By Angie Muccillo

Hi Gary

This is an anger management technique I have used to successfully help clients “let off steam” safely and effectively, combining EFT with a simple visualization to help “vaporize” the energy of anger.

The function of a cooling tower is to remove energy from a building.  This is an interesting metaphor and can be used to remove ‘heated’ energy that can build up within us, sometimes to the boiling point.  Cooling towers are specially designed chimneys used in the production of coal for electricity.  

Here the concept is used as a metaphor for the rise and release of “heated” angry energy and emotions, which boil inside and cause us to eventually lose our cool, most often inappropriately and to the detriment of others and ourselves.  Here is an example of a treatment, where the client went from “steaming to cool” in 4 rounds.

Sue (not her real name) described a disturbing incident where her 8 year-old son was bullied and beaten up by a group of older boys in a toilet block at school a few months ago.  Sue described how, in her anger and rage, she stormed down to the school to literally go after the boys who had harmed her son.  She was angry with the school for allowing this to happen and felt that not enough was being done about it.  She hurled abuse at the teachers, and went off in a fit of rage, demanding to get her hands on those boys.

Since the incident Sue’s son developed a fear of public toilets, experienced separation anxiety and went from being a bright, outgoing, popular child to a withdrawn frightened one who feared going anywhere without his mother, including school.  Sue had come to talk to me about getting help for her son, but was becoming increasingly distressed as she told the story.

She clearly was holding on to an enormous level of anger toward her son’s attackers and the school and was talking about going back to the school again to have her say in much the same fashion as she did before.

As she was already in the moment in this case, instead of applying EFT in the classic fashion of using set up phrases, I asked Sue if I could start tapping on her, while she was feeling upset.  She agreed to try it.

As I tapped the shortcut points in a continuous manner, I asked Sue to close her eyes and visualize what she would do to those boys if she could get her hands on them.  I asked her to send those thoughts and images up through her head as though she was releasing steam through a chimney.

She started shaking and crying and literally steaming as she imagined what she would do to them if she could.  After about 4 rounds she stopped, opened her eyes and with absolute amazement said, “It’s stopped, it just stopped, it’s gone,” meaning her intense anger and feelings of vengeance.  She was utterly surprised and stunned and of course very relieved.

I asked her if she was willing to describe what happened in her mind.  She said that at first the vision of a gun appeared vividly as she addressed the boys and teachers but then the image simply vanished and she just “snapped out of it.”  She had cooled right down within a few minutes.

You could see the relief on her face and in her body, which had collapsed back into the chair.  She realized how destructive carrying this kind of anger was and how different she felt without it.  She said the image of steam rising from her head really helped her to let go.  

In her newfound coolness she started speaking differently about the whole situation and started coming up with new ideas and insights about how to handle the problem.  Needless to say these were far more diplomatic than the use of weaponry!  Instead of feeling “at war” with her son’s attackers and the school, she was able to “put down her guns” (her fears, vengeance, deep sense of injustice and defensive rage) and start making decisions from a place of calm, rather than the previous place of rage.  

She acknowledged that her anger only really made the situation worse and achieved nothing in the way of resolution.  She was glad to be free of it and felt ready to discuss the situation calmly.

In a separate session with her son we used the same technique to release his anger towards the boys who had hurt and humiliated him.  Interestingly he also brought up the same visual of a gun.  This is the sort of deep emotional disturbances our children do not need to hold onto and carry into adulthood.  We are incredibly fortunate to have EFT.  Within one long session, EFT helped resolve all his issues and he is back to being confident and stress free, no longer showing any of his previous symptoms of anxiety.

How to Apply the Cooling Tower Technique

Whenever you are “heated up” about something, and feel like you could “blow your stack” use EFT to take the heat out of it and cool down safely by diffusing the anger before it creates bigger problems.

Spend time doing EFT on these boiling issues, changing the path from one of potential destruction to one of greater peace and calm.  The trick is to unleash in your mind, without holding back, all the thoughts and actions that you are tempted to take.

Sometimes we just carry these inside us, allowing ourselves get to a boiling point and then exploding.  While other times we explode first and think later.  But by then it’s often too late and at best we hurt our loved ones or at worst we may be led to commit a crime; all of which could have been avoided with some simple tapping to let off the excess steam (energy).

1. Think of a problem in your life that is causing you to be “at war” with somebody, or something in your life that you are “heated up” about.  Is there a person or group of people who you “could kill” for something they’re done towards you or someone else that leaves you feeling enraged.  Use a “Heat-o-meter” to measure how heated up you are about the issue, with 0 being “completely cool” to 10 being “100% steaming or fuming.

2. Close your eyes and allow yourself to focus on the scene in your mind’s eye and imagine what you would do to get back, get even, settle the score etc.  Say what you really feel compelled to say or compelled to do to the other person or persons.

3. While letting the ‘heat’ rise up, tap continuously and imagine sending those thoughts and images up through your head as though you are releasing steam through a chimney.  Tap until all those images have evaporated like steam.

Using EFT as a “weapon” to end those inner and outer wars creates a deep sense of personal peace despite the external circumstances and this translates into peace at home, work and in the community.  We can all contribute to world peace simply by systematically letting off steam with EFT.  We do have the power.  It is at our fingertips!

Cheers

Angie Muccillo