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Articles & Ideas


When Positive is Negative - Accepting Your Light

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Steve Wells from Australia properly points out that not only do we have negative "limits" to our flowering as human beings but that we also have disowned our positive points. Steve says, "For many of our clients, however, the most disowned parts are actually their positive points, their strengths and their brilliance." This article expands on that point and provides uses of EFT to better harness that disowned potential.

By Steve Wells

Over the past few years I have been working in the area of peak performance and have also been on a personal journey of self-acceptance (See my original posts describing my self-acceptance journey at: )

Well what I have now come to realise is that Self-Acceptance and Peak Performance are actually two sides of the same coin.

In our respective practices and in our Advanced EFT Workshops, Dr David Lake and I have been focusing a lot of attention on treating the "dark side", those disowned parts of self that cause us so much trouble. For many of our clients, however, the most disowned parts are actually their positive points, their strengths and their brilliance. They have trouble acknowledging - and even recognising - their strengths, even though they easily recognise yet fight against their weaknesses. Their life then becomes a daily battle where they suffer the push-pull of internal conflict between these warring parts (conflicting internal self-definitions). Churchill called this an "Internal Civil War." It is a war that we all must ultimately rise above if we are to live our lives as fully manifested human beings, where all parts of us are allowed to peacefully co-exist.

We have now come to see manifestation and goal setting as the process of bringing into the light the disowned parts of ourselves that are yearning for expression. These parts already exist inside us, but their fullest expression is blocked, often due to negative experiences in our formative years. Their suppression in early life, with the resulting fact that we were unable to manifest them fully, has left them clamoring for expression - however the negative associations we have picked up towards them leave us conflicted and suffering the internal push-pull....

Many have said this - It's the person you become in pursuit of your goals that really matters. That person is even now alive within you! And if you can remove the barriers to fullest expression of those parts, and allow yourself to be and become this person, then achievement of your goals occurs with ease - without any inner conflict (and a great deal less outer conflict - as within so without) - so that you are almost drawn to your goals, an attraction process occurs to assist you in their fulfillment. Congruency and alignment allows your energy to flow in the direction of goal achievement without any blocks.

Acknowledging your light, your beauty, and your strengths may be the greatest personal development experience of your life.

Recently, we have been experimenting with several processes that allow people to get in touch with their positive parts using EFT. I'd like to share just two of them here.

1. "Being" Goals.

Identify the ways you would like to be and become. How would you like to describe yourself? Imagine that you are that person now. Hold in your mind an image of you being that person, then step into the image in your mind (If you do not easily visualise it isn't necessary to get an image, just to sense what it would feel like being there). Tap continually on the EFT points whilst holding in mind the intention of connecting with how that would really feel being that person. Do some rounds of tapping on "Even though I AM that..." (For example, "Even though I am a confident, powerful person I fully and completely accept myself."). As you tap, see yourself from within the future you, feeling and behaving as you would feel and behave if you fully embraced that quality. Continue to tap on the EFT points whilst holding the intention to feel the feeling of what it would really be like being in that future place manifesting that state.

When you start on this process you may find there is a great deal of resistance to getting into the desired state. In addition, there will almost certainly be negative tail-enders, which is Gary's term for the negative thoughts that arise to tell you that "You are NOT like that!" This is what you are using EFT to treat. Persist with holding the intention to connect with that success state in your mind whilst continually tapping. As you do, you will soon find that you can access the success state more and more easily. What you are really doing is accepting that state as a part of you (it already is!) and allowing it to be. Ultimately, you may need to do some tapping on past events where you learned that you are not that person, or that you are a different sort of person, however we recommend you set aside some time to do this later. Use this time instead to stay focused on accessing the success feeling.

2. Qualities You Admire.

Identify some of the people you admire and list the qualities they have that you admire most. Realise that you cannot know those qualities without having them yourself. If you have a negative reaction towards accepting this it is because you have disowned these parts of yourself. This is usually due to past significant events where you learned that you are "not that". Do some initial rounds of EFT on the idea of "Even though I have (this quality) I fully and completely accept myself." in preparation for some further rounds of EFT on those significant events where you learned you are "NOT THAT". If the events where you learned this come spontaneously to mind whilst tapping, then focus on those past events one at at time and treat them using the "Tell the Story" or "Run the Movie" techniques as outlined on Gary's website (See: ). If the events don't easily come to mind, then ask yourself "Where did I learn that I am (the opposite of this quality)?" or "Where did I learn that I do not have this (positive quality)?" Then conduct EFT on the memories that come up.

We recommend you do these exercises often. As you connect with your success states, in that moment you are successful. And as you connect with your highest states of being on an ongoing basis, you create the conditions to allow the ongoing manifestation of those ways of being in your life.

To your continued success.

Steve Wells


Explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT™, by reading my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™. More efficient. More powerful.