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Other Emotional Issues

Grief

Getting to important emotions by doing EFT while looking in the mirror

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Hi Everyone,

Sometimes a client will have difficulty accessing important emotions and that, of course, can dilute EFT's usefulness. Lenore Watts from Australia recognized this issue with a few of her clients and generated success by tapping on them while they looked in the mirror. She gives the details in this article. Very useful idea.

Hugs, Gary


By Lenore Watts

I have been using EFT with clients for over 6 years and usually achieve excellent results. So you can imagine my recent frustration (and that of a few of my clients') when the usual great results did not occur!

At first I thought we were not tapping into the 'real issues' however I soon noticed a common theme. They all mentioned not being able to access their emotions when doing EFT (even though the emotions came flooding in at times when they were not using the technique). This was quite different to having the emotion processed and released though the tapping. It was more a case of them becoming 'shut down or numb' while doing the technique.

I thought about this and it occurred to me that perhaps doing the technique itself was interrupting the process. I also wondered if more visual stimulation could help. It was interesting to note that all these clients had successful careers and all but one was male.

So I tried EFT with these clients in a different way. I sat the client down looking into a mirror and had them talk about themselves while I tapped on them. The results with these clients have been really wonderful, with all of them having huge emotional shifts. I recently did this with a client Greg, who was able to finally grieve for the father he lost to suicide (which the family was told to keep secret) thirty years earlier. I placed Greg in front of the mirror and began tapping on him. I then asked:

LW: "What sort of person are you Greg"
Greg: "I'm successful at work and good at business it's easy. I'm a quiet kind of guy really I suppose."
LW: "As you sit here, describe what you look like?'
Greg: (pause) " I'm wearing a blue shirt, bit overweight, lots of grey hair, brown eyes."
LW: "Who do you look like most in the family?"
Greg: "My father"
LW: As you look in the mirror and see your father, what is that like for you?"
Greg: (beginning to cry) "It's awful, I feel ashamed"
LW: "What is the shame about?"

By this time Greg was accessing and processing his emotions. I continued tapping while Greg talked about how having to keep his fathers death a secret and looking like his father made him feel like it wasn't safe to access his emotions or to be 'noticed' too much in the family. He said he often felt like he wanted to hide.

Greg also talked about how frightened he was that, because he looked like his father, perhaps he was like his father and would commit suicide himself one day. He then began to talk about the loss he felt of not having his father around and how much he missed him. There was quite a lot of crying during this process. However, I continued to tap on him throughout.

At the end of the session Greg said he felt calm looking at himself in the mirror (something he had not felt for thirty years) and lighter. Greg was also able to talk freely about his feelings in later sessions and use the EFT technique successfully himself.

I am always humbled by the power of EFT and how it helps to relieve so much suffering - even if it takes a little creativity at times!

Lenore Watts

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