Other Emotional Issues

Anger Management

Getting over a gang rape--including a follow-up

EFt Tapping Outdated ImageNote: This is one of 3,000 articles written prior to the updated Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tapping Tutorial™.  It provides practical uses for EFT Tapping and most EFT'ers should find it very helpful.  However, if your benefits are temporary or a more in-depth approach is needed, you are urged to (1) consult The Gold Standard EFT Tapping Tutorial, (2) Explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT, by reading our free e-book, The Unseen Therapist, and/or (3) get help from a Certified EFT Practitioner.  

Hi Everyone,

Ellen Simes' client was gang raped and, of course, held within her all the anger and related emotions that go with that experience. Ellen is well studied in EFT and, as you might expect, separated out many aspects for tapping. As you will see, this one session allowed the client to travel a long way down the road to resolution.

Hugs, Gary


By Ellen Simes

Dear Gary,

I have been using EFT for a little over a year now. I have watched the original tapes several times, the Ultimate Therapist tapes a couple of times, and just recently purchased From EFT to The Palace of Possibilities.

Last June I had a client (Ann) who came to me for Reiki, to help her release stress and anger she felt she was building up. Work was overwhelming and her relationship with "Steve", her partner, was unwinding. We sat and talked before the Reiki session, and I asked her if she knew where all the "anger stuff" was coming from. She said she had never gotten over being gang raped 20 years ago by her ex-husband ("Neil") and a bunch of his service buddies (he also beat her regularly in those days and was verbally abusive). She felt she could never forgive him (Neil), even though she had been through much traditional counseling. Her history was negatively affecting her current relationship with "Steve" and her ability to be intimate.

I suggested that before we do Reiki, we try EFT (it was a new tool for me) and attempt to clear up the energy system a bit so that Reiki might be even more effective. She was willing to give EFT a try. So Ann started telling me her story and immediately had a SUDs [0-10 intensity] level of 10+. We defined that aspect as feelings of helplessness, and did two rounds of tapping to get that to a 0. As she retold the story, many other aspects came up and we tapped for them all. Some of them were:

  • anger at her husband
  • anger at the other men involved
  • anger at herself for allowing it to happen
  • disgust at herself
  • feelings of shame
  • feelings of weakness
  • feelings of dirtiness
  • feelings of embarrassment
  • feelings of worthlessness
  • why did this happen to me?
  • I made this happen
  • I am not good enough
  • I did not deserve this
  • this is my fault
  • why me?

and even more.

We tapped ( often using the shortcut) until each one was a 0. The whole process took about an hour and a half, and was, at times, a tearful encounter. Ultimately she told the story, in several ways, and commented that it was like watching a movie - she was now outside the events, no emotional charge to it. She was thrilled and amazed. We moved on to her Reiki session and she left relaxed and happy.

Two weeks later I received a call from Ann. She wanted to tell me about what had happened to her. She was on the phone with her ex-mother-in-law (whom she had remained in contact with throughout the years) who had called to wish her a happy birthday. While Ann was speaking to her ex-mother-in-law, her ex-husband "Neil" walked into the house and grabbed the phone. He said "happy birthday Annie" in what she heard as a sarcastic tone of voice. Ann said she was amazed - normally that would have caused her to "freak out" and go into panic and fear and an anxiety attack. Instead she just thought it was ridiculous and told him to put his mother back on the phone - no emotional charge. She was thrilled.

Five months later Ann decided to file for an annulment from "Neil" (although they had divorced years ago, she had never gotten an annulment). She sent him the papers and was at peace with whatever would happen. He called her and they were able to have lunch and talk. He actually apologized and said he wanted to help her gain the annulment and whatever else he could do to make amends.

Ann has since been able to talk with this man and explain how his past behaviors hurt her and caused her both physical and emotional pain, and she has been able to help both herself and him through a healing process. Her relationship with "Steve," her current partner, has become more comfortable and they are now working through intimacy issues she had previously been unable to approach.

During all this time, Ann was seeing a traditional therapist and receiving medication for depression. She recognizes, as I do, that all of these tools have helped her to heal, and that they have worked in synergistically to produce results she had only dreamed of in a short time frame.

I have changed names to respect client confidences. Thanks for letting me share this experience.

Ellen F. Simes, Rph.

 

 

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