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Articles & Ideas


EFT for discomfort with networking - an interesting solution

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to peruse our Free Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tutorial™ for a more complete understanding.

Hi Everyone,

I really like this approach by Pamela Bruner. Note how her client couldn't find a "real" specific event and so opted to go with an imaginary one. Pamela says, "I told her that since the important thing was to clear the emotions and the energy disruption, we could work equally well with an invented memory as we could with a real one."

Hugs, Gary

By Pamela Bruner, EFTCert-I

I think that the following case is fascinating because it demonstrates using an imagined memory that seemed to have no connection to the current situation. And it shows we make progress simply by focusing on the energy disruption in any way that we can access it.

Gina (not her real name) came to me for a discomfort with networking events. Although she felt that she was a competent coach, even an excellent one, whenever she went to a networking event she would feel very emotional, and often cry when they were over. She felt that this was hurting her career, and wanted to enjoy networking events.

Gina related that her fear didn't seem to be connected to a fear of public speaking, since she had many times addressed groups both smaller and larger than the networking events she had tried. I asked her what, specifically, she had experienced at the networking event.

She reported that while she sat there waiting for her turn to speak, she felt like she wanted to bolt from the room, and felt like she wanted to cry. She felt very disliked by the group, almost hated.

I asked if, consciously or rationally she felt that the group disliked her, if she had any evidence of this. She said no, this was just a feeling. She knew it was irrational, but it was overpoweringly strong.

I then asked her to close her eyes, and think back in her past to see if she had had those feelings prior to the networking event. She immediately said 'I see myself on a playground, but that's funny - I've never seen that playground before, that's not a real memory. It's just a flash of imagination.' She then attempted to find a 'real' memory with those feelings but was unable to.

I told her that since the important thing was to clear the emotions and the energy disruption, we could work equally well with an invented memory as we could with a real one. GC COMMENT: Excellent approach. You can even have people make up an event.

I asked if she could tune into the playground again, and feel those uncomfortable feelings that were similar to the ones from the networking event. She was immediately in touch with the feelings.

I asked her what was going on in the playground, and to describe the scene. Gina related that she seemed to be about 8 years old, and that there were lots of children around, and that they were going to do something together, like build a clubhouse. She reported feeling excited about this. She reiterated that although she could clearly see this scene, she was quite certain it hadn't really happened.

Then, she said, a little dark-haired boy appeared and all the children started looking to him for leadership. This created some intensity (a 6 on the 0 to 10 scale), so we stopped here and tapped.

Even though they are all looking at him, and listening to him, and they hate me, I love and accept myself.
Reminder phrases:
They're all looking at him.
They're all listening to him.
They hate me.

We tapped one complete round, all points, and she reported that the focus had now changed slightly. She now felt 'I want them to listen to me, they aren't listening to me! I just want to hate them for this.' Intensity had changed to a 10 out of 10, and she felt angry and frustrated, and was crying.

Even though they won't listen to me...
Even though it's so frustrating that they won't listen to me...
Even though I want to hate them for ignoring me...

Reminder phrases:
Listen to me!
Why won't you listen to me?
I'm so angry!
I want to hate them all.
I'm so frustrated!
Why won't they listen to me?

One complete round brought the intensity down to a 6 out of 10. She reported that the 'I want to hate them' feeling was gone. We did another round with slightly modified wording:

Even though I think that they should be listening to me, why aren't they listening to me, I have good ideas too for the clubhouse, I love and accept myself now.

Reminder phrases:
They should listen to me.
I have good ideas too.
I want them to listen to me.

This complete round of tapping brought the intensity down to a 2. I asked her what she would like to have happen on the playground - what would be the best outcome for her? She said that she didn't care if the other children took her ideas for the clubhouse or not, she was OK with going with someone else's ideas, she just wanted to make sure that her ideas were heard.

I asked her to begin continuous tapping on all the points, and asked her to visualize the other children listening to her ideas. I asked her to imagine that she was heard, and her ideas carefully listened to. Gina reported that she no longer felt anger at the little dark-haired boy, and felt appreciated by the other children.

I asked her to visualize attending a networking event, and see if she felt any intensity. She reported that she felt the same appreciation in visualizing that event that she had felt visualizing the playground. After checking for any other events that might have contributed to, or resemble these feelings, and not finding them, the session was over.

Follow-up: two months later: Gina reported that she had attended three different networking events, with no recurrence of the discomfort. She had enjoyed the events, and had gotten several new clients from them.

Another success with EFT!
Pamela Bruner, Success Coach, EFTCert-I


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