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Injecting "want to" into the EFT Setup language

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Hi Everyone,

Deborah Mitnick shares with us why she finds merit in injecting "want to" into the EFT Setup language.

Hugs, Gary

By Deborah Mitnick LCSW

Hello, EFT.

I used to use the affirmation, "Even though I [have this challenge], I deeply and completely accept myself."

But I rarely use that now. I've changed to, "Even though I [have this challenge], I want to deeply and completely accept myself."

My wording above is different from Gary's and I want to explain why I use it. Because of their shaky self-esteem issues, I've had a lot of clients who objected to saying, "...I deeply and completely accept myself." They tell me that they just don't accept themselves and could never say that they do. Of course, this is just another issue that could be tapped on, and eventually we shall tap on it. But in the interest of maintaining rapport as well as efficiency for the current session and in order to avoid adding another issue which may be a distracter from what we are currently addressing, I've chosen to start with the "want to" wording. Most of my clients immediately relate to wanting to accept themselves and they nod their heads and make wistful comments of agreement. I think this wording is a gentle way to transition toward self-acceptance.

GC COMMENT: How to handle a client's response to "deeply and completely accepting themselves" is a matter of style and judgment and I doubt if there is any perfect way of doing it. Deborah's "want to" wording is a very useful idea.

I usually address it head on, but not always. In the past, when I chose to tip toe up to the subject, I would have the client say "Even though I [have this challenge] I am open to the possibility that I can deeply and completely accept myself." This is just another way of approaching it.

DEBORAH CONTINUES: For some reason, my phone clients are especially receptive to this wording. I wonder if it's because we don't have the face-to-face contact and there may be issues about "being seen" that have not been addressed directly.

For my clients who don't think they deserve to accept themselves, or who don't think that it would ever be possible, or who express guilt about feeling content, I use "...I want to deeply and completely accept myself, even though I don't believe that right now." This usually leads to a laugh of self-awareness and a relaxation of the tension for the client.

Deborah Mitnick, LCSW-C


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