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Articles & Ideas


EFT for facing those who caused you pain

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Hi Everyone,

Linda Thompson's friend, Nadine, wanted to attend a memorial for a dear friend. However, Nadine carried heavy resentments about many of the other expected attendees. What to do?

Hugs, Gary

By Linda Thompson

Hi Gary!

A very dear friend asked if she could have me do some distance EFT for her.  I read her email and because there were a lot of issues intertwined I preferred to have her in front of me.  She agreed to come after work (a positive affirmation for EFT by itself as she lives at least 1/2 hour away and was having company that evening). 

I'll call her Nadine.  Nadine has been in therapy for a very long time (probably over a decade) for many issues leading usually to anxiety.  The following evening she was to attend a memorial for a lovely woman from Nadine's workplace who had died. 

She really wanted to attend this memorial but felt perhaps she shouldn't go as every single person that ever caused her any pain was going to be there.  As the story unfolded it turned out a person from a past relationship (over 20 years ago) was to be there with other relatives, all of whom knew Nadine and had (supposed) opinions on the whole thing. 

Other friends that had caused her stress over the years were to be there as well as all her old co-workers that also had been around for the old relationship.  And the biggie, which didn't surface until the end of the conversation, was someone who had committed a crime against her was also going to be there. 

Even though this was, naturally, causing her a great deal of stress and fear, she still wanted to pay her respects as she really liked the woman who had passed.  It was as if the Universe had gathered every demon from her closet in one place so that she absolutely had to face up to them.

Where to begin?  I began with the overwhelming feeling of fear and went specifically to the old relationship and relatives.  I made her close her eyes and envision walking into the memorial and the only people there were these people.  They look at her as she walks in.  I asked her to make herself very noticeable.  The fear was a 7 and it was in her chest so we tapped:

Even though I have this intense fear in my chest and I'm not sure I even belong at this memorial…

Even though I know what these people are thinking because I know what people think…

Even though I'm not sure I should go to this memorial, I choose to accept that I am going to pay my respects and even though I know what everyone is thinking because I'm the amazing Kreskin... (she laughed)

The fear moved to her throat and so we tapped on much of the same, just reworded the phrases and it moved to her temples, top of her head, neck and so on.  I figured there had to be someone else popping up when it moved into her face.  This particular person was someone she never spoke up to over the years and so:

Even though I never say what I want to say to…

Even though I have "this person" fear in my face…

Even though I have "this person" stuck in my face…

That went and we went through the rest of the demons and she felt calm and was able to talk about going to the memorial without feeling the fear and anxiety.  This is what she said to me today in an e mail:

“Hi Linda, I would just like to thank you again for all of your help.  I feel much calmer and even had a peaceful nap in the tub.  Last night my sleep was very restful for the first time in a couple of weeks.  My head feels clearer and that is a big relief.  There is even a small part of me that is looking forward to the challenge of tonight.  Just a small part though.” 

I heard from Nadine the day after the memorial.  It went as well as a memorial could go and only a few of her demons showed up.  She was able to handle herself well and even shed a few tears which was another issue; that she felt unable to feel the sorrow and the welling up of tears.  We had tapped on that issue as well.  Even though she did cry she only "felt" it from the neck up...guess we have a little more work to do.

Cheers, Linda Thompson

"If it doesn't feel yummy, don't do it"


Explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT™, by reading my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™. More efficient. More powerful.