure Technique to Lower Surgery Risk
- Overcoming Test Anxiety with New Drug-Free Technique: 80% Success Rate
- Daily tapping for Panic Attacks
- Anxiety related to atrial fibrillation is calmed with EFT
- Performance anxiety and many aspects
- EFT brings relief for trauma, anxiety, and an overactive bladder, all in less than an hour
- OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
- Uncontrollable grief resolved with EFT
- Attorney helps client by using EFT for long term unresolved grief
- A grief case with many aspects
- When certain music triggers grief and sadness
- Freedom from grief in only 15 minutes
- Relieving grief over the death of Higgins the dog
- Using EFT for Bereavement
- EFT turns grief into beauty
- EFT eliminates unnecessary grief emotions and softens the grieving process - includes 2 month follow up
- EFT brings healing to a whole family while one woman heals her grief
- Community relief from grief with EFT
- This new Widow was helped in many ways by EFT
- EFT for grief and pet loss
- Tapping through grief leads to incredible insight and relief
- EFT for pain and grief for a birth mother who wasn't allowed to see her child -- a touching story with a happy ending
- Getting to important emotions by doing EFT while looking in the mirror
- Imaginary tapping sends grief away
- EFT setup statements for grief
- An easy grief case with an aspect that showed up later
- Grief changes to smiles
- EFT may be a great relief to grief-stricken nurses who lose patients
- Fresh grief and a double benefit.
- Insights into picking up another person
- EFT heals a broken heart in rapid time
- Using EFT to improve a relationship
- EFT, One Minute Wonders and Opening to Love
- EFT by telephone smoothes out a tense family reunion
- Using EFT for relationship issues--a detailed case
- Tapping on relationship issues
- Interesting way to use EFT & Tappy Bear for a broken heart
- Relationships, EFT and Spirituality
- Improve relationships by Tapping in the Positive
- Addressing relationship and family issues by tapping on photographs
- Tapping into a state of Love
- EFT resolves a 10 year heartbreak
- "I didn't like kissing my wife after she drank coffee."
- Jack improves his relationship with his grandson using surrogate EFT
- Using EFT to prepare for a difficult encounter
- How clearing an intense cough led to improved family relationships--an EFT two-for-one EFT benefit
- MD introduces an innovative idea that brings relief for stubborn relationship issue
- Finding the love you want by healing the inner child
- Relationship Issue: "My husband was being a jerk"
- What holds you back from your lover?
- EFT is instrumental in bringing a couple back together
- Relationships - on "Being Right"
- Instant relationship fix?
- Relationship issue: A humorous approach
- EFT for Couples
- Combining role playing with EFT for relationships and other issues
- Using EFT for a Broken Heart
- The Healing Power of Forgiveness
- Love, Intuition, Patience and EFT help a schizophrenic 15 year old.
- Surrogate EFT heals a broken heart for a 16 year old boy
- Retired Stanford professor fixes his wife's computer with EFT
- Relationship success after finding core issue
- EFT to heal family relationships
- Using EFT on "blocking thoughts" to good relationships
- EFT and meditation for a broken heart
- EFT for love pain
- Shared tapping provides benefits for relationship issues
- EFT Instead of the psych ward after a relationship breaks up
- Taking relationships work to a new level--The Odd Couple
- Reframes (seeing things differently) for guilt, shame and sorrow
- Restless leg syndrome linked to guilt - 20 years of restlessness gone in 2 sessions
- How to reduce guilt via an EFT "Tapping Circle" -- keeping privacy for everyone
- The Rolling EFT process
- The "Tapping the System" Technique
- How Guilt and Shame Block the Law of Attraction
- Using EFT for unnecessary guilt - Did EFT get someone's husband to cook dinner?
- EFT and infertility
- Stubborn guilt finally subsides after doing a search on our website and DVDs for ideas
- A bout of cystitis turns out to be a bout of guilt
- Writing a letter
- New Acupressure Discovery Reduces Stress 4 Ways: 80% Success Rate
- Many Stressed Women Abandon Healthy Lifestyle Habits: Simple Acupressure Technique Offers a Solution
- To Physicians: New Discoveries in Acupressure Promise Everything From Alertness to Pain and Stress Management
- A new do-it-yourself approach to acupressure alleviates stress and, in turn neutralizes cold, flu an
- Psychotherapy Dramatically Improved By New 'Acupuncture Without Needles' Technique
- Eating Disorders
- Two Year Bulimia Problem Gets Major Assist in One Hour
- A Bulimia "one session wonder"
- Bulimia in Brazil
- "Acceptance Tapping" - A powerful EFT treatment variation for severe compulsive disorders and bulimia.
- Joe resolves his Anorexia...and more
- Love, diligence and an eating disorder
- Michal describes what it is like to be free from an eating disorder
- Anger Management
A first class look at using EFT for a complex case - depression, guilt, grief and abandonment
Note: This is one of 3,000 articles written prior to the updated Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tapping Tutorial™. It provides practical uses for EFT Tapping and most EFT'ers should find it very helpful. However, if your benefits are temporary or a more in-depth approach is needed, you are urged to explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT, by reading our free e-book, The Unseen Therapist, and/or (3) get help from a Certified EFT Practitioner.
Follow along with EFT Master Sophia Cayer as she professionally unravels a case that wasn't what it seemed at first. As Sophia says, "When someone makes the comment that they have a tendency to ignore people, events, etc, I view it as a major trail that generally requires extensive exploration. This tendency could be a core issue behind resistance, get busy tapping! It is always worthwhile."
I feel this story offers a great example of the need to tune in and always consider the fact that what may appear to be the “obvious reason” for someone’s grief and discomfort, may simply be a clue to a number of underlying causes. It also illustrates the value of dissecting events. While the loss of her husband was a major contributing factor, I soon discovered many aspects linked to Marta’s continual despair.
Initially when I spoke with Marta, she told me that her husband had died about five years ago. She continued to feel consumed by grief and depression. It was affecting every area of her life and she was hoping that EFT could help. When we began to work together, it became apparent that there was much more to the story.
One of the core issues uncovered was her tendency to stuff or repress memories and emotions. She referred to it as “a tendency to ‘ignore people and things’ that left me feeling uncomfortable”. This was true when it came to the loss of her husband, as well as many other “people and things” in her life. Unfortunately, she had done an excellent job of stuffing a ton of events and related emotional baggage. It was definitely taking its toll.
A major trauma she experienced at the age of five, was not as cooperative as many of the others. Marta, now in her sixties, explained that as a child she and her family lived in a Latin American country. One event she wanted to work on dealt with her father abandoning her. While her feelings of abandonment were definitely an issue, the focus rapidly changed.
She began to tell the story of the day her father left. He came home and told her mother to put his clothes in a suit case, because he was leaving them to live with another woman. He left them with no way to pay the rent or buy food. There was no food in the house, and her mother had a single penny in her possession. She sent Marta to the store to purchase sugar so that they could at least have sugar water before going to bed.
Marta’s intensity was on the rise, but she was determined to tell me more. I began to tap surrogately, as I frequently do. The next words out of her mouth were that she had lost the penny, and the tears began to roll. ”I felt so guilty because I lost the penny.”
I had her begin at the top of the head:
“Even though I have all this guilt, I love and accept myself. All this guilt, all this guilt…I really screwed up, I love and forgive myself, all this guilt, I lost it, all this guilt, this guilt…………….
We were making progress, but had a way to go. Pay attention to the shift in language, sometimes addressing the little girl and sometimes the adult. This tends to be pure intuition. I emphasize to all my students that developing and trusting their intuition is one of their most valuable tools.
Even though I lost that penny and I feel really guilty, I love and forgive myself. Even though I lost that penny, I love and forgive myself. I didn’t do it on purpose. I was only a little bitty girl. I was doing the best that I could. I still feel guilty, I love and forgive myself. All this guilt…this sad little girl. I still feel guilty, I love and forgive myself. All this guilt………this sad little girl filled with guilt, I love and forgive this little girl. She had a lot going on, she was traumatized already, then she lost that penny and she is filled with guilt, loving and adoring this little girl…loving and forgiving this little girl, letting her know that I love and adore her…letting her know that it is OK now…healing this little girl, from all this guilt and pain. Healing this little girl from all this guilt and pain…letting go of all this guilt and pain……………
The level of intensity had decreased greatly, but I could feel something else gaining intensity. I stopped to make a determination and learned that Marta’s attention had shifted to “the image burnt in my mind”. It was the image of her mother’s face, filled with anger and desperation. The tears began to roll as she told me about returning home. Mom accused her of being silly and stupid, and yelled at her: “Now we are going to have nothing!”, as she slapped Marta.
“Even though this little girl had this awful experience, her mother said some really unkind things, I love and adore this little girl. Even though this little girl, can’t get this image out of her mind. Her mother’s anger and desperation, I love and adore this little girl. Even though this little girl still has that image in her mind, her mother’s anger and desperation, I love and adore this little girl. I heal this little girl from that awful event and I am letting her know it is OK to let go of this image. This sad little girl, who can’t let go, of that image of mom’s face. This sad little girl who can’t let go of that image of mom’s face. This sad, frightened little girl, who still sees mom’s face. She still sees that anger and desperation. I now heal this little girl from all that sadness. I love and adore this little girl. I now heal this little girl from that awful experience. Loving and adoring this little girl.
As we worked through it, she sobbed, but chose to continue. The next piece that came up dealt with her feelings about provoking Mom.
“Even though I feel I provoked Mom……. I love and forgive myself. Even though I am sure I provoked her, I didn’t mean to, I love and forgive myself. This deep sadness and all this guilt……I feel I provoked her, all this sadness and guilt. I felt I provoked her, I love and forgive myself…I was only 5 years old, but I provoked her. I can still see her face. She slapped me! This stunned disbelief. I couldn’t believe she slapped me. I provoked her. Stunned disbelief……all this guilt and sadness…………”
I stopped to reassess and she felt she was now at a 5. We continued:
“Even though I still feel that I provoked her, it was all my fault, I love and forgive myself. Even though I am still blaming myself, I provoked her, I love and forgive myself. Even though I still blame myself, because I feel I provoked her, I deeply and completely love, honor, respect and accept myself unconditionally. I provoked her and she slapped me. All this guilt and sadness. This stunned disbelief, I provoked her. I love and forgive myself. I love and forgive myself. Even though I was only 5 I managed to provoke her. I love and forgive myself. All this guilt and sadness, this guilt and sadness …loving and forgiving myself, stunned disbelief, I can’t believe she slapped me. This guilt and sadness. This stunned disbelief, I still see her face filled with anger and desperation. She took it all out on me. She made me feel like it was all my fault. I love and forgive myself, I love and forgive myself……all this guilt and sadness, this remaining guilt and sadness, remaining guilt and sadness…remaining stunned disbelief…”
The tears had stopped and she sounded much calmer. We began to reassess. I asked her to do her best to focus solely on the feeling that she provoked mom. She felt no intensity. I inquired about the slap. She felt it was now at a 3, but said she seemed to be realizing that mom was reacting to her father’s abandonment and probably not what she had done. Ah, ha! Yes, we are making progress!!
“Even though mom slapped me, I am OK anyway………she slapped me, this slap, this slap…She was really angry, and she slapped me, she slapped me………”
She said she was feeling much better, but was now seeing herself in the middle of the street, wondering what was would become of them. “All this responsibility and I couldn’t perform. I felt a sense of panic. I had to find that penny! It was just a dirt road, it was getting dark. I dropped the penny and couldn’t find it!”
“Even though I still see myself in the middle of that street, I had to find that penny. I was really frightened. I love and accept myself. Even though I still see myself searching for that penny, panicked and frightened. It was getting dark and I couldn’t see anything. Even though I still see myself in the middle of that street frightened and panicked. Where is that penny! Frightened and panicked. Where is that penny? I have to find it!!! What am I going to do if I can’t find it? Frightened and panicked. Frightened, frightened, what am I going to do? What is going to happen to us? This frightened little girl……….”
Even though she ended up in tears as we tapped, she now said she was beginning to feel freer and more relaxed.
I had her go back to the beginning and attempt to tell the story, telling her to stop the instant she felt any intensity. It was only a moment before I had her go to the top of her head and begin to tap:
“This deep sadness, this image of mom, packing his clothes. This image of mom packing his clothes, this image of her packing his clothes. This image……………”
Once again, I had her try to tell the story. She commented: “Now I think my father was such a S.O.B.!” She also had the realization that much of her sorrow was related to what her mother experienced. She told me that until now she never realized how intense those feelings were, or that she had carried them all these years. She began to recall many scenes when her father had been abusive and disrespectful to her mother.
“Even though I have all this mom sadness, I am OK anyway. Even though I have all this mom sadness, I choose peace within. I choose peace………in spite of all this sadness, I choose peace, I choose peace within……..”
She then began to feel at fault for many things that had taken place.
“Even though I have all this deep sadness, I am still making this my fault, I love and forgive myself. Even though I have all this deep sadness, I am blaming myself, I love and forgive myself …it is all my fault, this deep sadness, I am a very powerful little girl, it is all my fault, it is all my fault. I made everything worse…I love and forgive myself. Even though I have all this deep sadness, I love and forgive myself, I love and forgive myself.”
We finally reached a point where I felt we could begin to test things. She was handling things well, so I tried saying: “You made it worse!” Her intensity began to return:
“Even though I am determined to carry this guilt, I love and forgive myself. Even though I am determined to carry this guilt, I love and adore myself. Even though I have this remaining guilt, that I can’t seem to let go of, I love and adore myself. Even though I have this remaining guilt, I love and forgive myself……..”
The next time while we were testing, I tried: “Well, it was all your fault!”
Her immediate response was: “Well, no it wasn’t!”
I had her attempt the story again……….She was doing quite well until she got to her father’s departure. “He didn’t kiss me or say goodbye, he just left.”
“Even though he left without even saying good bye, I am OK anyway. Even though he left without saying goodbye, I am OK anyway……no goodbye, not even a goodbye, no goodbye………he didn’t say a word to me, no goodbye, not a word. Not a single word. Not a word, no goodbye…………”
At this point we were back to feelings of guilt. His leaving had to be the result of something she had done. It was the first time she could ever recall experiencing these feelings. In the past, the gripping image of Mom’s face and the emotions she experienced around losing the penny were what had triggered her. She began to jump around a bit, and felt overcome with sadness, saying the guilt part didn’t seem to matter. She said: “I now feel full of tears, I don’t want to think about it anymore……
To the top of the head:
“This deep sadness, this deep grief and sadness, this unending deep sadness, this deep sadness………”
Now all the old abandonment issues began to surface, and she began to reel off a list of people she felt had abandoned her. Marta said she felt that everyone in her life she deemed important had abandoned her, including the husband. It was obvious that we needed to begin to address individual situations, but for the moment, we tapped to take the edge off her rapidly rising emotions:
“Even though I am incredibly angry, I feel cheated, I give everything and get nothing in return…..I love an accept myself. Even though everybody who ever meant anything to me in my life has cheated me, they abandoned me, I have given and given. All this anger and these mixed emotions……everybody has done it to me, I feel cheated, this anger……….
Marta reached a calmer state, and also began to realize herself, the value of addressing those “things” that she thought were so neatly tucked away.
When someone makes the comment that they have a tendency to ignore people, events, etc, I view it as a major trail that generally requires extensive exploration. This tendency could be a core issue behind resistance, get busy tapping! It is always worthwhile.
FOR MORE EFT HELP ...
Explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT, by reading our free e-book, The Unseen Therapist.