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Articles & Ideas


Untangling two events with EFT leads to business freedom

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to peruse our Free Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tutorial™ for a more complete understanding.

Hi Everyone,

Here's an interesting case by Suzanne Lerner. Note how two negative experiences (specific events) combined to cause her client to have business difficulties. After applying EFT, Suzanne says, "Lois now understood rationally how those 2 events had become associated. However, even more importantly, her emotional limbic system now had deactivated the associations between those 2 painful events."

Hugs, Gary

By Suzanne ib Lerner, PhD

Hi Gary,

I had a remarkable session recently. I worked with a woman who is hoping to transition into more meaningful work. She wants to help people, rather than continuing in the rather impersonal business environment that she works in currently. However she reported that she had tried before and had "not been able to make a success of it."

I could have tapped on: Even though I haven't been able to make a success of it in the past... However, knowing that specifics are important, I had her go into the details of her most challenging attempt to develop her own business.

It turns out that she had moved across country to work with a woman who seemed like the perfect business partner. She had invested tremendous time, energy, as well as money in this venture. This partner claimed to have all sorts of contacts. They became quite close, with this business partner seeming to show both skill and enthusiasm. Unfortunately, the other woman didn't hold up her end of the deal. My client felt tremendous sadness, anger, and betrayal. She also felt a hopelessness about ever being able to start a business again, after this so called "failed attempt."

I inquired where she felt this sadness in her body. We then addressed her sadness with the set-up phrase:

Even though I feel so sad that that I put everything into this business, and it feels like a big dark hole in my solar plexus, I choose to deeply and completely love and accept myself, anyway!

After we had addressed her sadness, we began to work on her anger, which tends to be an issue for her. I explained to her that it is a very different thing to have an angry impulse, and to actually act on it. Part of the way I work with EFT is to help clients safely get in touch with any emotions that they may feel some discomfort expressing.

Since there is often shame or a sense of being "out of control" around these feelings, many people attempt to repress, ignore or deny them. These feelings feel "too big" or they fear they might somehow get "out of control." However, these feelings are often coming from a wounded child's perspective. As people begin to realize that they are adults now, and that they are "bigger" than any of their emotions, there is a huge sense of relief. As people learn to manage these feelings more appropriately, there is a wonderful new sense of confidence and empowerment.

Jung described such feelings as our "shadow" side. As these feelings are integrated with EFT, there is a huge freeing up of energy, enthusiasm, and spontaneity. What a gift to finally be able to "deeply and completely" accept all of us!

Of course, if a client shows signs of poor impulse control I would work in a different way. But I really sensed that this woman finally needed to feel her genuine anger, in a way that felt safe for all concerned. This would then help her to heal this experience, which was still haunting her. So I suggested the set-up phrase:

Even though, if I was a man, I might have felt like punching her...

My client laughed and ruefully added, "Even as a woman, I felt ready to punch her!" So I repeated her phrasing:

Even though, as a woman, I was ready to punch her, I deeply and completely love and accept all my feelings, and have compassion for the part of me that felt so hurt and betrayed."

My client was now able to talk about some of her more vulnerable feelings. She mentioned how she had felt "devastated" by this whole experience. She mentioned again that there was this whole feeling of devastation. It was the time of the 9/11 plane attacks, and she and her business partner happened to be in New York City marketing their new business, when the 9/11 attacks occurred! Of course, my ears perked up. As a specialist in Trauma Resolution, I have seen again and again how the mind can strongly associate unrelated events that occur during the heightened response to seemingly life threatening circumstances.

So we worked together to un-tease these 2 events, which had become so tangled in her mind -this unsuccessful business adventure and the terrible attacks on the World Trade Center. I first had her tap on her karate chop point, as she told me about her experiences of being in NYC during 9/11. We then used EFT to help her clear the different emotions that she felt during the attacks. After those feelings were cleared, we used the set-up phrase:

Even though this business venture failed at the same time of the attacks, I choose to know now that they were 2 separate events, and the devastation that occurred on 9/11 is something completely separate from my business attempt.

Reminder Phrases:
EB: No wonder I felt so devastated about starting a new business,
SE: all that devastation,
UE: it got mixed up with my work,
UN: but it had nothing to do with it!
CH: I choose to release those associations,
CB: I choose to reclaim my sense of safety and possibility,
UA: I choose to reclaim my sense of peace,

We worked for several rounds, until her distress level was at a zero on a scale of 0 to 10.

"Lois" was amazed at the relief she experienced. She felt much more comfortable. In fact, she started expressing some actual enthusiasm about the possibility of starting a new business! She could now take her previous experience, learn some useful lessons, and move on. . . Lois now understood rationally how those 2 events had become associated. However, even more importantly, her emotional limbic system now had deactivated the associations between those 2 painful events. RELIEF INDEED!

How beautiful to help remove feelings of devastation, and replace them with hope and possibility! I feel such heartfelt thanks for the power of this amazing tool called EFT.

Warm Regards,
Suzanne i.b. Lerner, PhD


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