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Articles & Ideas

Using EFT

Using EFT to say Good-Bye to a dying person

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Hi Everyone,

When we are REALLY tuned in to what is happening in our EFT sessions, we are able to recognize that the healing goes both ways. Such is the case in this touching example by Sarajane Thomas.

Hugs, Gary

By Sarajane Thomas

I recently received a request from Hospice staff to check in right away with Susan who was suffering from the final stages of lung cancer in a local nursing home. She was very agitated, fearful, and ready to bolt out of her chair or bed at any moment. She could not be left alone. Since she was so anxious, I was asked to visit and comfort her every day.

Right after the phone call from Hospice, I traveled immediately to the nursing home to visit Susan (a petite 65-year old lady) for the first time. She was sitting in a special oversized hospice wheel chair at the nurse's station where staff could keep a watchful eye on her at all times. Aides wheeled the patient to her room and gently lifted her into bed so that she and I could visit. For a while, staff and visitors were coming in and out of her semi-private room. In a very poignant moment, Liz (one of the young staff members there) brought in her 2-year old girl to meet the ailing woman.

Since there were others milling about the room, I used my initial time with her to introduce "comfort tapping" while, at the same time, soothing her with soft lullabies. Comfort tapping is my way of tapping (alternating all ten fingers up and down) across/over a person's physical body. In this case, I first comfort tapped along the top of her shoulders, up and down her arms, and especially focused on her fingers and hands. I have found that such tapping is consoling, almost tranquilizing to the severely ill. And then I proceeded with EFT. I introduced such set-up phrases as: "Even though I am seriously ill, I deeply and completely love myself. Even though I'm ill, I choose to remain calm. Even though I'm dying, I choose to remain in control of how I act and feel and think until the end of my life. Even though I'm very ill, I appreciate all that I've experienced in my life. "

When I arrived for the second visit on the morning of the next morning, the nurse told me that Susan was no longer agitated and was resting quietly in her bed. On this occasion, I used inner imaginative surrogate tapping for a while and then began tapping on myself for her while speaking very quietly. It seemed from the expression on her face that she knew I was doing something indefinable. I had her undivided attention; she kept her eyes riveted on mine during the whole time I was with her. I was using set-up phrases such as "Even though I, Susan, may feel helpless, I choose to be in control of my life and how I live it to the very end." I had the feeling that she was soaking up my words and that somehow her dying process was making more sense to her now.

On my third visit on the next day, Susan remained asleep while I was there. I did silent surrogate work with her using the same type of set-up phrases as on previous days.

Two days later, I made my fourth visit to the nursing home. At 2:43 pm Susan died while I was at her side. (No relatives were with her.) I had almost stayed home that day because I was feeling rather unusual and couldn't quite figure out what was wrong. But I thumped my collar bone (CB) point and did some energy exercises and proceeded on to the nursing home anyway. I had arrived at about 1:45 pm, and she was labored in her breathing with set eyes and half closed eyelids, cold feet and the mottled coloring in the feet and lower legs, an indication that the body was systematically closing down. I knew it wouldn't be long. I held her hand for a while but then I felt she needed to be in her own space during this critical time. I spent most of my hour with her that day doing silent surrogate tapping for a painless and conscious death, and for her willingness to accept how she had lived in that physical body right up to the very last moment.

A short time later when her breathing pattern became more shallow, this indicated that she was actively dying. I bid her a joyous farewell. It was like I was her cheerleader as she moved on to another lifestyle. And I thanked her profusely for allowing me to be with her as she made her departure. And I kept remembering the ancient oriental belief that death in the physical body meant a birth into another body elsewhere.

After the head nurse had verified that there was no longer a pulse, she left the room to contact the family. I stayed with Susan's body for a while and continued my farewell language, praising her for what she had accomplished in life and inspiring her to recognize the sweetness of that place where she was headed. When I sensed her spirit was gone from the body, I gave her my final well wishes and left the room. During these last sacred moments with her, I felt that I had the privilege of sending her off to another phase or level of life elsewhere.

As I walked out of the nursing home to head towards home, it seemed as though she had left the building with me and accompanied me across the parking lot to my car. I sensed she was now saying her good-byes to me and sending me off to my life similar to what I had done with her. What a sense of freedom was in the air!

As I reported the death to the hospice staff by telephone after I had returned home, my supervisor said that Susan must have wanted me to be there at the end or it would not have happened that way.

Three hours later that same day, I laid down for a short nap, and when I awakened, I remembered that I had dreamed about a woman standing at the foot of my bed. It struck me that Susan wanted me to see who she now was and how she was - a very attractive auburn-haired woman (about 35 years old). Her beaming face was aimed skyward and her arms raised in jubilation as she appeared to be wholeheartedly accepting who she was now becoming.

Now I understood why I had been feeling somewhat different during those last few days. When I stopped to think about that sensation in my heart and linked it to Susan, it felt as though she had been my companion for a while, and I could actually feel that comradeship in my heart. In experiencing this dream, it was as if she were saying to me, "Yes, I did have control of how I felt and thought and acted until the very end (of that physical existence)." I knew that the memory of this precious dream would be forever imbedded in my consciousness - that jubilant sight of Susan moving on to her new life.



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