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Articles & Ideas


EFT brings beauty to a hospice setting

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to peruse our Free Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tutorial™ for a more complete understanding.

Hi Everyone,

Wouldn't it be nice if we could all ease our end of life process? In a beautiful and moving way, Joanne Harvey, a hospice worker, shows us how to use EFT for this purpose. The magnificence of what Joanne portrays in this true life story may bring tears to your eyes. It did for me. Please consult physicians on all medical issues.

Hugs, Gary

By Joanne Harvey, MSW

Dear Gary,

I am sending you a story that had to be told. It's about a sweet couple dealing with the challenges of cancer and the impact EFT has had on them. I continue to use EFT in my practice and am so grateful for this remarkable tool I can share with some many.


As an EFT practitioner and a Hospice Social Worker, I work with terminally ill patients and their families. I have clients that are not able to focus on the present but obsess on what if's, the anger of why me, and the fear of what is going to happen in the future, and all the chores that have to be done before the end. In short many are robbing themselves of appreciating the present and all the abundant gifts that are available right now. EFT, as you will see from the story moved this couple so fast into the present that it really doesn't matter how long they have together, the time they have will be full of quality and love.

The couple I have written about as an example were both lost in the future and grieving the past, making plans for the impending funeral, finishing important financial business and giving away keepsakes that they wanted their children to have. They were doing the things that had to be done; occupied with checking off their list of jobs and unaware that their present was slipping away unseen and unappreciated.

Sandy (her name has been changed) is a hospice patient. Her life is limited because of the reoccurrence of breast cancer that has metastasized to her bones. She is bright and lovely and when I arrived for our weekly meeting she had just finished her obituary, which she was quite proud of and insisted that I read. She is a very talented writer and it was definitely in her style. After the niceties and compliments on her work, I remarked that she looked like she was experiencing a lot of pain. She tearfully told me that she was experiencing pain often above an 8. She said medication controlled the pain for a while but it returned with a vengeance in an hour or so.

I asked her when did this extreme pain start and without hesitation she said " Six days ago when I realized that Dale (her husband who had historically been very loving and attentive) had become distant and cranky". I asked her where the pain was located and she said around her chest like a tight steel band. I asked her to rate her level of intensity and it was an 8+. We started tapping:

Even though Dale is distant and cranky and I don't know why, I do accept and love myself today.

Even though I have this tight steel band around my chest and the pain is an 8, I do honor and accept myself.

Even though for some reason Dale is distant and cranky, and I have this tight steel band around my chest which is an 8 pain, I do profoundly love and accept myself today.

Then we started tapping on the meridian points, though at the under arm point, I tapped on myself only because of her pain sensitivity:

This tight steel band that wraps around my chest, I choose to let it go.

This band that causes me pain around my chest, I choose to release it.

Dale is distant and cranky, what's up with that?

The tight steel band around my chest, I choose to release it.

Eight pain I choose to let it go.

This pain does not serve me, I choose to let it go.

Dale is cranky, he's never been cranky before, is he getting enough fiber in his diet (laughing)?

What if I chose to release this tight steel band that wraps around my chest, would it be ok for me to do that, could I do that?

After one round I could see that she was feeling better, so we stopped, took a deep breath and I asked her what her intensity level was. It was a 5 on a scale of 0 to 10 which she said was tolerable but we continued. I asked why it was a 5 and she said that she feels like, because she has cancer, she has to have some pain. Oh really!

We started tapping again on the EFT points:

This 5 pain that wraps around my chest like a steel band. What if I let it go, this 5 pain, could I let it go?

Would it be OK to let it go, I have cancer; doesn't that mean I have to have pain?

What if I could let this steel band go?

What if this steel band pain actually represents emotional pain, could I let it go too? Just by tapping? (Laughter) I choose to let this 5 pain go.

I choose to release this pain into the universe to be used for good.

Now Sandy was smiling. She reported that she really couldn't say she was in pain at all but something still wasn't right. So we started tapping again more focused on her connection to Dale.

Even though I still feel like something isn't right with Dale and me, I do honor and accept myself.

Even though I can't put my finger on exactly what is bothering me, it could be that Dale has been cranky and distant, it could be something I won't need to identify but whatever it is I do love and accept myself today.

Even though for whatever reason I have a shadow left of concern about Dale and me, I choose to release whatever it is.

Today and every day I choose to focus on living the best life I possibly can in the present tense, and I love that about myself.

I am alive and in love with Dale. I am happy that my life is so full of abundance. My friends and family are loving and devoted.

Today I have the gift of the present. I honor and appreciate the health I do have.

I ask my body to send healing energy throughout my system.

I choose to honor my life and make every day the best day possible.

Dale loves me and I love him, what a great life we have together.

I forgive him for forgetting about the present and I forgive myself for forgetting about the present.

I choose to make every day count. I am in charge of my focus and I choose to focus on the abundance I do have.

I choose to make everyday count and I love that about myself.

Sandy was truly beaming, she reported no pain and a feeling of overall contentment that she had not had since her last diagnosis.

Next was Dale's turn. Cancer is a family affair and Dale, even though he didn't have it, was obviously suffering too.

Dale was outside in the garden and obviously depressed, he was slumped over watering some flowers. He said that for the last few days the realization that he was going to lose his wife was just too terrible to bear. "I completed my list of 'things to do' when someone dies", he said with sadness in his voice.

He and Sandy had every detail planned for her funeral. He had sold the RV and their boat and completely cleaned out the garage. He felt like he didn't have anything else to do but sit and wait for the inevitable. He felt worthless to Sandy because he couldn't fix her and he felt he didn't have anything to offer her anymore.

I asked him to rate how worthless he felt, his level of intensity was a 10 out of 10. (Notice that I don't argue or reason with Dale about his belief even though it is obvious that he is not worthless. This is his belief and it will be his beliefs until he releases this "I'm worthless" belief through EFT.) We started to tap.

Even though I am completely worthless to Sandy, I would like to honor and accept myself completely.

Even though there is nothing I can do to make her better, I would like to profoundly love and accept myself anyway.

Even though I feel like I am completely worthless to Sandy, I profoundly love and accept myself.

Tapping on all points:

I'm completely worthless to Sandy. I can't fix it and my "to do list" is done.

What's the point? There is nothing I can do. I am worthless to Sandy now.

Well I'm not completely worthless; I can still mow the lawn (laughter).

And she does get lonely if I'm not around.

But I can't fix this and it really makes me mad (tears).

I'm the man. I'm supposed to protect my family and fix thing (more tears) and I can't do either anymore.

I'm not holding up my side of the bargain, I'm supposed to protect her (tears).

Anger about the situation, it's not the way it's supposed to be.

This is not my dream of retirement. But with all this anger and frustration about what I can't do I'm missing the little things I can do.

What if I let the belief that I have to fix her and anything concerned with Sandy go? What if I let this worthless feeling go?

What if I realized that I am wasting time worrying about what I can't change?

What if I let this worthless feeling go. It's not serving me and it sure not serving Sandy. What if I just let it go? Could I let it go? Would I still be a good husband if I let it go? I am a good husband and I love my wife dearly, I am doing the best that I can.

We stopped and I checked with Dale. His level of intensity had dropped to a 2 out of 10. And he was grinning from ear to ear. I asked him why he still had a 2 left and he said he was a little guilty for wasting time. We talked a little about how useless the emotion of guilt is when someone is doing the best they can under the circumstances and then we did a final tapping on all the EFT points:

I choose to release any guilt about what I have or have not done in the past, I can't change it and it's a big waste of time.

I choose to live my life in the present with love and abundance.

I choose to wake up every morning and ask myself how I will make this day fabulous.

I am grateful for my wife and honor what a wonderful loving woman that she is.

I choose to be happy and light and deal with all my life challenges with honor and integrity, and give myself a break when I can't fix it.

I am a loving wonderful husband.

My wife loves me, my kids love me, my dog loves me and I love that about myself.

I release any useless emotions that keep me from experiencing the present as it should be; full of love and beauty.

I choose to see the beauty and abundance that is mine to appreciate every day.

I choose to live in the present and I love that about myself.

Dale looked like he had grown 6 inches. His posture was straight and he was so much brighter. He said he wanted to start with his present right now. He walked into the house and lovingly hugged Sandy and told her how much he loved her. When I left they were both beaming.

A six week update. Sandy's tight steel band pain has not returned, yes she is still a hospice patient and she is enjoying each day she has with her loving husband Dale. When I visit the house now, it is full of music, fresh flowers, light and laughter. Dale takes Sandy out often for a picnic by the river or the lake or just in the back yard. They report their relationship feels shiny and new.

Anyone living with a terminal illness knows that there are lots of challenges ahead, some very difficult. Living in the present is a lesson for everyone. The bottom line is no one knows when we or our loved ones will leave this world.

The most important thing is to live life in the moment; focusing on the quality and abundance that each of us has in our life, never sweating the small stuff and always, always telling our family and friends how much we love them. Leaving old stuff behind can be a challenge but it is doable. And of course plan for the future. None of us have a crystal ball; all we have is right now, this moment. Emotional Freedom Techniques can help all of us tap into the present attracting a life filled with abundance and love.


Joanne Harvey MSW


Explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT™, by reading my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™. More efficient. More powerful.