- Other Emotional Issues
- Anger Management
- Getting over a gang rape--including a follow-up
- EFT alleviates horrendous self-hatred and rage
- Calming down Teddy, an emotionally disturbedboy
- EFT for anger underlying ALS
- Releasing anger at parents allowed healing of ulcerative colitis and headaches
- Suppressed anger expelled via the stomach
- EFT for self righteous anger
- Intuitional work with anger
- A First Class use of Surrogate EFT for Bill's anger and behavior issues
- EFT Transforms "hopping-mad" anger
- An unusual anger release
- Anger in a homeless shelter
- A murderous rage is calmed with EFT
- Josh: Building rapport with children--anger & behavior problems.
- EFT for anger helps both Ann and her angry husband--note the surrogate approach
- Unbearable hatred toward classmates
- Anger and Hostility are Proven to Damage Lungs; Simple Acupressure Technique Offers a Solution
- Anger case history from a client
- EFT for workplace anger
- EFT and severe mental illness--a murderous impulse
- An interesting approach to EFT and road rage
- Using EFT for on-the-spot "hopping mad" anger
- Surrogate EFT for fighting neighbors
- Brandon's Story--anger problem becomes history: (including an update at the end)
- EFT for deep seated anger
- A client talks about her abusive childhood and her relief via EFT
- Resentments relieved 22 years after a poor birthing experience
- EFT resolves long term resentment
- The EFT Cooling Tower Technique for Letting off Steam
- Anger management approach for a polarity responder
- The cause of our anger isn't always as it appears
- A client resolves lifelong anger on her own
- Clearing anger and self loathing with EFT via introduction to inner child
- Stubborn anger issue falls to 0 with emphatic "say what you feel" wording.
- Road Rage and hives disappear in one session after getting to the core issue
- Press Release: Can a One-Minute Anger Management Technique Reduce Injury Risk and Chronic Illness?
- Releasing anger patterns with EFT
- Employee overcomes anger at supervisor
- Jonas uses EFT for deeper meditation - dangerous PSA reading is now only 0.4
- School Counselor on anger and tension,
- Getting behind a successful EFT anger case
- New Technique Helps Avoid Heart Damage by Diffusing Anger Within Marital Arguments
- The client who continually felt resentful
- Anger case--the urge to explode
- Even dropping the kids off at school provides tapping opportunities - an anger issue
- Using EFT to self-calm an intense anger tantrum
- Useful thoughts on anger by Stewart Robertson
- Football Star Uses New Acupressure Technique to Calm his Road Rage -- No Drugs Needed
- Transgender person with abusive mother relieves rage with EFT
- A successful but involved depression case--"I don't want to tell you how well I'm doing"
- EFT resolves 12 years of postnatal depression
- What was REALLY causing Anne's depression?
- EFT student eases his wife's suicidal thoughts
- Louella: Depression, pesticides and low blood sugar
- Surrogate tapping and its effect on depression.
- Persistent EFT by Email on depression, anger and anxiety
- Cross dressing, sexuality and depression
- Long term severe depression gone in ten minutes
- Jaqui Crooks used EFT to overcome her Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
- Maggie eliminates her own depression
- A textbook depression case--a "one minute wonder" complete with belief changes
- Approaching Depression with the Tearless Trauma Technique
- After 15 years of therapy, including shock therapy, EFT helps release depression
- A case that didn't work--and some suggestions
- A first class look at using EFT for a complex case - depression, guilt, grief and abandonment
- Was it really a manic/depressive disorder?
- A mis-diagnosed manic/depressive disorder
- Depression with numerous underlying issues
- Major results for anxiety, depression and social issues from one thorough EFT session and consistent EFT "homework"
- Success with a skeptical, depressed scientist - follow up included
- Depression, low self esteem and childhood traumas
- Persistence and a challenging case - Incest, abuse, depression, anxiety attacks, nightmares and flashbacks
- A non-therapist does superb work on depression--including her own.
- Newbie uses EFT on depression, allergic reactions and more
- Hair loss and facial blemishes fade after EFT relieves important emotional issues -- Depression too!
- Adrienne, a physician
- Gary discusses depression and some new ideas
- EFT on personal depression--"I was angry at myself"
- Press Release: New Method for Depression Often Works When Nothing Else Will
- 30+ years of depression gone in 2 minutes
- EFT saves a life by rapidly resolving suicidal depression
- Depression and confusion about God
- When depression comes from a related issue
- Depression Drugs and Migraine Drugs Don't Always Do The Job
- Dr. Patricia Carrington on depression--a detailed discussion, including meds
- Depression, height phobia and claustrophobia eliminated in one session
- Depression related to guilt
- EFT instead of shock treatments?
- From depressed and suicidal ... to ... "I laugh all the time
- Depression on Death Row
- EFT Newcomer eliminates his own deep depression and anxiety disorder
- An intimate look at Depression
- Panic And Anxiety
- Getting to the core of "Mark's" anxiety
- EFT for overeating and panic attacks
- Performance anxiety at a music camp
- Gayla uses EFT for panic
- Travel Anxiety--using the Tell the Story Technique
- Febrile convulsions and related panic attacks subside--not one attack in the two years since she learned to use EFT
- Successful surrogate tapping for surgery anxiety
- Persistence and Panic Attacks - Quality results on a stubborn issue
- Husband relieves wife of major panic attack
- EFT newcomer rids himself of social anxiety
- Relief for another stress related cough
- Using EFT for panic when nobody is around
- New Method for Treating Anxiety Works When Conventional Treatments Fail
- Clearing social anxiety with EFT
- Two surrogate tapping cases: Dental anxiety and severe stomach ache
- Panic Attacks: Getting behind the thought process
- Diagnosed as a schizophrenic, Gregoire had anxiety, stress and insomnia
- Current "in your face" anxiety and stress case
- EFT makes good progress with panic, agoraphobia and feeling like a failure
- Detective work crucial in relief for panic attacks
- Combining EFT with the Inner Theater approach for panic attacks
- Testing your EFT work: Feeling trapped and panic attacks
- A Quality "How To Do It" Session for Fear and Anxiety
- Anxiety and the fear of being alone
- EFT student uses tapping to immediately calm down after a major car accident
- Medical school test anxiety--from C's and D's to A's and B's
- Success story with 10 day anxiety attack
- Sports anxiety, heat sensitivity, being away from home, loneliness, fear of insects.
- 20 year old abduction anxiety calmed with EFT
- Collapsing a client's anxiety from the 9/11 disaster--with 4 year follow-up
- Detective work provides help for an anxiety disorder
- Imagination tapping on the finger points reduces stress level to zero
- Using EFT for a client who feels out of control.
- One EFT round with Deborah's daughter relieves performance anxiety
- Surgery anxiety and EFT
- EFT helps adult learners overcome school and math anxiety
- EFT on a case of extreme separation anxiety in a dog and the importance of Core Issues for Animals
- Study Shows Simple Drug-Free Acupressure Technique Reduces Dental Anxiety
- Anxiety, eating and more
- Success in neutralizing unwanted memories without the client disclosing the content
- Newcomer uses EFT to collapse his own panic-attacks and writes letter to "Quackwatch"
- A detailed panic attack case
- Eric Robins, MD and Lisa Cox on surgery anxieties
- Severe anxiety client has his life back
- EFT Newbie resolves her own major trip anxiety
- Panic attacks and heart palpitations subside after doing EFT on dreams
- Courtroom anxiety AND anxiety about calling employers
- One EFT phone session resolves driving test anxiety -- and the benefits expand
- Panic attacks and fear of darkness
- Addressing Generalized Anxiety Disorder by aiming EFT at specific events
- Non-therapist relieves stress in the form of a temper tantrum
- EFT for panic attacks
- Who Would Have Thought That Acupressure Could Relieve Social Anxiety Better Than Drugs or Therapy?
- Daddy left me. Will my new boyfriend leave me too?
- Daily tapping for Panic Attacks
- Anxiety related to atrial fibrillation is calmed with EFT
- Performance anxiety and many aspects
- EFT brings relief for trauma, anxiety, and an overactive bladder, all in less than an hour
- Test anxiety
- Using EFT for Social Anxiety Disorder
- Surgeon Uses New Acupressure Technique to Lower Surgery Risk
- Overcoming Test Anxiety with New Drug-Free Technique: 80% Success Rate
- OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
- A grief case with many aspects
- Uncontrollable grief resolved with EFT
- Attorney helps client by using EFT for long term unresolved grief
- Freedom from grief in only 15 minutes
- Relieving grief over the death of Higgins the dog
- When certain music triggers grief and sadness
- EFT eliminates unnecessary grief emotions and softens the grieving process - includes 2 month follow up
- Using EFT for Bereavement
- EFT turns grief into beauty
- EFT brings healing to a whole family while one woman heals her grief
- Community relief from grief with EFT
- This new Widow was helped in many ways by EFT
- EFT for grief and pet loss
- Getting to important emotions by doing EFT while looking in the mirror
- Tapping through grief leads to incredible insight and relief
- EFT for pain and grief for a birth mother who wasn't allowed to see her child -- a touching story with a happy ending
- An easy grief case with an aspect that showed up later
- Imaginary tapping sends grief away
- EFT setup statements for grief
- Fresh grief and a double benefit.
- Grief changes to smiles
- EFT may be a great relief to grief-stricken nurses who lose patients
- Using EFT to improve a relationship
- EFT, One Minute Wonders and Opening to Love
- EFT by telephone smoothes out a tense family reunion
- Insights into picking up another person
- EFT heals a broken heart in rapid time
- Interesting way to use EFT & Tappy Bear for a broken heart
- Relationships, EFT and Spirituality
- Improve relationships by Tapping in the Positive
- Using EFT for relationship issues--a detailed case
- Tapping on relationship issues
- EFT resolves a 10 year heartbreak
- "I didn't like kissing my wife after she drank coffee."
- Jack improves his relationship with his grandson using surrogate EFT
- Addressing relationship and family issues by tapping on photographs
- Tapping into a state of Love
- MD introduces an innovative idea that brings relief for stubborn relationship issue
- Finding the love you want by healing the inner child
- Relationship Issue: "My husband was being a jerk"
- Using EFT to prepare for a difficult encounter
- How clearing an intense cough led to improved family relationships--an EFT two-for-one EFT benefit
- Relationships - on "Being Right"
- Instant relationship fix?
- Relationship issue: A humorous approach
- What holds you back from your lover?
- EFT is instrumental in bringing a couple back together
- Using EFT for a Broken Heart
- The Healing Power of Forgiveness
- Love, Intuition, Patience and EFT help a schizophrenic 15 year old.
- EFT for Couples
- Combining role playing with EFT for relationships and other issues
- Relationship success after finding core issue
- EFT to heal family relationships
- Using EFT on "blocking thoughts" to good relationships
- Surrogate EFT heals a broken heart for a 16 year old boy
- Retired Stanford professor fixes his wife's computer with EFT
- Shared tapping provides benefits for relationship issues
- EFT Instead of the psych ward after a relationship breaks up
- Taking relationships work to a new level--The Odd Couple
- EFT and meditation for a broken heart
- EFT for love pain
- Reframes (seeing things differently) for guilt, shame and sorrow
- Restless leg syndrome linked to guilt - 20 years of restlessness gone in 2 sessions
- How to reduce guilt via an EFT "Tapping Circle" -- keeping privacy for everyone
- The "Tapping the System" Technique
- The Rolling EFT process
- Using EFT for unnecessary guilt - Did EFT get someone's husband to cook dinner?
- How Guilt and Shame Block the Law of Attraction
- Stubborn guilt finally subsides after doing a search on our website and DVDs for ideas
- EFT and infertility
- A bout of cystitis turns out to be a bout of guilt
- Writing a letter
- New Acupressure Discovery Reduces Stress 4 Ways: 80% Success Rate
- Many Stressed Women Abandon Healthy Lifestyle Habits: Simple Acupressure Technique Offers a Solution
- To Physicians: New Discoveries in Acupressure Promise Everything From Alertness to Pain and Stress Management
- A new do-it-yourself approach to acupressure alleviates stress and, in turn neutralizes cold, flu an
- Psychotherapy Dramatically Improved By New 'Acupuncture Without Needles' Technique
- Eating Disorders
- Two Year Bulimia Problem Gets Major Assist in One Hour
- A Bulimia "one session wonder"
- Bulimia in Brazil
- "Acceptance Tapping" - A powerful EFT treatment variation for severe compulsive disorders and bulimia.
- Joe resolves his Anorexia...and more
- Love, diligence and an eating disorder
- Michal describes what it is like to be free from an eating disorder
- Anger Management
Using EFT on "blocking thoughts" to good relationships
Note: This is one of 3,000 articles written prior to the updated Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tapping Tutorial™. It provides practical uses for EFT Tapping and most EFT'ers should find it very helpful. However, if your benefits are temporary or a more in-depth approach is needed, you are urged to (1) consult The Gold Standard EFT Tapping Tutorial, (2) Explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT, by reading our free e-book, The Unseen Therapist, and/or (3) get help from a Certified EFT Practitioner.
David Lake, MD shares his experience with us regarding relationships. Among other things, he takes us through several clever and insightful uses of EFT for what he calls "blocking thoughts" to good relationships. His specific wording also includes some interesting humor and subtle reframes.
I know of a sure way to ruin your relationship. Be a critic. Of all the relationship poisons, this is the deadliest. Over time, it is guaranteed never to improve the quality of your life. I suggest that EFT is the most useful antidote to this poison. Using EFT initially doesn't solve the problem. Instead, it helps you to get straight emotionally first. When you can be more neutral, both parties can confront and negotiate the truths of the situation more evenly.
The urge to criticise and blame comes from deeply-felt ideas about the world and how it should be. There are two kinds of people in the world, those that can tolerate crumbs in the bed, and those who can't (actually, it's those who think there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't). As such, the hurt feelings are your own, and are triggered off by others--not caused.
Criticism can't work because of the world of hurt feelings that it stirs up in both participants. The price for being a critic is often the appreciation, acceptance and friendship inherent in a good relationship.
Here's how I would use EFT personally, both for the criticiser and criticisee. I think it has more leverage if you focus on the negative and "hot" aspects of a problem, especially the irrational and awful/terrible/horrible ones. I use a light touch with the affirmations because I find this helps. Make these personal for your situation.
If you are the doer, you might feel the need to right a "wrong", and to restore your sense of order in your inner world about excess chaos--typically caused by another (often someone you "love").You could say:
"Even if I feel like I can't let this go...I'm going to do the best I can."
"Although I can't put up with this any more....and I shouldn't have to anyway...and he/she should know better by now...I am going to find a way to deal with this."
"Even though I know I'm right about this...so he/she must be wrong, I'd rather be happy than completely correct."
"Despite this personal insult...I won't let it get in the way of our friendship."
"Even though I'm so upset about this I don't even want to tap, I'll do it anyway to keep the faith."
"Although this is the last straw...and homicide is against the law...I suppose we both make mistakes."
"Even though this makes life harder/more work for me, which I don't need, I will work hard for our friendship."
"Although this reminds me of a whole lot of other bad stuff, it's only Monday; I'm going to handle this."
"Even if this is proof that I live with a criminal/fool/idiot/dolt/hopeless case, he/she is my idiot--and I love him/her dearly, the last time I checked."
"Although he/she promised to love, honour and cherish, so did I--and I'm going to do it right now."
Blocking thoughts to treating the frustration about the "crime" include the following: I would say "I accept myself deeply and completely, even if..."
Nothing will ever change around here
I could become a doormat/martyr if I don't speak up
Things have to be done correctly...the right way (my way)
They don't do it, and they don't care...so I don't matter to them
They will never learn
I do things better
It's deliberate on his/her part
It's serious/important to me and I must prevail
I'm with the wrong person
I can't respect someone who does this
If he/she loved me they wouldn't do this
I feel/am helpless
Very often we lose sight of the awful fact that we are just as much a bother to our partner. Naturally they will remind us in due course. You become the criticisee, the receiver. When you cop the lot (Australian for receiving criticism) you could use EFT like this:
"Although I'm really hurt and upset...and he/she shouldn't have said those things, I'll settle myself the best I can."
"Even if he/she is really angry, soon we'll discuss this like friends."
"Although I don't think this is so bad, I'll fix it if I can, just for her/him."
"Even if this is a storm in a teacup...it's our teacup, and I can help out here."
"He/she obviously hates me...and two can play that game, but I'll do the tapping and prevent World War 3."
"Although it's ridiculous for him/her to get so upset...and upset me as well, I'm going to hang in there, despite everything."
"Although I'm guilty until proven innocent...the trial is today and the hanging tomorrow, I can weather this storm."
"Even if technically it's not my fault, I'll stay calm and apologise if I'm part of the problem."
"Although he/she's not blameless, I'll find the useful reaction here."
Blocking thoughts: "I accept myself deeply and completely even if..."
My good deeds have gone unnoticed
I can't live up to his/her standards
I am a bad person to him/her
Here we go again
His/her crimes are worse than mine
This whole thing is useless
He/she hates me
This is just too much/over the top/the end of the line
I can't help it if I'm not perfect
One objection to using EFT for these common hurts is that it could lead to feeling relaxed about a legitimate issue of abuse or bad boundaries. This is possible, but in my opinion only if there are severe personal problems to begin with; this would manifest as a poor sense of self in a damaged person.
I would still use EFT in this situation as it is very likely to lead to greatly increased self-esteem over time. Here the relational aspects of good therapy are as important as Energy techniques. When EFT does it's magic to our dysfunctional feeling-reactions, there's little danger that we will become too saintly or forgiving for the wrong reasons; we lose neither our common sense nor our time-tested ability to say or do the wrong thing from time to time.
Persistence and more persistence is the key in treating the deep anxieties and fears underlying our critical actions.
Of course there is much to do in negotiating the compromises of partnership. Some habits and faults are never going to change. If we criticise, in essence we have forgotten the Golden Rule with respect to forgiveness. My daughter once said to me "I know I did the wrong thing, but why are you so upset?" Exactly.
If you can imagine a world where you are treated so well, so kindly, so graciously, by someone who thinks the best of you, then naturally you will reciprocate. Nelson Mandela said in Sydney last week "If you treat people with impeccable integrity and honesty, then that is how they will treat you". Do we really have the right to criticise others?
Use EFT to help yourself and others to move beyond our limiting negative beliefs about the world. Start at home.
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