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Children

General

Flexible approach to EFT pulls 10 year old boy out of his 'Dark Place'

EFt Tapping Outdated ImageNote: This is one of 3,000 articles written prior to the updated Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tapping Tutorial™. As a result, it is likely outdated. It provides practical uses for EFT Tapping but you should also explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT, by reading our free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™, and/or get help from a Certified EFT Practitioner.

Hi Everyone,

Christine Moran from the UK allows her creativity and intuition to assist her in achieving a first class EFT result. She says, "Within a week I had reports from three different staff that teach Chris at school who were astounded at the instant transformation that he presented the next Monday morning at school. They had no idea that he had been to see me.  They noted how much he contributed in class, answering questions and volunteering to help - apparently he had not actively contributed for about one year before.  In the playground he organized games and helped other children join in AND he was happy....Chris has astounded me by the changes he made that day and those changes have lasted."

Hugs, Gary


By Christine Moran

Chris's mum (Elaine) who was a regular user of EFT rang and told me that her son (Chris--age 10) was stuck in a 'dark place' and she couldn't think a good way to approach his sadness using EFT.  She said his grief was due to how he felt at school.  Elaine had done her research with the school staff to uncover more about his sadness.  It seemed that Chris was not verbally or physically bullied as such, but because he felt no one liked him, he had dropped into an increasingly depressive state.  When he reached my practice room, he looked every bit a 60 year old man, drooped in the shoulders, looking at the ground with facial features grey and strained.

His mum sat in an adjacent room while Chris and I began to talk.  At first I asked him about things outside school to try and put him at ease.  I asked him about hobbies, where he likes to go and things that make him happy.  His words were filled with negative gloom and he held a very dismal outlook on life.  I literally felt the black clouds looming over him and I started to feel the burden affect my outlook.

We spent some time in an attempt to uncover the layers of his woe.  His mum had told me that he has always had difficultly making friends and she thought that being an only child was a big factor.  He felt: left out at school, different, and not like the other kids.

I showed Chris the tapping points and explained that I use tapping to sort out my sad energy sometimes.  I also got him to log onto my children's EFT website which lists out loads of children's issues.  He looked at some of them and said, "Oh, so I'm not the only odd one!"

We used our hands to measure the intensity of his issues instead of using numbers when we worked through all of the aspects listed below.  Children usually prefer this and in the case of Chris, the fewer words the better.  So for starters we tapped together on: Even though I get upset because I feel left out at school, but I'm still a good boy.  I checked that he was OK about the words we were using.  I am always careful to use words that are meaningful to a child - you are really wasting your time otherwise.

I always feel different from the other children … I don't like football … I don't like the games they play … they are too rough … I feel like no one wants to play with me. Each time, we re-measured the strength of his feeling and we made slow and gradual progress towards hands getting closer together.

Then he said, "When I think the others are talking about me I get a ringing in my ears."  We tapped on those words and I asked him if he had to take a guess why his ears ring loud what might be the reason.  He said, "I guess that when my ears ring I can't hear what they are saying."  I asked what he thought they were saying and he said, "Hmm, actually I don't think they are talking about me, but I get scared in case I might hear something I don't like.”  We tapped for Even though they might be talking about me and that makes me scared, I'm still a good boy

Typically by this stage I would be getting feedback that the session was moving in the direction that the client had desired.  In the case of Chris, I had a hunch that he was resistant to let go of some of these feelings.  I felt that this sadness (as he called it) was part of his story and would be lost without it.  

For me, this was confirmed by two things.  I asked him how he would feel if he no longer had this sadness and he said, "I think I will always feel sad."  Then, I did the arm test (muscle test) for reversal and he showed more positive on "I want to keep this sadness.”

I decided it would be a good idea to change tactics at this stage, but I wasn't sure how.  I instinctively stood up and I wandered across to the other side of my office (a break state in NLP terms).  I reached into a cupboard which had some craft materials and don't ask me why, but I pulled out a piece of cardboard.  The card was coloured - at one end it had bright rainbow colours, which gradually faded to the other end with dark greys and then black right on the end.

I placed it on the table in front of Chris and something clicked.  His silence broke.  "I'd like to be there," he said pointing to the bright coloured area.  I asked him where he was and he pointed to a corner of the black.  We measured and then tapped:

Even though I'm in the black area, I know I'm a good boy. After one round I could see visual changes in him and I altered the statement to

Even though I'm in the black area now, I may not always choose to be here.

Even though I' m in the black area now, I may decide to feel differently about how people see me. 

Suddenly after three rounds, he jumped up and announced, "I'm not in the black area any more … I don't care what other people think."  I wanted to be very careful that he hadn't just decided to pay lip service to the reframe, so I asked him what happened.  He said, "I need to get rid of it."  He pointed to the black bit.  I asked him how he could do that and he said, "I'd like to rip it off and get rid of it."  I told him I needed to be sure that he really wanted to get rid of it and asked, "Do you think I should keep it here in my drawer in case you want to be sad again?" I was testing his willingness to reframe.

"No, I want to get rid of it forever."  The metaphor of the colours in the cardboard had given Chris an opportunity to let go.  This boy's attitude was changing dramatically before my eyes. I asked him what he would do with it then.  He said, "Rip it into bits soooo small and put them into your bin."

I said we could do even better than that and I brought him outside into the garden where Chris ripped up the black card end into tiny pieces, dropped them into the bin saying, "I'm done with you sad thoughts for good."  He stood in the bin and jumped up and down on the rubbish until he was exhausted.  His face was bright, his posture upright, he beamed broadly.  He jumped out of the bin, back through the office, grabbing the remainder of the coloured piece of card and literally leapt into the waiting room grabbing his mum by the hand saying, "It's gone Mum, I'm not the same." Elaine smiled but seemed a little bewildered by the dramatic changes. She wasn't the only one.

Within a week I had reports from three different staff that teach Chris at school who were astounded at the instant transformation that he presented the next Monday morning at school. They had no idea that he had been to see me.  They noted how much he contributed in class, answering questions and volunteering to help - apparently he had not actively contributed for about one year before.  In the playground he organized games and helped other children join in AND he was happy.

All the staff who noticed the changes pounded on his mum that evening to ask - What did you do for him?  They could not believe the change in him.  Elaine explained about tapping and put the welfare teacher in contact with me.  Now, seven months later, Chris is transformed.  He knows that he is a bit different from the other boys at school, but he told me that he doesn't care because he is "Still a brilliant boy." I was so chuffed I made him a business card that he is proud of that says, Chris - Still the Brilliant Boy.

Chris has astounded me by the changes he made that day and those changes have lasted.  He still taps when he needs to and what's more, he doesn't mind if others see him do it.  In fact if a child asks him what he is doing the teachers told me that he is happy to show them how to tap.  I run introductory tapping workshops for school children and teachers in many schools, and run individual sessions for children and/or parents.  I love the empowering impact of tapping for children and all to help with our issues large and small.

Christine

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