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Articles & Ideas


EFT As a Conversation With Yourself

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Hi Everyone,

EFT Master Pat Carrington explores HOW the EFT language is used within the EFT process. Should it be said rapidly, yelled with emphasis or introduced via some other means? The answer can spell the difference between mediocre and spectacular results.

Hugs, Gary

By Patricia Carrington, Ph.D.

You may be familiar with Gary Craig's advice to "shout" the EFT phrases, or at least repeat them with great emphasis.  If you (or your client.) is “stuck” during EFT and things don't seem to be moving along as they should, this is very good advice, although strangely it is seldom followed.

Why is this advice useful and what does it suggest about EFT?

I think the key point here is that this recommendation reminds us that, above all, EFT is a conversation with yourself.  Like any other conversation, it is effective or ineffective according to its tone, the genuineness in your or the other person’s voice and in your or their general behavior.  But in this case the participants are two sides of your own self – the side that talks and the side that listens.

You can understand this by an example.  Suppose a person (let's call her “Dena”) decides to tap on the following setup phrase:

"Even though I'm furious at (name of whomever) for blaming me unfairly, I choose to be calm and see this in perspective."

There are many ways she can say this!

One is to rush through the setup phrase as fast as she can possibly speak (many people do this to hurry the process along).  If she were doing this, she would repeat at top speed, "even-though-I'm-furious-at-him/her-for-blaming-me.(etc.)" as though the sentence were all one word!

Actually, saying it this fast might be effective in certain instances because speed can feel almost like spitting out words, and by doing this Dena might get rid of quite a bit of anger.  For some people, therefore, speed could release an agitated state, or speed might just be their “modus operandi” (the way they operate in the world) and be effective for them for that reason..

But -- and this is an important "but" -- all too often, rushing through an EFT phrase is simply a means of escape, it is pushing away the meaning of the words, a "let's get it over with" tactic.  If the speed is unusually fast it can be self-defeating because the conversation between oneself and one's self (so to speak) can become almost meaningless when rushed too much.

Suppose one person were to speak to another person by rushing their words so much that they came out staccato?  Would that convince the other person of their point of view?  Would it "make friends and influence people"?  It’s not likely, unless you were an orator seeking to stir up a crowd to a state of frenzy.

It’s exactly the same when talking to yourself in the EFT phrases.  Occasionally, high speed mechanistic repetition can be just what is needed (gets out a lot of aggression!).  At other times however it can be an escape from an unwanted emotion and make your EFT much less effective.

Suppose that instead of rushing through her sentence, Dena were to repeat it with a slower, more thoughtful emphasis such as:

"Even though I'm furious at him/her for blaming me unfairly, I choose to be calm… and see… this in perspective."

It is highly likely that this statement, if now spoken thoughtfully, would bring her closer to her real feelings.  She would be acknowledging how she felt more fully and honestly, and this could well result in a breakthrough in terms of her ability to express anger effectively.

Suppose that she then added still another dimension to her EFT setup phrase by saying the positive (the last part) of the setup phrase, in this case it is an EFT “Choice”, in a special way by actually thinking about it as she said it, and the phrase came out this way:

"… I choose to be calm…(a brief pause here to let the idea of “calmness” register with her) and see this in perspective (musing as she speaks, as though she were seeing a distant landscape in perspective).

What would happen now?

With a thoughtful articulation of the positive reminder phrase, Dena would be telling herself something important.  Her voice tone would convey "perspective" on the situation, and the emotional impact of her words would become deeper and they would be different.  Add to this the fact that she would be “installing” a new positive perspective at a deep, almost subliminal level because of her simultaneous tapping.  The result could be eye opener for Dena.  A new perspective could be born through doing just this!

In the same way, you can increase the effectiveness of your own EFT practice by thinking about the words you are saying as you tap, and understanding them in their full meaning.  If you do this, you will be holding a truly meaningful conversation with yourself.  As with any other conversation, you will now be respectfully listened to by yourself, and the effect will show immediately. 


Explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT™, by reading my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™. More efficient. More powerful.