- Articles & Ideas
- Being Specific
- Ann Adams on BEING SPECIFIC
- Using NLP to Chunk Down for specifics in an EFT session
- The importance of being specific in the EFT Setup Phrase
- Find Early Specific Events
- How to apply EFT when there are no clear, specific memories to tap on
- Tapping on specific events without knowing what they are
- What to do when you can't find your own specific events or issues
- Two cases: (1) Being Specific and (2) Being General
- EFT for the Soul - global versus specific approaches
- How to collapse multiple SPECIFIC EVENTS in one Borrowing Benefits session
- EFT for a bashful bladder - a beautiful example of going for SPECIFIC EVENTS
- How to do Intentional (or Surrogate) EFT--a 4 Part Series
- Using surrogate EFT for easing a courtroom testimony
- A followup after a surrogate session in Albuquerque--Betsy's impressive results
- A touching story: Easing Mary's death through surrogate EFT
- Breathing problems, surrogate tapping, depression and Try it on Everything
- Surrogate tapping on an "Entity"
- After trying a different approach for Surrogate EFT, a crying baby quiets down
- Successful Surrogate EFT for Seizures
- Surrogate tapping on a sneezing attack, Successful use of EFT on a raspy throat AND arm wrestling success using only two fingers.
- Surrogate EFT relieves baby
- Some thoughts about surrogate (remote) EFT
- Resolving a family fight with surrogate EFT
- Surrogate tapping and collarbone breathing
- Helping Helpers: Using Surrogate EFT for Emergencies
- Surrogate tapping for terrorists
- Surrogate EFT Taken Another Step - Clearing Ancestral (Foundational) Issues
- Surrogate EFT for Chronic Pulmonary Obstruction Disorder
- Surrogate/distance tapping for Cassie the dog
- "Seeing" disrupted energy enhances mental (surrogate) tapping
- Solid motivation to use Surrogate EFT
- Surrogate EFT arrests a grand mal seizure
- Beth's Stalker Problem Resolved with Surrogate EFT
- Successful surrogate tapping for schizophrenic son
- Surrogate EFT to help patients going through medical procedures
- Responses to questions on surrogate muscle testing
- Simple uses of Surrogate EFT during every day conversations
- What to do in the hospital
- A surrogate EFT Teddy Bear became a special friend for a housebound woman
- Surrogate EFT substantially aids incontinence, anger, dementia and hearing loss.
- Skeptic of surrogate EFT becomes a believer
- Surrogate tapping stops serious nose bleed
- Surrogate EFT -- "The pain is leaving now through my fingertips."
- The Volcano Technique
- The Movie Technique for kinesthetic learners
- Behind the Scenes of the Movie Technique
- For procrastination: The "Feel the Feeling" Technique
- Creative Uses of The EFT Movie Technique
- Living your Dreams with The Hero Technique
- The Gratitude Diet - A Thanksgiving Technique
- Time and Reframing: An Easy Technique that Generates Fast Results
- The benefits of describing EFT as a relaxation technique
- A short version of the Collar Bone Breathing Technique
- Stepping back from the movie in the EFT Movie Technique
- Turning the Movie Technique into a cartoon helps with Dysautonomia episode
- Discovering "core scenes"
- EFT and the Double Bubble technique: Or how to successfully deal with chronic issues!
- Variations on EFT's Movie Technique
- Doing the EFT Constricted Breathing Technique a few times a day increased Paul
- The "Let it be Easy" Technique
- Everyday EFT to Create a Fabulous Life--The Emotional Joy Technique
- The Argument Tapping Technique
- Doing the EFT Movie Technique in slow motion -- getting to important and otherwise hidden aspects
- The Stepping into Neutral Technique
- The "Tap while you Gripe" Technique
- The EFT Imagineering Technique
- Gwyneth Moss's Imagineering Technique for Endometriosis
- The "Turbo-Tapping" Technique
- The Bundling Movie Technique for gently addressing long term abuse cases
- Refusal Tapping Technique
- Ideas on Muscle Testing, EFT and Developing Intuition
- Why do we use negatives in the EFT setup statement?
- Gwyneth Moss on Reality Testing
- The Alternate Phrase Technique--tapping on both sides of a conflict.
- Soft language to ease The EFT Set-Up Phrases
- Ideas for enhancing the standard EFT Setup
- How do I choose the phrases to use while doing EFT?
- A New Way to Use the
- A useful EFT phrase--"Reclaiming" all our possibilities
- How Do You Know What To Say For an EFT Setup Phrase?
- Testing our work and personal radiation
- Useful ways to expand the EFT Set-up Phrase
- Using "It's In Here" in the EFT Setup phrase
- Touch And Breathe--TAB Paper
- Using the 9 Gamut Procedure when emotion gets "stuck in the right brain"
- Jarrod Bailey from Australia experiments with EFT Setup Phrases and explains his findings
- Injecting "want to" into the EFT Setup language
- EFT Imagineering cleared lungs and improved breathing
- Tapping on both sides of the body, on feel-good points only, then taking deep breaths after each point
- The advantages of using the 9 Gamut Procedure
- EFT to clear chakras and increase vibration
- Using the EFT setup statement as a a pledge
- Dr. Carol Look discusses the importance of testing in EFT
- Effectively using "What if" in the EFT Setup Phrase
- A creative way to develop EFT Setup statements
- Testing your EFT work - The
- Adding muscle testing to EFT
- EFT for Self Confidence
- EFT for the lingering effects of a brain tumor from 12 years before
- Surrogate EFT for Yourself
- Self Image: An insightful look at the "Writings on our Walls"
- Developing self compassion with persistent EFT
- The 3-2-1 process: untangling yourself from others
- Mary Hunt on Intuition: Getting yourself out of the way.
- Thoughts on Surrogate EFT and "getting yourself out of the way"
- Frances Songhurst finally gets a rapid result for herself
- EFT helps a man look people in the eye
- Karen's thoughts on self forgiveness
- Freeing our "Critical Mind" into Self Acceptance with EFT
- Using "I love THAT about myself" in the EFT process
- Tapping on one's self talk--a great idea for collapsing our "inner critic"
- Anja shares her self-healing process
- Getting the most out of self-help books with EFT
- Self sabotage-healing the parts that don
- EFT gives relief to a self-cutter by first finding emotional causes
- Give Yourself a Gift by Creating an EFT Journal
- Resolving childhood issues with EFT increases compassion for self
- Billy McCombie self applies EFT for an impressive list of benefits
- S-L-O-W EFT for self help on broad issues
- When self acceptance becomes a problem...
- EFT for relief from feeling responsible for everyone else before taking care of self
- Tapping for negative self-talk - "I am unable to step out of it"
- Paradoxes in validating one's Self
- EFT improves self esteem
- Rue Hass on "I deeply and completely accept myself"
- The role of self-punishment in Dis-ease
- Steve Wells series on EFT and Self-Acceptance--Part 1 of 4--(subsequent parts given below)
- A Complex Case - Doubts and Self-empowerment - The Return of Hair and more
- Julie Howard uses EFT for being hard on herself
- EFT As a Conversation With Yourself
- Self acceptance without judgment
- An answer as to why some clients do not tap even when they know EFT will help them?
- Two successes where the client surrogate taps for other people--everyone benefits
- Tips to consider when you have had "incomplete success" with an EFT client
- Conversations with Dr. Mercola Part 3
- Do you attract clients that want everything for free?
- When should you consult an EFT Practitioner?
- The Apex Effect -- client cannot even remember the details of her former problem
- Dr. Patricia Carrington's use of "Choices" in the EFT Setup Phrase
- Rebecca Marina's 10 steps to building a prosperous EFT practice
- When The Client Wishes To Maintain Privacy
- EFT Successfully Collapses Childhood Beliefs About Food -- Client Stops Overeating
- Enhancing the life of Burak -- a Down Syndrome client
- Using EFT for the client who feels bad about herself
- 8 tips for building your EFT practice with email newsletters
- Conversations with Dr. Mercola -- Part 4 of 7
- EFT Clients!
- Kinetic tremor disappears as Turkish MD addresses client's emotional issues
- 7 Step pre-tapping checklist for client work
- When the client won't speak about the issue
- Helping clients by using "Meta Programs"
- EFT from a CLIENT'S POINT OF VIEW
- Hair dresser helps client raise her arm - The salon clients cheered
- How to search for an EFT Practitioner
- The client who is "Never Good Enough" and The Brick Wall Technique
- Doing EFT for the client that is afraid to get started
- How this therapist uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and EFT together
- Conversations with Dr. Mercola -- Part 5 of 7
- Improving results with dissociated clients
- What Questions Should You Ask When Seeking An EFT Practitioner?
- Thoughts on following your EFT intuition with clients
- Dr. Pat Carrington's "EFT At Work In A Hospital" Series
- Client has Somatic Release that involved shaking in a seizure-like fashion
- How to Build Your EFT Practice by Leveraging Your Biggest Resource
- Physical therapy like it should be--dramatic improvements in a rehab center
- When clients get overwhelmed or frustrated with EFT
- When clients can
- Conversations with Dr. Mercola -- Part 6 of 7
- Tips for when clients have difficulty accessing their feelings
- EFT Speeds Rehabilitation and Physical Therapy: Irene Mitchell Update
- How To Tell In Advance Whether An EFT Practitioner Has Sufficient Skill in EFT
- How to use EFT when the client won't reveal the issue
- Curtis Steele, MD shares his thoughts and experiences using EFT in a psychiatric practice
- Good reasons for using an EFT Practitioner
- Ingrid Dinter's Box Technique for helping a client wind down when time is running out in a session
- EFT used to calm down a client during a severe seizure episode
- Working through the pain and fear in the midst of divorce
- EFT'er encourages clients to find their favorite EFT points
- Conversations with Dr. Mercola -- Part 7 of 7
- The Emotional Scale in EFT Practice
- Hearing voices and multiple issues relieved: "One session of EFT does more for me than years of [conventional] therapy ever could."
- Is Your Chosen EFT Practitioner Really Helping You?
- Some thoughts about doing EFT with multilingual clients
- What stops clients from pursuing their dreams?
- Surrogate EFT used to calm down a bi-polar client
- Why see an EFT practitioner?
- Fitting EFT within the client's belief system
- Limiting beliefs may limit your EFT practice
- Making A Great Impression With Your New EFT Client
- Conversations with Dr. Mercola - Part 1 of 7
- EFT with a schizophrenic client
- A detailed EFT oriented session via email for a client with serious issues
- The Pros and Cons of EFT Telephone Therapy
- Did EFT help Gayla's client reduce the blockage in his arteries?
- Surrogate EFT brings calming effect to Schizophrenic client
- Yet another impressive use of Surrogate EFT--this time an audience sends the client out of the room and taps for her
- The Many Factors Affecting Client Motivation and Follow Through
- If the client starts shaking...
- If your client believes that the world is run by a red elephant....
- What to do when your client is beset by an "evil monster"
- Using EFT to create positive self beliefs for a client who deems herself "not good enough"
- 4 Part Series on Helping Clients with their 0-10 Accuracy
- Psychosis: Hearing Voices--EFT achieves more in one session than 13 years of medications and traditional therapy.
- Karen Donaldson Highlights Some "Slimming Down" Successes With Her Clients -- Many Side Issues Explored
- Adding EFT to conventional talk therapy
- EFT aids an "energy sensitive" client
- Criminal defense attorney uses EFT to help innocent client during cross-examination
- Conversations with Dr. Mercola -- Part 2 of 7
- EFT and Time Line Therapy helps 92 year old man live in the now
- How do I use EFT for the client who has many, many, many severe issues?
- Listening to this client's words led to a surprising core issue
- Successful Surrogate EFT for a Cerebral Palsy client
- Profuse bleeding stops even though client was on Coumadin (blood thinner)
- Shaking Off Negative Client Energies Between Sessions
- Core Issues
- Ilana Weiler uses the 7 Whys method for getting to core issues
- MD resolves arm weakness problem by relieving an emotional core issue
- Two examples where core issues show up during an EFT session
- A Useful Way To Find Core Issues In The EFT Process
- A surprising core issue behind business call reluctance
- Using the Palace of Possibilities to uncover core issues
- The "Audio Technique" for getting to core issues
- A clever way to find core issues
- Eliminating Hot Flashes With EFT Tapping -- Surprising Core Issues
- Tracing core issues back to the birth process
- Blending Redecision Therapy with EFT--a creative way to uncover core issues
- Iris finds her own core issue
- Getting To Feelings And Core Issues By Imagining You Are Writing A Story - A Version Of The EFT Tell The Story Technique
- An Impressive Search For EFT Core Issues -- Asking The Right Questions
- The "7 Whys" method for getting to core issues
- When "insignificant" childhood events are the real core issues
- In Search Of An Elusive EFT Core Issue
- Finding An EFT Core Issue -- "But What Did He Give You?"
- A self questioning method for getting to your core issues
- An extraordinary account of tapping on a prenatal core issue -- or how to change a life in moments
- Finding and Dealing with Core Events
- Barbara shares an insightful way to find core issues
- An excellent question to help find core issues
- Collapsing the core issues of procrastination with EFT
- A classic case for finding a core issue
- Finding core issues when someone is emotionally flat lining
- The core issue behind Carl's inability to "perform"
- A clever method for finding core issues
- Obsession with having affairs ends after finding the core issue
- Why Cathy didn't enjoy Christmas--an embarrassing core event
- Using Tail Enders to find core issues
- Two Newcomer EFT Tapping Successes: Fainting And Shyness
- A newbie dropped pounds at a time she usually gained
- Relative Newbie's First Major Tapping Toe Stub - Foot Pain Issue
- Newbie quiets her daughter
- Doing EFT for a newcomer without having to explain it
- Easy and Effective EFT for Newcomers
- Newbie has great results with persistent hiccoughs!
- Borrowing Benefits newcomer details impressive success
- EFT Newcomer Helps Her Daughter Relieve Constipation
- Quality advice for EFT Newbies
- How watching the EFT DVDs helped a nausea case
- EFT newbie successfully surrogates for her dying plant
- A newbie with 6 rounds of EFT eliminates her bladder infection pain
- Using EFT
- Using EFT with a dementia patient: A touching story
- Using EFT over the phone
- Using EFT for bothersome noises
- Using EFT to easily learn another language
- Benefits of using EFT in a cardiac group
- Tapping on TREEs -- a metaphor for using EFT
- Using EFT for the "Grey Life Syndrome"
- Using EFT to resolve issues in your dreams
- Using EFT with massage
- Using EFT within a unique form of meditation
- Using EFT for a stroke and other issues -- In praise of the 9-gamut procedure
- Using EFT to eliminate recurring dreams
- Using EFT for Self-Doubt
- Using EFT to say Good-Bye to a dying person
- Using EFT to release "the decision to be miserable"
- Using EFT for the Inner Child
- Using EFT for Abundance releases limiting beliefs
- Using EFT to rejuvenate a withered plant
- Using EFT for Procrastination
- Marielle discovers a lifetime core issue while using EFT for a bad cough
- Using EFT for the side effects of Medications
- Using EFT for feeling like a failure
- Using EFT for cerebral palsy
- Using EFT for emphysema
- Using EFT to build emotional strength in overwhelming circumstances
- Using EFT for Menopause, Hot flashes and Chills
- Using EFT for Scleroderma
- Using EFT for preventing illness
- Using EFT for Self-Confidence in a specific area
- Using EFT for overcoming procrastination
- Personal Pleasure Procedure - Using EFT to improve your romantic life
- Using EFT for a double ankle sprain
- Using EFT to advance your business
- Using EFT for world crises
- Using EFT for clearing poltergeist energy
- After using EFT, Paul's 84 year old mum recovered very quickly from a surgical operation
- Using EFT for a choking emergency
- Using EFT to neutralize "family differences"
- Using EFT to release the pain of saying goodbye
- Using EFT for clearing clutter and organizing your life
- Using EFT to increase blood platelet count--an article with far reaching implications
- Using EFT for old and frail people
- Easy stress reducer using EFT with statements like, "The world is conspiring in my favor"
- 11 year old girl finds lost cell phone using EFT
- Using EFT for our illiterate and semi-literate brothers and sisters
- Using EFT for struggling students with ADD
- Using EFT to Trade the Market
- A successful case of using EFT for candida yeast infections
- Persistence worked when using EFT at the first signs of a cold
- Using EFT for an ailing pony
- Using EFT for wrinkles - An alternative to Botox?
- Using EFT to overcome the resistance to exercise
- Using EFT while you are in an argument
- Using EFT for Chronic Problems
- Heaviness in both legs disappears after using EFT on "These Growing Pains"
- Some thoughts on using EFT for personal peace
- Using EFT for the Holidays
- Using EFT for Poison Ivy
- Using EFT over the phone for on-the-spot issues
- Thoughts on using EFT for procrastination
- Using EFT for "Everything is my fault!"
- A guy thing: Tips on using EFT for male ED
- Using EFT for Tachycardia
- Using EFT for Chemotherapy symptoms
- An encouraging example of using EFT for Crohn's Disease
- Using EFT for Alzheimer's disease
- Many benefits in 3 months using EFT's Personal Peace Procedure
- Using EFT for Muscular Dystrophy
- Some tips when using EFT by yourself
- Using EFT to bring up core memories
- Using EFT for Herpes
- Using EFT on Asperger
- How to Handle Self Sabotage by Using EFT
- Using EFT from pre-birth to the present
- Using EFT to enhance persuasion skills
- Using EFT with our "internal parents"
- Using EFT for spiritual issues
- Using EFT to Create
- Success by using EFT while reading our Newsletter articles
- A subtle, yet powerful self-image benefit from using EFT
- Suggestions for using EFT with a Mother
- Using EFT to avert an amputation
- A method for using EFT regarding the "difficult people" in your life.
- Using EFT to relieve a cold sore (Herpes HSV-1)
- Using EFT to learn foreign language pronunciation
- Specific couple techniques using EFT
- Using EFT for Jet Lag--even with 4 time changes
- Using EFT to manifest your goal more easily
- Using EFT with a Skeptic
- Using EFT for Premature Ejaculation
- Using EFT with computers, web-cameras and microphones
- Using EFT to cut "energetic cords" of attachment to people
- Using EFT for Goal Setting
- Using EFT for motivation to exercise
- Using EFT to avoid tears while chopping onions
- Using EFT to reclaim our personal power
- Using EFT for inanimate objects may point to your own issues
- Using EFT to Enhance Bedroom Romance
- Using EFT to find (and collapse) a limiting belief
- Using EFT for mother issues
- Using EFT for Plantar Fasciitis
- Using EFT with a Survivor of Domestic Violence
- Using EFT to better enjoy certain foods and expand sensory experience
- Using EFT for forgiveness
- Using EFT with A Course in Miracles teachings
- Using EFT for racial prejudice
- Lifelong car sickness disappears--but only after using EFT on the real issue
- Using EFT to bring us back into balance during challenging situations
- Using EFT for a clogged ear
- Follow up on "Using EFT to avert an amputation"
- Using EFT for Trigeminal Neuralgia
- Using EFT for changing habits and more
- Using EFT in singing lessons
- Passing a driving test using EFT - a case with many aspects
- Using EFT for your Biggest Problem
- Ideas for those using EFT to further their own personal development
- Using EFT on imaginary parts
- Classic case of using EFT for the child within
- Using EFT for Dreamwork
- Using EFT for Marathon Training and difficult things to do
- Using EFT when a specific word triggers you
- Using EFT to support the In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) process
- Using EFT to regain Laurence's sense of taste.
- Big benefits from using EFT on an "irrelevant memory"
- Tips and strategies for using EFT with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)
- Using EFT to reduce our judgment of others
- Using EFT in the Emergency Room: Raging bladder infection subsides
- Q & A Series on using EFT
- Using EFT to start the day
- Tapping while responding to a nasty comment from the past
- EFT for looking forward instead of backwards
- How Do You Know You Are Benefiting From EFT Much As You Can?
- EFT and the taming of the tongue
- Gwyneth Moss on The Importance of Rehearsal in an EFT session
- How do you feel ABOUT your body having pain?
- Was this a negative reaction to EFT?
- Many benefits from tapping on a prayer
- Future tapping to get what you want
- How to get EFT into Schools
- EFT collapses seasickness and Rosa becomes the life of the party
- What is your body trying to tell you?
- An extraordinary example of the real power of EFT's Borrowing Benefits procedure -- a bridge phobia disappears "behind the scenes"
- EFT for past life issues
- EFT for Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) and a host of other issues
- Prenatal EFT improves hemoglobin count with before and after test
- Getting to the real reason behind Janet's "bedroom inhibitions"
- Tapping on gratitude for EFT
- After EFT, Kay
- A procedure for dealing with the resistance to heal
- To Lead or Not to Lead...
- Looking waaay in the past for the cause of a physical symptom
- Overcoming a lifelong fruit revulsion and some side benefits
- One person
- EFT is effective despite language barriers
- Shingle symptoms gone in just two EFT sessions
- Two examples where working on one issue provides relief for another
- Important EFT topic: Doing the best we can
- Useful thoughts on integrating EFT within the military
- Eckhart Tolle
- Daily uses of EFT with A Course in Miracles (ACIM)
- EFT for helping a mother bond with her child
- How EFT unclogged my toilet
- The Inner Committee
- Can we affect inanimate objects better with EFT? - Rebecca's engine light
- A humorous reply to an EFT skeptic
- EFT enhances math scores
- Praise for EFT from a Buddhist Monk
- EFT calms an autistic boy in school
- Cognitive Shifts (Belief Changes) That Work
- EFT: The Gift to Unwrap and Use before the Holidays!
- Another successful hiccoughs (hiccups) case
- Did EFT help relieve menopause symptoms?
- EFT for addressing what happened in your day -- use it daily for solid long term benefits
- EFT for economic stress -- using "I prefer peace"
- A Psychologist in India uses EFT for suicide intervention
- Demonstrating EFT to a mental health support team
- How to remember your dreams with EFT
- New Uses for EFT
- EFT helps alleviate several issues associated with infidelity
- Using Galvanic Skin Response to validate EFT
- NLP procedures enhance anyone's delivery of EFT
- "Helpless to get what I want" - Using intuition to get at important issues
- MD writes article on Emotions, Energy, and Healing
- Tapping on "what didn
- An aneurism left a man's hand shaking, unable to write for 12 years.
- How to use EFT with your dreams to collapse important emotional issues
- Resolving two bothersome tics with EFT
- Saying "goodbye" with the
- An at risk coronary patient has normal arteries and flawless angiogram after persistent EFT for two months
- Food stuck in the throat goes down easily after EFT
- In Praise of Continual Tapping
- Scientific evolution of EFT from TFT
- Does EFT compete with God?
- How to Get Into Businesses and Organizations By Getting Welcomed Through the Back Door
- EFT on the move -- for busy people
- EFT for Speech Loss following a Stroke
- Discovering the cause of humming in the ears
- EFT's Borrowing Benefits collapses 36 issues in 2.5 hours
- Problems that are difficult to assess in the here and now. (Several responses follow)
- A tapping tip to lighten the load
- Borrowing Benefits gets impressive results on TV
- Re-evaluating the Apex problem
- Handling vertigo symptoms over the phone
- A metaphor for introducing EFT
- EFT in a plane for scary facial paralysis - a doctor on board said it was Bell
- EFT enhances the "Artist's Way" work
- Do we need to heal the past so that we can move into the future?
- Are you getting the most out of EFT?
- The benefits of tapping along with our DVDs--core memories uncovered
- Allowing EFT to come THROUGH you rather than BY you
- How to know when the healing is done
- Clearing past issues from the walls of our mind
- The ABC approach to EFT
- Ideas for winding up EFT sessions
- Metaphors, Humour and EFT
- Use EFT when you are afraid to speak up
- Success via tapping on a two-sided conflict
- Validating EFT with Neurofeedback
- Did EFT clear a 90% blocked artery?
- After 9 years suffering with polycystic ovary syndrome, Jenn finds relief with EFT
- EFT for forgetting lines in a school play
- EFT for calming while being strapped down on a hospital gurney
- Acupuncturist uses EFT and eliminates her own shingles in three days
- For those who have difficulty telling left from right
- Marketing EFT as a business--Cultivating important Centers of Influence (COI)
- Learning, intelligence and "emotional static"
- Psychiatric Nurse gives pointers for dealing with severe emotional disorders
- Thoughts on an emergency tapping point
- The value of taking dead aim at the negatives
- Circumcision at the root of writer's block
- The Salesman who didn't want to cold call
- Try EFT on everything--even an oncoming fainting spell
- EFT helps an 8 year old with a concussion
- Am I a failure at EFT if there is no miracle?
- Surprising insights than can occur while tapping
- Healing families with EFT - a historical approach
- A physicist speaks
- Why couldn't Jason make a simple decision?
- A New Way to Express Gratitude with EFT
- Resolving many impediments to a satisfactory "bedroom experience"
- Sometimes slowing down EFT can provide quality benefits
- MD uses EFT to clear many issues in 15 minutes
- A simple way to handle Shingles -- no drugs involved
- EFT for severe MSG reaction
- Finding the real issues behind what appeared to be a "Bedroom Romance" problem
- Clever use of EFT clears issues for baby, mother and grandmother - follow-up included
- Did Mary
- Calming effects of EFT during an emergency on an airplane
- EFT brings benefits for leaky gut syndrome and ASD (a form of autism)
- EFT clears nausea - but not in the expected way
- Stronger orgasms with EFT
- Persistence and EFT homework help a woman embrace her femininity
- A quality use of our Borrowing Benefits DVDs
- Some thoughts on secondary gains - and what to do about them
- Including the word
- EFT improves hearing by 25%
- Successful EFT without knowing the details
- Psychiatrist gets to the real reason his patient couldn't say "NO"
- An EFT Meditation
- Critical Questioning While Doing EFT
- MD uses EFT to treat Sjogren
- Many successes doing
- Jo Huntsman takes EFT into her own hands and has success with Lupus like symptoms
- Susan de Tarr eliminates her 54 year old motion sickness in 10 minutes
- How to convince an entire audience about EFT
- Psychiatrist relieves sexual exhibitionism with EFT--4 year follow-up
- Emotion and Perception: EFT makes it a two way street
- EFT on an inanimate object: The car that wouldn't start
- Combining EFT with Humor
- EFT helps remove "stuck ring"
- Key Concepts in Mastering EFT
- Borrowing Benefits in the Criminal Justice System
- The "proper words" to use for the EFT Set-up Statement
- Borrowing Benefits hastens the healing of mystery thumb sores
- Breaking habits
- Relaxing a dying man
- We are babes crawling on the floor of the Universe
- EFT relieves an unusual
- How I grew my bustline with EFT
- An 8 year old boy with very strange eating habits finds a new menu with EFT
- Jeff Lipnick uses EFT to keep from blacking out
- EFT, ED and related bedroom issues
- Daily tapping lowers blood sugar
- Borrowing Benefits while watching The EFT Course
- Who do YOU think you are?
- Headache relief over the phone
- Claude improves his fishing
- Using humor with EFT
- How to handle a "vague feeling" with EFT
- Eight Easy Ways to Remember to Do EFT
- Tapping to improve your intuition
- The acute sinusitis case that wouldn't budge until....
- It's never too late to clear useless childhood beliefs
- EFT for the emotional aspects of a Cesarean Section
- Ten steps to changing your limiting responses to a falling economy
- EFT for stammering
- Dr. Barr used EFT after cutting off the tip of his thumb
- Judi thinks that doing EFT for others helped her - winning in Las Vegas
- Borrowing Benefits with EFT improves communication at a committee meeting
- Thoughts about inheriting illness from our ancestors
- Twelve years of facial numbness eliminated with 2 rounds of EFT
- A Lesson in EFT Intuition--Letting it flow through you
- EFT brings relief for ALS
- How to tell others about EFT
- Some thoughts on when to use "I choose" vs. "I prefer"
- EFT for changing entrenched habits
- Experts point to dramatic changes in brain waves as a result of EFT
- Continuous tapping resolves an intense abreaction
- Did 20 minutes of EFT straighten bones that had knitted improperly 50 years before?
- EFT and the right to be happy
- EFT for feeling unqualified to be successful
- EFT relieves a case of the Hiccups
- EFT for facing those who caused you pain
- Did EFT bring this man out of a coma?
- "It was impossible for the testicle to descend on its own."
- The Merits of Daily Tapping
- Is it safe to change?
- Processing your life's key words with EFT
- Brain dumping with EFT to get started on global issues
- EFT helps salesman double his sales
- An EFT Procrastination case
- From a 38 B to a 38 D/DD while losing 20 pounds
- Thoughts on Psychological Reversal from Rue Hass -- with an ADD example
- Gratitude tapping
- EFT in Kenya
- Are you suppressing your EFT talents?
- EFT as a cure for boredom
- Improving intimate moments with EFT
- Dispersing 50 years worth of suppressed emotion
- A brief heat exhaustion case
- Messages from an oven
- How Dawn Norton used EFT to collapse her own "horror" issue
- Five-for-one benefits from an introductory EFT group
- Making EFT a routine
- Using "Inner Dialogues" with EFT
- Wisdom from Mair Llewellyn regarding the "Writing on our Walls"
- Incorporating EFT into Corporate Programs
- EFT -- a quality aid for Shingles
- Strong correlation found between EFT and Dr. Emoto's work with water
- EFT and The Power of Reframing
- EFT and insights (cognitive change)
- Giving more meaning to the 0-10 intensity rating
- MD Applies EFT to Successfully Relieve Urethral Pain
- Borrowing Benefits: My Jury has returned with a verdict
- How to Identify and Correct Psychological Reversals
- Dr. Carol Look's Top 10 Tapping Tips
- How do I introduce EFT to skeptics? (Building Bridges to Believability)
- Why do people resist EFT?
- What would happen if this problem wasn't there any more?
- EFT removes a pesky "phantom itch"
- Tips for conducting intensive EFT sessions -- a several day case regarding Bulimia
- Create acceptance of your life with EFT
- Clearing a food aversion in 5 minutes
- What would appear to be the main issue may not be so
- How long should the flu last?
- EFT for making your voice stronger
- A new kind of mosquito relief?
- Try fork bending with EFT
- A clever approach to finding core memories
- An adventure within the Palace of Possibilities
- Injured toe gains relief using two important EFT concepts
- Sarah Jordan makes progress after realizing a childhood need
- Aiming EFT at our Future
- What to do when the "Bedroom Spark" goes out
- Tap on experiences that are stuck in parts of your body
- The young woman who kept quitting her jobs
- How to create empowering reframes (seeing things differently) with EFT
- Praise for tapping along with the EFT DVDs
- EFT for a spider (and mosquito) bite
- EFT helps Elaine learn the clarinet at 50
- Two stories to create a bridge between your audience and EFT
- Two cases: Putting on needed pounds with EFT & Holding water for an ultrasound
- Mom doing EFT for autistic son yields enormous changes in one month
- A touching story about Michael, his ailing aunt and EFT
- Letting intuition flow with EFT
- A lesson in "letting go"
- Can we learn to be grateful no matter what?
- Improve your EFT sessions by waking up your senses
- Severe lung congestion clears with persistent daily EFT
- Was prostate cancer really the cause of Sam's Low Libido?
- EFT for the Sensitive Person -- Awakening the Wild Pony Within
- EFT helps release nervousness before an important meeting
- Impressive results with autism
- Releasing chaotic behavior through EFT
- EFT hat dance
- Deserving to live -- an intense memory resolved
- EFT helps with hair loss, facial blemishes, hay fever, smoking and PMS
- Expert gives us an inside look at Group EFT
- Baerbel Borrows Benefits in her own EFT group and dissolves her creative blocks
- When EFT Doesn't Seem to Work
- Motion sickness averted through "Chasing the Pain."
- More on EFT and Reframing by Tania Prince
- Consistent and Impressive results from EFT group work
- Gordon was in a psychiatric hospital for two years and was released two weeks after one EFT session
- How feelings in the body are related to emotional clearing
- EFT for the Inner Child
- EFT for food poisoning
- Two cases of doing EFT in public without looking silly
- Improving romantic openness and enjoyment with EFT
- EFT for Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) - "You can't make me!"
- EFT brings beauty to a hospice setting
- EFT collapses competing thoughts and thus aids The Law of Attraction
- How to transform disappointment into gratitude
- EFT Question Tapping
- Helping a 97 year old man to die peacefully
- Successful EFT phone work makes major shifts for overwhelmed mother
- Thoughts on resolving difficult physical problems
- A unique way to expand EFT
- Finding the root of the problem
- Thoughts on dealing with corporations
- MD provides secretary with "The Incredible Shrinking Hemorrhoids"
- Lindsay Kenny answers Frequently Asked Questions about EFT
- About Voice Technology...
- EFT and sex
- A "Hard to Swallow" case
- Healing the "Missing Mother Syndrome" with EFT
- Borrowing Benefits from Sacramento to the United Kingdom
- Quadriplegic feels "bubbles" during EFT session
- When you are in traffic and REALLY have to pee....
- Many benefits from watching our EFT-Beyond the Basics DVDs
- Technical evidence of the link between emotional causes and physical ailments
- Borrowing Benefits and an Acute Respiratory Disorder
- Attracting Abundance by Shifting Your Energy
- A solid "Doing Business with EFT" idea from Rebecca Marina
- Emphatic EFT dramatically shifts many things--use this on stubborn issues
- EFT for eliminating barriers to our psychic abilities (and intuition)
- Using onomatopoeias with EFT
- Roxy gets multiple "Bedroom O's" with EFT
- EFT for severe cerebral palsy
- Rue Hass blends EFT with the wisdom of
- A woman with scoliosis finds balance with EFT - follow-up included
- EFT and Ho'oponopono
- Blood improves after a few minutes of EFT
- Thoughts on mental tapping and reframing
- Tapping back your sense of taste when you have a cold or flu
- Feeling and observing emotions
- EFT engages inner child to relieve indigestion (dyspepsia).
- Eric no longer hears voices
- EFT assists Polio patient
- EFT for eliminating hiccups changes a skeptic
- EFT eases nausea
- EFT is helpful when you are afraid to speak up in bed
- How racism can lead to health problems and what to do about it
- EFT helps a Premature Ejaculation (PE) problem
- Laura Orchard uses EFT during a dream
- Bedroom frustration resolved - including follow-ups
- Suzanne Lerner gives her thoughts on diagnosis
- Building confidence and releasing the inner critic
- Nothing in my traditional medical training in Anatomy, Physiology or Pathology even hinted at what I am now witnessing (with EFT) - Chuck Gebhardt, MD
- More successful cases from Dr. Eric Robins
- Can EFT tele-classes cause problems for some participants?
- EFT approaches for "Loose Ligaments" that can apply to countless other issues
- Asking good questions to elicit tappable issues
- EFT for elderly people who stuff their feelings
- EFT with hypnosis provides long term benefits for abandonment issue
- Have you noticed the important feedback you get while doing EFT?
- Leslie Anne Lackman successfully uses humor and takes aim at neuropeptides
- EFT for disliking someone shifts resentments to acceptance -- a major result
- Combining EFT with Dialoguing for impressive results
- Did Karen
- EFT for those who grind their teeth
- Healing the wounded Inner Child with EFT
- EFT after a horrible nightmare
- 25 Ways to be a Fantastic Therapist
- Knocking down the negative walls to let the garden grow - a tale of fertility
- Using movies to enhance and test our work.
- When Your Intensity Level Goes UP Instead Of Down With EFT
- Combining EFT with Timelines
- 10 minutes of EFT put 10 years of Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS) to rest
- EFT stops a blood blister from forming
- Taking the edge off intense emotions--Putting them in a box and tapping on them
- Tapping with good photos and bad photos
- Improving the ability to laugh with EFT
- A tapping song
- EFT on autopilot
- EFT resolves limiting childhood beliefs
- Medical transcriptionist says that in thousands of serious medical cases, she never saw a cure for anyone
- A short woman no longer feels intimidated around tall people after one EFT session
- Tapping along with a prayer
- Rapid Relief for Herpes
- Peak Performance Series
- Interview with Gary regarding EFT and yeast problems
- I simply could not dance with Gary!!
- This is simply priceless to a mother of a 16 year old
- A Useful Method for "Private Tapping"
- Why do we sometimes avoid tapping?
- Resolving emotional causes for erectile dysfunction
- EFT substantially aids swallowing problem
- Methods for working with pain
- Borrowing Benefits for a seemingly unrelated issue
- Questions on PR as well as possible dangers. (Other responses follow)
- Tuning in to the problem
- EFT in Daily Life
- Cold Calling: "I'm a second-class citizen, and I have to keep my mouth shut!"
- It is your response that counts.
- Improve your success rate by asking the right questions
- An MD successfully uses EFT on a Hiatal Hernia and Candidiasis
- Technical article: Influencing peptides with EFT
- Can You Influence Another Person To Use EFT If They Are Reluctant To Do So?
- EFT for faulty beliefs
- EFT and Reframing using Counter-Examples
- What do you do for friends who incessantly bend your ear while venting their problems?
- EFT for people who go blank when asked to speak
- EFT for sciatica and a 6 year old wounded thumb
- EFT helps a young musician stop shaking
- Tapping with a poem as inspiration
- EFT helps a boy who has many health challenges
- Barb St. Dennis had severe Hepatitis C but now has completely normal blood tests
- Using a metaphor to handle stubborn emotional issues
- Treating negative beliefs with EFT
- Who do YOU think you are?
- An EFT method for installing new behaviors
- Two ways to use EFT for Restless Leg Syndrome
- Did EFT cure Lupus?
- Insights on Borrowing Benefits with EFT
- Hearing the energy shift while doing EFT
- A clever combination of tapping and visualization
- Introducing EFT to kids by way of their "magic fingers"
- EFT for Celiac disease -- no symptoms for 4 months and counting
- EFT and "being the bee"
- EFT helps a serious infection - the redness subsides before their eyes
- EFT for the mental game of poker
- Methods for getting to deep issues, even in a group setting
- Using silent tapping in cases where speaking out loud is too loony
- Taking "The Secret" for a walk with EFT
- Removing the blocks to your goals with EFT
- Manifesting the life of your dreams with EFT
- Can EFT be used to manifest what you want in your life?
- Inner Child Expert uses EFT for her own healing
- Symptoms quickly fade for a child with a Bi-Polar Diagnosis
- The "Gratitude for My Mistakes" method
- Professional writer uses EFT to overcome writer's block
- EFT helps a bullied woman stay at her job
- Talking to Christians About EFT
- Warming up to "cold calls" with EFT
- An interesting way to do EFT in a group
- EFT for discomfort with networking - an interesting solution
- The Value of Matching and Pacing Belief Systems in Group Training
- Do you have difficulty receiving positive feelings from others?
- A Conversation With Your Body
- EFT provides benefits using Future Tapping
- A New Moment in Science -- useful EFT article for distribution
- What the Bleep do We Know about EFT?
- Curse words aid the clearing of emotional issues
- The Human Brain and Law of Attraction: Optimizing Brain Function with EFT
- Try a motivational Power Hour to improve your business
- Let it be easy
- Banishing the Barriers to having a thriving EFT business
- How to handle emotions about the cheating spouse
- Cascade tapping
- EFT turned Masha into a runner - an interesting side effect
- 200 people watch as EFT improves Range of Motion for a Nurse's arm
- Blending NLP with EFT
- More thoughts about stopping colds with EFT
- A clever "Chasing the Pain" case
- Acupuncturist gives his view of EFT and Classical Chinese Medical Aspects
- Thoughts on EFT and Intention
- EFT methods for "Smokers Lung" that apply to most chronic conditions
- Can EFT fix a computer?
- Feeling woosy from Alcohol
- Erica gets a complete overhaul through EFT
- A common sense procedure for getting EFT results
- A Useful Series on Borrowiing Benefits
- EFT methods: Questions, One-Point-EFT and Mental EFT
- Tapping via typing--email sessions
- The Vibration of Abundance
- MD uses EFT for common colds and canker sores
- Rhythm, Pulse & Percussion In Tapping Treatments
- 3 Items and some Holiday advice
- Phobia relief on TV in the UK
- EFT appears favorably in a German TV sitcom
- Gwyneth Moss discusses Support for Therapists
- Collapsing a lifelong belief that her mother had tried to harm her in the womb
- How do you do EFT to fit a time slot?
- Clearing clutter for clarity and confidence
- "God Tapping"
- Loving your feminine body
- Having trouble "letting go" in the bedroom
- Getting EFT Blocks and Barriers out of the way - a list of questions
- EFT fixes car to pass inspection
- Ted Robinson's tips for doing Borrowing Benefits groups
- Visualizing and tapping on limiting beliefs
- Ann Adams on getting EFT accepted by Institutions
- Eliminating shingles pain in 1/2 hour
- Why People Sometimes Have Negative Feelings After Doing EFT
- Tapping while traveling can improve your mood
- EFT calms elderly woman
- For the skeptics--Is EFT a placebo?
- Marie's "molestation secret"
- Persistent EFT helps with unnecessary worry and a feeling of always being responsible -- many side issues collapse as well
- A very useful method for getting to important issues
- EFT for an aversion to stuff that disgusts you
- Karen helped her father recover the use of his fingers after a stroke
- EFT for feeling overly responsible
- Tell your friends, there is, at last, a cure for the common cold!
- Positively adjusting the perceptions of others with EFT
- A clever combo of EFT and Essences
- Paralysis finally overcome after everything else failed
- An important case on aspects--Martin's learning challenge
- EFT relieves "incurable" Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS)
- How a physician uses EFT
- EFT for Boredom and Loneliness
- Low Libido is not always as simple as it appears
- Facial paralysis clears in one
- EFT for the complexities of a single, dating life
- Dawson Church successfully applies EFT for his episode of gout
- Persistent, quality EFT adds 5 inches to Gillian's bust line
- Taking EFT into the Corporate Market
- Did EFT keep Wayne from getting more grey hair?
- Expanding Your Comfort Zones: The key to your success
- Ten minutes of EFT restores healthy performance in the bedroom - eliminates the need for the little blue pill
- Resolving nightmares...and more
- Aiming EFT at the FUTURE
- A journey through an important piece of our "newthink."
- Addressing the "Why Bother?" syndrome
- Creating a happy future
- How to have a happy day
- An experiment on how EFT statements affect our bodies
- Three possible reframes for people struggling with sadness
- Did Erika
- Tap while listening to music that makes you cry
- EFT helps calm an autistic boy after he accidentally hurt his mother
- Untangling two events with EFT leads to business freedom
- Louise's skeptical dad warmed up to EFT
- Tapping for the United Nations
- EFT helps with repulsed feelings about unwanted advances
- EFT assists conception
- Using Role Playing With EFT
- MD uses EFT for a demented woman
- Gayle Waxon learns to stop her own epileptic seizures with EFT
- Does language matter when doing EFT?
- Using the term "somehow..." within the EFT process
- Blending EFT with Homeopathy
- A quality look at "The Apex Effect"
- Psychiatrist relieves sexual exhibitionism with EFT--4 year follow-up
- Tap and be rich
- EFT helps relieve blushing
- Quickie pain relief--A "one point wonder".
- Helping mother and her unborn baby with EFT
- Daily EFT creates calm under explosive family circumstances
- Creating a remarkable bridge to our former history
- Here's a textbook EFT case for using persistence, reframes, chasing the pain, metaphors and creative language
- Carol Look Shows us How to Release Procrastination with EFT
- Helpful hints for the Holidays.
- EFT and visible changes in physical appearance
- EFT assists young boy in taking his Ringworm medicine
- EFT works for cellulitis on 3 separate occasions
- Connecting to our Birthright of Fertility
- How to tap into the
- Tapping for being "able, willing and worthy" may help boost EFT results
- Creating positive affirmations with EFT and your senses
- EFT for painful menopause symptoms
- An interesting EFT approach for getting beyond "glass ceilings"
- EFT using teddy bears
- Victoria's 10-day EFT blood pressure experiment results
- EFT and The Law of Attraction - A Perfect Match
- Tapping with tunes
- Do you have emotional difficulty with the standard EFT phrasing?
- Jewels in the junkyard--the prison population
- EFT improves a mentally disabled young man
- Can You Do EFT With Eyes Closed?
- Not finding the right words for EFT is a block that can be overcome
- High blood pressure recedes - and remains normal a week later
- Deborah Miller beautifully reframes an assault issue into a new personal identity
- The many benefits of EFT circles--and how to do them
- Why does tapping on the side of the hand work?
- EFT for a numb face and tongue - instant relief for a skeptic
- Suzanne Zacharia finds the root causes of Multiple Chemical Sensitivity (MCS)
- EFT to help heal fruit trees - a major new business waiting to happen?
- Mental Dental EFT - for the dentist and the patient
- Sneaking Up On The Problem When You Do EFT
- EFT enhances many things
- EFT for bladder control when on the road
- Silent Night Sadness -- when certain music gives you the blues
- Mary Pellicer, MD, on Intuitive Diagnosis
- EFT provides instant relief for Poison Ivy itching
- Quieting down an elderly stroke victim in a nursing home
- Three Keys to EFT Mastery
- Painful mastitis clears after EFT
- How to get non-profit organizations to host EFT group meetings--and pay you as well
- A creative approach to psychological reversal
- EFT as a morning eye-opener
- EFT for night time trips to the bathroom--including follow-up
- EFT for resistance to doing EFT
- "I have to lie constantly to live my life as I know it"
- Further bridges to our history
- Stress and Me and EFT
- Gratitude and Coach Ben Hammerschmidt
- EFT and Nightmares
- A successful use of EFT for Hasimoto
- Five extreme behavior patterns related to organizing and how to address them with EFT
- Your Vibration Always Comes First
- EFT and future pacing
- EFT for people who are sensitive
- EFT for painful cramping
- WHO AM I NOW??? How Identity Issues Block Abundance
- Kelly Meisak uses a unique approach for her ADD prone brother
- This lady had not been out of her house for two years because she suffered from chronic burping
- Reiki Master uses EFT in the Republic of Mauritius
- Katie's posture and her many emotional issues
- When conflicting beliefs keep us stuck
- Rehana Webster teaches the details behind a successful blushing case
- Resentment gets in the way of abundance
- Changing a man's life with EFT--including pain, emotions and bedroom romance
- EFT in the snow -- creating comfort in the cold
- Stopping the flu in its early stages
- "How do I get really good at EFT?"
- Relief for Bashful Bladder
- When Positive is Negative - Accepting Your Light
- Tapping through a beginning seizure
- Teresa Knezek treats her own Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) -- including a 3 year followup
- Raising your metabolism with EFT
- When EFT gives only temporary results
- Being Specific
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Articles & Ideas
Asking good questions to elicit tappable issues
Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™. Best wishes, Gary
Clients and practitioners alike often ask, “How do I know where to start? How do I know what to say?” This five part series on asking good questions offers lots of suggestions. Gratitude to Rue Hass for sharing her wisdom with us.
Part 1: Where to Start
Part 2: Getting More Specific Means Getting Better Results
Part 3: Learning to Find the Core Question that is Running the Show
Part 4: How to Ask Your Body for What to Tap On
Part 5: Good Questions to Generate Specific Tapping Phrases
Part 1: Where to Start
I trust my intuition. So when something pops in to my mind that seems odd or out of place or even outrageous, or if the client says something interesting, surprising, or unexpected, I will probably choose to make a question out of it to see what happens. It will become clear pretty quickly whether the direction will be useful or not.
“Shelley” came in, saying she just “needed a change.” Her shoulders were all hunched up around her ears and tension was evident in her face. She talked rather vaguely about what brought her to see me, so I asked her the first question I almost always ask, no matter what the person says they came for.
“What do you want?” Her face went blank, and her whole body slumped. “Want?” she said, confused. “I don’t know WHAT I want. No one has ever asked me that before. They always say, ‘What’s wrong?’”
Those two questions, “What is wrong?” and “What do you want?” will lead in vastly different directions.
“What’s wrong?” will elicit a long litany of what has never worked in a person’s life. This is a mental list that they have memorized, and that they add to each day. I am reminded of the adage: “If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always gotten.” People always feel worse when they answer the “What’s wrong?” question.
When a person takes in the question “What do you want?” they have to go inside and begin to think of alternative futures, different choices, what is important to them. They have to begin a sorting and weighing process to find which possibilities feel like something they might want.
“What do you want?” engages a whole different area of one’s brain and being than “What’s wrong?” What do you want points in the direction of imagination, choice, being in charge, a sense of personal sovereignty. It is the first step of manifestation, and it leads in the direction of becoming more of who we are inside. It leads in the direction of healing.
Shelley and I began tapping:
Even though I don’t know what I want, I deeply and completely accept myself .
Shelley dutifully repeated the words, but her eyes were filling with tears. “I can’t say that,” she whispered.
I asked, “What can you say there? What would feel comfortable to you to say?” We settled on “Inside, I know I am OK ”
Even though I don’t know what I want, inside I know I am OK.
Even though I can’t accept that I don’t even know what I want…
Even though no one ever asked me what I want…
Even though I didn’t even know I could want something just for me…
(Here I sent her a questioning look to ask, is that right? She nodded and we went on)
Even though I want a change in my life but I don’t know what it is, I know I am OK inside and I am doing the best I can…
We aren’t taught much about how to know what we want. We have very few people in our lives who model for us that it is up to us to decide what we want. Mostly we pick up on what we think we SHOULD want from the people around us, parents, teachers, media. The problem is that they got their should’s, that they gave to us, from their own version of the same places.
I want to help clients to learn, through EFT inspired by good questions, how to be their own wise guides. I teach them to use their own bodies and their intuition as resources.
The first step is to find the answer to this really important question: “ How will you know when you are getting what you want?” In other words, what will you be looking for, sensing for, that will let you know that you are on the right track?
One of the first things I teach a client is how to ask themselves what they want and what is right for them, and how to read their own physical signals as a barometer for knowing the answer. In order to do this a person has to know what “yes,” and “no” feel like inside, so that they can find out from themselves if a certain action or choice or decision is the right one for them. No one taught me that when I was growing up!
So I asked Shelley to close her eyes and feel the feeling of “NO” in her body. After a moment, I told her to open her eyes, and asked what her experience was. She said it became harder to breathe, her chest felt tight, and her shoulders hurt. I took note of these body responses.
Then I told her to move around in her chair to change her position (when you change your body your mind changes, and vice versa). I asked her to feel into the quality of “YES.” When she opened her eyes Shelley said she felt lighter, there was an opening in her chest, like energy was moving up and out, deeper breathing, and her shoulders felt relaxed.
We did the exercise again, this time with two slightly different questions. I asked Shelley these questions one at a time, adding the position shift in between to change her state of being.
“What happens in your body when you feel these statement ‘The world is an unsafe and unfriendly place?’
And then, “What happens when you feel into ‘The world is a safe and friendly place?’”
I encouraged Shelley to notice whatever happened inside, the images, thoughts, feelings sensations that came up for each question. Her responses to these questions were similar to the Yes and No responses, with more information there for her.
Have you noticed that everything in life comes down to Yum or Yuck?
I explained to Shelley that now she had a very powerful and accurate measure of how she truly felt about something. I suggested that next time she had a decision or a choice to make, she take each possibility, hold it in her mind, and notice what happens in her body. We tried it out on some things in her life, and she was amazed to find that she had the answers right there, in her body’s response.
Before, she hadn’t known how to know what she wanted, except that she wanted change in her life. She hadn’t known how to proceed beyond that.
Now that she had a way of knowing what she wanted, a feeling of rightness that came from inside her, we were ready to go deeper with her concerns.
Rue Hass, EFT Master
Part 2: Getting More Specific Means Getting Better Results
The next question I would ask a client might be “What stops you from getting what you want?” Many people’s first response to this question is something like “my boss,” “my spouse,” “my job,” “that situation.” I always remind them that there is nothing that we can change about the other person or situation, but we can change the client's own inner response to it. When they change on the inside, their response to the situation will change. Sometimes even the other people change!
When I asked this question of Shelley, suddenly she said “Nothing works for me!” Her eyes filled with tears again. “I always feel like I have done, or am about to do, something wrong!”
Now, sometimes I might start tapping with the person on a general statement like this one, “Nothing works for me!,” and see where it goes. This would be an approach to use with a client who likes to speak in speaks in generalities (“I am so depressed,” or “I am just anxious all the time”) and everything they say reminds them of something else again that may or may not be related. Their minds jump all around.
So we might begin tapping with, “Even though nothing works for me” and find a completion phrase that offers a new direction, or suggests that in fact there are some things that the person is good at.
Even though a part of me thinks that nothing works for me, I am curious about how many times I can remember in my life where I made a good decision, or did something that has had good consequences.
Sometimes this feels like the best way to enter the client’s concerns. But being specific is almost always better. Asking the client to come up with specific examples of their general statement always produces tappable phrases.
I like to use the metaphor of a cage, instead of a forest or a table with legs, for what holds a memory in place. The cage could be the incident, or the limiting belief. The bars are the aspects of the incident, or the incidents that hold the belief in place. To me, being specific means dissolving each of the bars of the cage, until there is a space big enough to step out of the cage into freedom.
I tell people that in some ways it doesn’t matter where we start on an issue. To use another metaphor that I often suggest, each aspect of the issue is like a corner of a net. It doesn’t matter where on the net you pick it up. When you start hauling it in from that point, the whole rest of the net comes, along with whatever is caught in it. In some way all of it is connected. So picking out one specific incident is holding up a hologram of the entire cage.
It is a good idea to choose a specific incident that illustrates the feeing or the belief that the client has. A particular incident carries all the triggers, the emotional responses, the beliefs, and the physiological and behavioral symptoms.
Healing can begin only when each of these aspects is addressed. The more specific the actual language is in pinpointing the precise experience of the symptom, feeling, location, the more likely it is that the emotions of the memory will be uncoupled from the neurology in the brain that represents it.
Some examples of being specific :
Felicia said, “My doctor has always told me I am too hard on myself.”
I asked her “What specifically do you say to yourself?” That elicited some specific beliefs, particularly around self worth.
Then I asked her for some examples, specific stories, of “a time when something happened that made you think that about yourself…”
We tapped on each of those incidents, using her exact language patterns.
Sandy came to me for weight loss, and for “always feeling guilty”. In her first comments I heard her say, “I have this pressure or anxiety on me to be the head of the household.” (Her husband died ten years ago and she has two children.)
I asked her “Where in your body do you feel that pressure?” “What does it feel like?” “Make a metaphor of that feeling.” We used all that languaging in the tapping.
It has turned out that she is a real talker, and in her long history with therapy has clearly managed to fill each session with her “stuff.” I find that if I focus her on her body in this way, on specific physical feelings, with precise language, she stops talking and goes inside. As we tap for the physical symptoms, the most brilliant revelations emerge from her. She hears herself.
Just the other day in the midst of tapping like this, she said suddenly, with huge surprise and then tears, “Omigod! I just realized that if I lost weight I’d be free of my mother and I could have my own life -- but -- then what would I DO???? Ohhh, it is better to be in a prison because then you know what to expect!!!”
Those two sentences alone contain enough information to create a whole life-transforming tapping session around!
Even though if I lost weight I would be free of my mother...
Even though if I were free of my mother I could have my own life...
Even though it scares me to death to think of having my own life...
Even though I wouldn’t know what to do...
Even though it is better to be in a prison...
Even though I don’t know what to expect if I am in charge of my life..
Even though I might even be addicted to “being in this prison” – it is keeping me safe...
Even though focusing on my weight keeps me from having to notice how I really feel...
Even though carrying on an inner fight with my (dead) mother means I don’t have to pay attention to what is running my life...
Even though food has been what nourished me...
Even though all of this distracts me from feeling guilty about even being alive...
And those are just the starters!
Remembering her first comments, I also asked Sandy, “When in your life have you felt pressure to be responsible? Give me five specific times and tell me a title for each one, as if it were a movie.”
Then we would take a particular time, and I would say, “What moment in the event was the worst? What made it the worst? Was it a tone of voice, a look, a gesture, a taste?”
She rated the intensity of her response to that incident. Then we tapped using her particular words, for “Even though ____(title)______ has been in my body all these years, ...”
We also tapped for all the aspects of the worst moment of the story.
April felt sad and depressed about the holidays coming up. But, seeking the source of those feelings in her history, when I asked her about her childhood memories of holiday times she described them in glowing terms. That was such a contradiction, since I knew that she had had a lot of emotional abuse as a child, so I wanted to know more.
We did a lot of talking and tapping on her answers to the question, “What did you lose when you lost your father?” She said she had lost the opportunity to resolve the problems she had had with him.
I asked her, ”What problems, specifically?” We worked with each one.
The most interesting moment came when we had gotten “this loss sadness” reframed and down to a 2, and then April said she felt a sudden pain in her butt. It felt “like a Tasmanian devil poking me right there in the left buttock with a hot poker.” She has had chronic pain for many years, and that butt pain is a signal to her “that there is something I am uncomfortable with, actually terrified about.”
We had an interesting interchange that led her to ask herself “Am I strong enough to face the world without my pain?” The implication was, of course, that unconsciously she was using her pain to avoid facing the world on her own.
I suggested that she try saying it another way: “How will I know when I am strong enough to face the world without my pain?”
I asked her to check out the differences between the two ways of framing the question. This question utilized specificity in a different way.
April said that her first way of phrasing the question, “Am I strong enough?”, which she realized had been unconsciously there for a long time, produced a caged, overwhelmed anxiety, and a scared response in her body.
“How will I know when I am strong enough to face the world without my pain?” made her mind go in a direction toward “finding specific, quantifiable ways of looking for answers.”
Instead of being terrified, April realized that she saw this question as an interesting challenge.
Rue Hass, EFT Master
Part 3: Learning to Find the Core Question that is Running the Show
The “core question that is running the show” has probably been with us most of our lives. It likely got its start from a traumatic experience or a series of traumas over time in childhood, and because we didn’t have much experience we thought that it meant something about us. That cold look, that loud voice, that frightening situation must have meant that there was something wrong with us. If we had been enough – smart enough, strong enough, fast enough, whatever enough, that wouldn’t have happened.
That belief about ourselves and the emotions that accompany it literally become coded in our neurology in the limbic system of the brain, the part that gives us our unconscious responses to what is happening around us. It could even be said that the tendency toward having those experiences is an inherited trait. We might call it the emotional legacy of our family and ancestors.
In Shelley’s case, the core emotional legacy revolved round this anxious feeling that she could never do anything right. She was always feeling like she had done or was about to make a mistake.
I asked Shelley to say more about her feeling that she “has done something wrong.” Shelley began to talk about having fibromyalgia, and having seen many doctors who told her that her discomfort was all in her head. She felt like there was something wrong with her. Like she was just wrong.
“Where do you experience that ‘doing something wrong’ feeling in your body?” I asked. It was in her feet: “tingling, burning bottoms of my feet. I can’t stand in one place for more than three minutes.”
I am always interested in symptoms that show up in the body. I often find that the affected part of the body can be an evocative metaphor for what is going on in the person’s life. So I ask an open-ended question involving the body part to see if it evokes any response.
I asked Shelley, “What are your feet burning to do?”
She said promptly and vehemently, “My feet are burning to get away from all the childhood pain!!” This was surely a strong clue! It was as if her feet were leading us to the source of the problem.
When we encounter a symptom that carries an emotional charge, it is always a signal that something important is being triggered within the client. In Gary’s terminology, it suggests a “door” to go in with EFT. Good questions can take the listener through this door and deeper into their own unconscious processes. It is useful to generate a list of specific experiences that carried that same feeling (“Tell me about a time when…And another time….and another…).
I was finding that once we took on a topic, Shelley was now able to stay focused, so I asked her to give me some examples of times in her childhood when she got the idea that she had “done something wrong.”
Shelley talked about all the times she was jealous of her sister growing up. Her sister could work with her hands in 4H, “and I always did the job wrong.” She talked about her mother having the same negative feelings about herself: “My grandmother was hell on wheels. Nothing was ever good enough for her. And my Mom was really hard on me. She yelled at me and hit me.”
This family history held another good clue. The latest neurological research suggests that our unconscious primal emotional responses are passed on to us from our ancestors at the cellular level in the limbic system of the brain. So if we find our selves the victim of someone’s irrationally dramatic emotional response, there is a good chance that something is triggering the cellular memory of what happened back there in their generational history. In other words, it is not about us!
So Shelley’s description of her mother being violently angry like her grandmother had let me know that we were on track to hopefully healing a painful distortion in her family’s emotional history. EFT is able to dissolve these neurological energy connections between the painful memory and the unconscious emotional response. The events then take on a different meaning in the stories we tell ourselves about how the world works.
I asked Shelley to find four specific painful times in her childhood when she had felt she had done something wrong, and it had resulted in an encounter like that with her mother. I asked her to give the stories titles, and pick the one that had the most emotional charge for her.
There were many many times, and she couldn’t think of a particular one. So I asked her to make one up. I said, just imagine, that there you are, a little girl, and tell me a story about something that might happen to you or someone like you. Shelley started right in on a story she called “Mom Shaking and Hitting Me.”
The “little girl” had been 8 years old, and she was singled out from her siblings and punished by her mother, unjustly, for having “done something wrong.” The emotions she felt when Shelley thought about it now were sadness, anger and fear, and she felt them in her feet (not surprising!) as well as in her shoulders and back.
Our tapping included variations of these statements:
Even though I am being pointed out as the culprit and it’s not fair
Even though she won’t listen to me
Even though she is shaking and hitting me and I am really scared
Even though it wasn’t my fault
Even though I am really mad that my brother and sister are looking so pious
Even though I am feeling so scared
Even though my feet are burning up about this…
Even though I am carrying all this anger and sadness on my shoulders..
I asked Shelley what was the worst aspect of that experience? What bothered her the most?
Even though Mom has this terrible scary storm cloud in her face…
Even though Mom’s voice has this loud mean tone...
Even though she is gritting her teeth on the right side of her jaw and her jaw is clenched...
Even though her eyes are bulging she is so mad...
As we tapped, I was experimenting with different endings for the set up statement, using the ones that Shelley felt best about, and inviting her to use her own words.
…I am open to bring healing to this
…I was doing the best I could
…I know I am a good girl inside
…It wasn’t my fault
…I forgive myself
…I honor myself for how hard this was
Shelley shared that when her mom was hitting her and screaming, Shelley herself started to yell back. Her mother called this “sassing.” Sassing angered her mother even further, and her emotions escalated even further.
I asked Shelley, What did that experience lead you to believe about yourself? What did this experience mean about you?
The sadness trembled in her voice, “I am really bad.”
We tapped for variations of:
Even though I am really bad…
Even though talking back got me in a lot of trouble and hurt…
Even though Mom made me feel like I was a really bad girl…
Even though my brother and sister let her think I was the bad one, and that made me feel so mad and sad…
When I finally asked Shelley to replay the movie after our rounds of tapping, she said she noticed that she “wasn’t quite so scared this time.”
See the next part to learn how this situation resolved.
Rue Hass, EFT Master
Part 4: How to Ask Your Body for What to Tap On
As a way of checking the 0-10 intensity ratings that we often use in EFT, I like to invite the person to notice their inner sensations to verify what is going on for them. “Asking your body” and listening for the answers is often the first time the body’s “voice” has ever been paid any attention. By the time emotions and symptoms have become a problem, what the body wants and needs has probably been ignored for a long time! We are so good at “toughing it out,” “soldiering on,” or helping someone else.
My client Shelley had begun to transform the meaning of some painful experiences in her childhood. She had started out feeling like there was” just something wrong” with her. “Nothing works for me!” she had said. “I always feel like I have done, or am about to do, something wrong!” Her feet had hurt so bad it was hard to stand for longer than three minutes.
But now she was feeling less scared when she thought about how her mother had always seemed to single her out for punishment, and her siblings let that happen. She had always felt helpless and victimized.
“How do you know that you are not so scared?” I asked her. “What do you notice in your body, your thoughts, your feelings that lets you know you are not so scared?”
After we talked about this for a bit, I wondered how it would feel if she stood up. She did. “How do your feet feel now?” I asked.
She said “Hmmm…my right foot doesn’t quite buy it, this not-so-scared feeling. (How do you know?) It feels weird. Bigger than the other foot.”
As we explored it, this answer led us into a fascinating, creative and imaginative adventure with Shelley’s feet. They took on separate personalities, as if her identity had split into two parts and each took a foot to stand in.
Her right foot seemed to be saying it didn’t want her to get her hopes up. It might not be safe to stand / stand up for herself.
Playing along with this, suspecting that I would get interesting and useful information that we could use, I asked her to give her two feet names, and asked what their specific jobs were for her. The left foot was Steady Eddy: “It knows who it is. It stays the course. It has strength.” The right foot was “erratic, meandering.”
So we tapped for the different feelings of each of the feet.
My next questions pointed toward what I think is the very key of healing. People don’t usually understand this question at first – no one has taught us to think this essential way -- but when I keep working with it with the client, working around it, this next question can produce the revelations that lead to growth and healing.
The question is:
What is the positive intention of that emotion/behavior/symptom?
If the part of you that is running that behavior were trying to get something for you, what would it be?
I might even follow the flow from the person’s first answer to a deeper one by saying: “So if you got that, what would it get for you that is even more important?” This question can be asked again and again, and the answers go deeper each time.
I always assume that if something is blocking the flow of spirit toward manifesting in the fullest possible way through a person, it has some positive intention. In EFT terms this is a Psychological Reversal. The symptom, whether it is a limiting belief, a behavior, or a body response or pain, is a dark angel, so to speak. I think of it as a part of us that has been trying forever to get something for us, usually safety or protection.
It is like a horse with blinders, I will say. “This part of you is trying desperately to help you, but it only knows how to do this one strategy – this symptom – and it is stuck in the ON position. Maybe it is trying to distract you from facing something difficult, or maybe it is keeping you from saying or doing something that in the past might have been dangerous or not allowed. But now this strategy is not longer helpful to you. It stands in the way of your healing.”
Shelley had said that if I could watch her walk toward me I would notice that her right foot was pointed outward, while the left one moved straight ahead. She said that right now after all this tapping and attention her right foot was “feeling really strange.”
So I asked her, If each of your feet had a message for you, what would those messages be? What are your feet trying to get for you that is positive?
Suddenly Shelley gasped and said, “I am getting this image of myself standing there yelling back at my mom, and that sets my Mom off even more!”
And then she had a cascade of insights that were, amazingly, led by her thoughts about her feet. We just tapped together continuously through all the points as she exclaimed, “My left foot seems so strong, but really it is passive! It didn’t do squat! It made me stay there and take my mom’s abuse! I was paying more attention to my mom and my siblings than I was to how I was feeling!
And there is my right foot -- it sticks out when I walk. It is trying to get away!! It knows that I don’t have to stay when something bad is happening! But my left foot is saying ‘Be quiet and just take it.’ Here I thought it was the strong steady one! No wonder I never know what I want!”
Now I asked Shelley, “If your feet could have access to other, more powerful and much more effective strategies for getting what they have been trying to get for you, would they be interested?”
She asked them! A little “foot discussion” ensued, and both feet seemed to agree that each of them could make good use of the gifts of the other, and together they would be much stronger. We made sure that both feet were willing to share their particular gifts on behalf of the whole of Shelley, so that both sides could feel certain that she was both safe and strong.
We tapped for what gifts each of those feet had to offer to the other, so that they could work together to help Shelley stand up for herself. The left foot could give its strength and steadiness to the meandering right foot, and the right foot could give its knowing when something was abusive and not fair, so that the left foot could “feel safe, to come out of hiding” and the right foot could “stick to its resolve to get me out of there!”
I had Shelley tap for the attributes of the left foot on the points on her left side, and the attributes of her right foot on the points on her right side. After a few times of this, I inserted the words, “this conflict” and she tapped that phrase with both hands through the points. Then we tapped for variations of:
Even though my feet had been in conflict, I love and accept myself ( she hadn’t been able to say this before, but she found she could say it now). My feet choose to work together to help me stand up for myself.
Even though I thought I had to stand there and take the abuse, now I know how to tell when something bad is happening to me. I can feel it in my body. I can now walk out of there on my own two feet if I need to.
Even though I paid more attention to other people’s emotions, because I had to in order to survive, now I know what I am feeling and I choose to take action on my own behalf. I understand myself and what I deserve from a different perspective now.
Even though I thought my feet were the problem, I see now that my real feat is to learn how to use them to take steps on my own behalf !
She laughed at this pun. Being able to laugh in the midst of powerful negative emotion is a good intervention in itself. I love looking for plays on the client’s own words and do it constantly. Finding opportunities to be creative like this makes EFT fun for me!
At last both of the feet felt balanced and no longer burning and “weird.” I asked Shelley again to replay her movie of her mom hitting and screaming, and to notice whether she was seeing the movie from her own eyes, or watching herself in the movie.
She said, “Oh, before I was watching all this happen to me and I was feeling so helpless. But now I am inside my self, standing steady in myself. I am looking at my mom, right in to her eyes, and I calmly and clearly tell her my story. I am not at fault. I know am not bad.
Wow! Since I am not ‘sassing her’ she quiets down. She is willing to arbitrate the dispute among my siblings instead of just seizing me to punish.”
Shelley was so surprised to hear herself say that!
We tapped through all the points with these powerful, positive statements.
Even though before I was watching all this happen to me and I was feeling so helpless and wronged , now I can love and accept myself, and I am inside my self, standing steady in myself.
Even though I used to let myself be abused, now I can stand there and look at my mom, and I calmly and clearly tell her my story .
Even though I stood that abuse for so long, now I can stand up and walk away if I need to.
Even though I thought I was a bad person and couldn’t do anything right , I now know that I am truly good inside, and I deserve to be treated better, especially by myself!
I asked Shelley to play the movie one more time. She was silent for a moment, and then she said in a quiet voice, “I hear an inner voice speaking to me. It is saying ‘This is not about you, Shelley. You are OK.’”
Finally I asked Shelley to go back through her life in her memory, sorting for other times when she had stood up for her own truth. As she did this, Shelley began to realize that her mother had had the same feelings. Her grandmother had been “hell on wheels,” she said again, always yelling and hitting. Nothing Shelley’s mother had done as a child had ever been good enough for her own mother.
Shelley realized that when she “sassed her mother back,” in effect standing up for herself, it threw her mother into a frenzy of hitting and yelling herself, and Shelley could see that her mother was unconsciously reacting to her own mother, not to Shelley herself. She could see herself differently now, as someone who had always been trying to stand up for herself.
Her shoulders and her whole body were relaxed now, and her face was peaceful, and radiating a vibrant energy. We talked about the final test, which would be to stand up now, without pain. In the past, it would have taken only three minutes of standing, and then later her feet would have hurt for days.
Shelley decided that just standing there right now sounded boring. She was going to leave the test for the next day, and do something fun with her feet, like dancing.
Part 5: Good Questions to Generate Specific Tapping Phrases
As Shelley and I worked together over time, I incorporated many other “I can ask myself for the answer” skills. Like most people who have chronic pain, she was used to going to the “experts” to “get fixed” because she felt “broken.” It was a huge revelation to her to learn that she could be a source of her own wisdom and healing.
Here is an overview of how I used questions to assist Shelley toward cognitive shifts. Always I am on the look-out / listen-in for answers that contain emotional charge – these are what we will tap on.
Asking any of the following questions will elicit magnificent tappable responses in the client’s own unique phrasing.
Here are some questions for:
1. Knowing what you want
•What do you want? (something that is within yourself and within your control to affect)
•How will you know when you are getting what you want?
•What will you be looking for, sensing for, that will let you know that you are on the right track?
•What (in yourself) stops you from getting what you want?
•Say more about that…(when the client has made a statement that catches your attention)
2. Using your body to learn how you know what you want
•Where do you experience that _______ feeling in your body?
•If those tears/that feeling had a voice, what would they/it be saying?
•If your (shoulder/back/throat) could talk, what would it say?
•Ask a metaphorical question involving the body part.
•It feels like _______ , or as if ________...
•How do you know that you have changed?
•What do you notice in your body, your thoughts, your feelings that lets you know?
3. Finding limiting beliefs
•Tell me about a time when ….
•What was the worst aspect of that experience?
•What did that (experience/tone of voice/trauma) lead you to believe about yourself?
•What did that mean about you?
•How is that a problem for you?
•What emotion do you feel when you say that belief to and about yourself?
4. Finding the positive intention
•What is the positive intention of that emotion/behavior/symptom?
•If the part of you that is running that behavior were trying to get something for you, what would it be? So if you got that, what would it get for you that is even more important?”
•If that part of you could have access to other, more powerful and much more effective strategies for getting what it has been trying to get for you, would it be interested?
Here is one more useful and creative question to ask, when a person has begun to open to the flow of change within, and has a new sense of direction and choice. It is, “Tell me about other times in the past when you felt yourself acting positively, with strength and purpose and clarity -- even tiny experiences count.”
The purpose here is to reveal to the client that she has ALWAYS had this capacity to keep herself safe, and to be smart or creative or loving or assertive or compassionate.
It is a revelation to discover that you have been good all along!
There is a lot more that could be said about good questions! But this is a good start.
The “positive intention” question, and “Where do you feel that in your body?” and “If those tears, that tightness, this sensation... had a voice, what would it be saying?” are the questions I ask most often, especially if some objection seems to be in the way of growth. They produce the most interesting answers.
And then I weave all of the words, phrases, emotions and memories that arise in response into EFT set up phrases and affirmations.
Pay attention to what people say when they answer these questions. I know that sounds like a no-brainer, but over and over again something a client says will catch in my ear, so to speak, and when I repeat it back to them in an EFT tapping phrase, they will say in astonishment, “How did you know that!!! “ They think I am so insightful! Well, I am, but I have learned that a lot of insight is just Paying Attention.
Two important caveats about asking questions :
I have had the experience of getting so intoxicated with the questions and with following the answers that I get led away from doing EFT. So keep your intention in mind!
The other problem that can arise is when you are working with a very associative thinker. This is the person for whom every thought or word reminds them of something else, and you as the practitioner find yourself continually scrambling to keep up. “Like herding cats” is an apt expression here!
At some point you must take a stand and focus. Then just keep cycling back to your chosen focus. Sometimes this is easier said than done! Working with body sensations is always a good idea with an associative thinker. It gets the client out of their story and into their body, and that is where their healing lies.
You might print out these questions and keep them handy, referring to them in sessions. Soon it will become second nature to ask them when you notice there is something in your client’s behavior or statements that you find yourself curious about.
Be on the look out inside: learn to notice when someone (maybe even you!) is making a leap between assumptions that may make logical sense, but that may also turn out to be an unexamined unconscious response.
These unexamined, unconscious responses are where the gold of transformation lies!
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