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Turning around a manipulative child

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Hi Everyone,

This clever use of EFT by Gretchen Gardner turns an angry, manipulative child into a calm, compliant one.

Hugs, Gary

by Gretchen Gardner

I picked up my 5 year old granddaughter at school. As we were driving along, I informed her that we were going to see Dr Pam (she doesn't like Dr. Pam and has a fear of her). She said in a very distressed voice, "I don't want to go to Dr Pam. I have a headache, and she will only make it worse."

I didn't talk about why we were going because she already knew, and she would probably have tried to talk me out of it. Nor did I mention the word "headache" because she would probably have tried to convince me it was real and try to manipulate me with it. Instead, I simply suggested that tapping might make her feel better. She agreed to go along with it, and I thought of using the short form and suggested that we start with the K.C. point. I, in the driver's seat and she, in the back seat, began tapping while I used the following statements alternately,

"I don't want to go to Dr Pam, and I am an awesome kid."

"I don't want to go to Dr Pam, and I can still feel good."

Right away she said, "I'm not tapping on the point. I'm hitting this hand, and this hand is you." I indicated that I understood and that was ok, then continued with the tapping on myself and the statements. Then the hand became her mother who had made the appointment with Dr Pam. I acknowledged that and continued tapping using the statements.

Before I finished all the points (surrogately), she had stopped hitting her hand and said she was done. I simply said, "Ok, that's fine," and stopped tapping as we pulled into Dr Pam's parking lot.

As a transition from the session, I began to talk with her about a big sign in the parking lot and the building we were about to enter. There was no mention of not wanting to go nor of a headache. We went in, she pressed the elevator button, and she went with me into the waiting room happily.

What I liked about this EFT session was that I was able to avoid all the possible pitfalls of getting into a standoff with an angry child. I purposely did not use the words "mad" or "angry." I stuck with her words, "I don't want to go to Dr Pam." I neither acknowledged nor denied the headache. I figured that the statement, "I can still feel good" would get close enough to that and cover other territory as well. I let it be ok that she was hitting her hand instead of tapping the points. And, once again, it all worked out in the most surprising way. The process and the results never cease to amaze me.

Yours sincerely,

Gretchen Gardner

More articles on Children's Issues


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