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Articles & Ideas

Using EFT

Suggestions for using EFT with a Mother

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to peruse our Free Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tutorial™ for a more complete understanding.

Hi Everyone,

Here is first class advice from Jan Luther for helping a loved one leave their worldly body. Many good ideas here.

Hugs, Gary

By Jan Luther

I recently received an email from a client whose mother was in hospice with Alzheimer’s.

Hi Jan. I got a call from my mother’s hospice nurse (my mother has Alzheimer's) and she has taken a turn for the worse and is "waiting" for me. So, I am off to be with her now. Is there EFT for someone dying that you would recommend?  I checked the archives, not much, but I know you deal with grief. Jan, can you give me some techniques to use on my mother, who is very scared of what is happening.  Her nurse tells me that Mother is saying "no one can comfort her." Thanks. Linda

Linda, Sending you warm and comforting hugs. If I were to assist you in this very important tapping opportunity, I would be aware of the three core elements of the situation.

1. You and how you are feeling about her passing

2. Mother- and her unique mental state

3. Both of you will have beliefs about life, death, God and afterlife.

Tap first for yourself:

  • How are you feeling about her transition?
  • Is there any shock or resistance to letting her go?
  • Do you have any regrets?
  • Are you stuck asking why?
  • What if any unfinished business about the past could you process and possibly forgive?
  • Clear your own anxieties. a calm heart and voice will bless you as you try to show up for her.

Then, meet Mom wherever she is:

  • What does she think is happening?
  • Ask her simple questions as you would a child.
  • What does she feel?
  • What is she thinking or imagining?

The objective is to help her "paint you a verbal picture" so that you can feel, see and imagine what she is experiencing,from her point of view. (OR she may want to draw you a literal picture?)

You mentioned that she said no "one can comfort her"... I would tap on that phrase maybe at the first meeting.

Even though I am believing that no one can comfort me… and I know that no one will try to comfort me if I don't want them to.

Even though I don't believe anyone can comfort me… and I am willing to forgive anyone that tries to comfort me.

Even though no one can comfort me… and I know that I could choose to feel comforted even if no one has been able to comfort me before.

Releasing - no one can comfort me

Releasing this idea that I cannot be comforted.

Allowing myself to feel relaxed and peaceful.

No one will take away my right to 'not be' comforted.

I have the right to choose to be comforted if I want to.

Maybe if I do it myself, they won't be such pets trying to comfort me.

I think you get the idea. Give her full permission to not be comforted so she does not have to defend her feelings so strongly.

She may not be cognitive enough to have any resistant thoughts.  If she does have any anxiety, try and be nonchalant as you tap:

I am safe... I am loved.

I am being guided.

And then when she is calm. I am safe to follow the light - (or whatever phrase fits your beliefs)

If she is not very conscious remember that she may still be experiencing fear on a spirit or physical level.

If she is still acting scared, if she can communicate, just ask her gently what is scary and tap her exact phrases. They may seem very child like, that is okay, just tap her words because they are where she is and that is what makes sense to her.

Another aspect to meeting her where she is might be dealing with left over anger at having had Alzheimer's.

Alzheimer's has a lot of its own "stuff".  You may want to surrogate tap for All this lonely time … All of my confused feelings … Feeling like nothing makes sense … Feeling like everyone bosses her around …Feeling like she does not know these people, this place.

Then it might help you to try and imagine what you would tap with a child facing "death". One of the biggest trees in this forest will be addressing the spiritual beliefs.

Many generations of Christians have been taught to fear God, to believe we must attain perfection before God will love us or accept us into heaven. I have had success with the reframe, if they are open to the idea, that if God is calling them home, He (she whatever is right for your Mother) must be missing her.

I'd use the metaphor of her being a Mother, how wonderful it is to know the children are coming home. Could God feel less love than that? Some additional starter phrases:

Even though my body may feel resistant. my spirit longs to be free…

Even though I love so many here… There are many that love me there too… Everyone here will be just fine.. (Saying this with a sigh)

Even though I am tempted to worry about my family there is nothing more for me to do here.

And then based upon her belief system:

God loves me...

God beckons me home..

Love is waiting for me..

I am safe to experience the joy of transition.

Even though I have made mistakes in this human experience and I might fear retribution, I ask for forgiveness from anyone that I have offended hurt or harmed in any way.

Even though I too have been hurt offended or perceived myself harmed, I choose to forgive everyone's mistakes that caused me ill feelings.

This is my perfect time.

All is well.

Angels are here to escort me. (Again it's really important to use language that fits her belief system)

I would even do a "visualization" tapping seeing the light, feeling the love, calling me home, releasing all pain, releasing all sorrows, releasing fear. Heaven awaits me. Seeing my loved ones. Feeling myself drawn gently into the light, releasing every judgment that holds be back from my perfect heaven.

I realize this is a lot of information.  I am hoping to cover a lot of basics for you.  I encourage you to trust your own intuition and remember to keep the tapping simple, just tap her phrases and don't strain to reframe anything.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you.




Explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT™, by reading my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™. More efficient. More powerful.