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EFT helps morbidly obese woman to stop feeling hungry

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Hi Everyone,

Here is a classic case by Carol Solomon that beautifully displays the link between obesity and unresolved emotions. As Carol says, "What Jean didn’t get from her family, she gave to herself in the form of food.  Jean didn’t think that she could get love and attention from her family, so she “settled” for food."

Hugs, Gary

By Carol Solomon, Ph.D., PCC

Dear Gary,

My client “Jean” was morbidly obese and had been unable to lose weight for many years.  No matter what she tried, it would only last a short time before her eating got out of control again.  Like many clients with persistent food and weight issues, Jean was holding onto old childhood hurts.  She felt deprived as a child.  Her mother was emotionally needy, and her sister “the beautiful one” got most of the attention.  Jean only got attention for being “responsible.”

What Jean didn’t get from her family, she gave to herself in the form of food.  Jean didn’t think that she could get love and attention from her family, so she “settled” for food.

It didn’t stop her from continuing to try to get their approval, even as an adult.  Jean spent her entire life in search of the love and attention she didn’t get from her family, and hating herself for not being the one that they gave it to.

Jean’s low self-esteem led to excessive pleasing behavior, hiding her true self and the inability to set limits.  I don’t know anything that will create stress more quickly than saying “yes” to everything!

Hanging onto her excess weight became a symbol for the only kind of attention Jean thought she could get.  These patterns became obvious in one of my EFT sessions with her.

“Even though I need to be needed...” 

“Even though I need to show them how responsible I am…”

She added:

“Even though my fat gives me negative attention, otherwise they ignore me, I love and accept myself anyway.” 

“Even though I’ve spent my whole life breaking my back trying to please them, I am now ready to approve of myself.”

At this point, Jean said her back started to hurt.

“Even though they give me a backache...” 

Then the pain moved to her neck. 

“Even though they are a big pain in the neck, I love and accept myself completely.” 

“Even though I keep trying to please them anyway, I choose to know it’s not working.” 

“Even though I can’t accept that I’m not going to get the attention I want from them, I love and accept myself completely.” 

“Even though I can’t say no because they might think I’m not responsible, and that’s all I have...”

“Even though I need to hang onto this fat to get attention, otherwise I’m invisible, I love and accept myself anyway.” 

“Even though I’m still trying to prove myself, I APPROVE OF MYSELF and I accept where I am in this process.” 

“Even though I’m STILL trying to get their approval after all these years, I choose to know that I don’t have to please them.  It doesn’t work anyway and I am now ready to please myself.”

GC COMMENT: In addition to the above good work by Carol, her past issues could be broken down into specific events and the sting from these events could be "tapped away." This is my favorite to proceed in a case like this.

CAROL CONTINUES: Jean’s back and neck pain disappeared immediately.  After this session, she tapped for a few minutes per day, for about a month using a combination of these statements.  I encouraged her to make EFT a daily practice.

She is now steadily losing 1-2 lb. per week, and has stopped feeling “hungry” all the time.  As a bonus, she no longer feels that she needs to say “yes” to every request and is feeling much happier.

With love,

Carol Solomon, Ph.D.

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