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Testing our work and personal radiation

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Hi Everyone,

Below is a thoughtful, well written letter from one of our members. The first part comments on our recent discussions about testing our work and the sort of language that might be appropriate. Good points are made and worth our attention. No comments are necessary on it.

The second part, however, touches on how licensed professionals must interface with their clients and contrasts their restrictions versus mine. I consider this a ripe subject and respond at the end with the idea of Personal Radiation.

FIRST PART OF THE LETTER: "Dear Gary. In a recent phone conversation we had, you told me a story about how Roger Callahan was working with a young boy and had him think about his problem in very descriptive words of the vernacular rather than a more "proper expression." I have begun to do just that both in my own personal work and with clients.

I was surprised to find that even in the privacy of my own head, I tend to label my feelings in a way that lacks the energy of the real thought or feeling. I tend to think that "I am angry about ....." when what I would really like to say is "That pisses me off!" I have begun to experiment on myself and really like the way it feels as I do EFT on me. Occasionally I find myself tapping and saying "This yucky feeling." It certainly doesn't fit the DSM IV but I do know exactly what I mean.

Recently I began to encourage my clients to tell it like it is and have them say their own words as they tap. They like it a lot because it feels right in the context of the work. It also demystifies EFT. It makes it easier for them to practice at home when they don't have to label each feeling the "right" way.

Perhaps by encouraging clients to think and feel in their own words it may help reduce the SUDs even faster....."

SECOND PART OF THE LETTER: "......On the videos I can see how people trust you. BUT you are explicit in saying that you are not a doctor or psychologist, therefore, I think that people allow things from you that they wouldn't from me because of THEIR expectations, not because of our approach. On one video you tap the woman who was molested as a child. I must admit that I flinched when I saw you do it because we are taught that often people like that are very fragile about their boundaries, especially when a male touches them. But she seemed OK with it. I think that is because of who she saw you as and her trust."

GC RESPONSE: While her response to me may have been based somewhat on her sense of trust towards me, I doubt seriously if that was a big player here. I think it was EFT itself that did most of the job. Think about it. EFT did its job even though you couldn't have picked a worse environment for healing. In that scene she was being filmed, people were watching, she was discussing her most intimate issue to a relative stranger (who, to her, was a public speaker and NOT a therapist) AND I was male. It is true that these people ARE often very fragile about their boundaries and they often remain fragile after many conventional therapies. But, with EFT, the problem is often handled so fast and so well that strength quickly replaces fragility. That was certainly the case here. If EFT hadn't done its job, she would have been out of there in an instant. As it was, the problem was resolved in minutes and, months later, as she appears again on the videos, she verifies the problem was STILL resolved. It was nowhere in sight. This is typical (hearty chest pounding while trying to be humble).

LETTER (CONT'D): I don't want to go on too long with this. Have others expressed this difference to you? Please try to understand where those of us with licenses come from. We have both written and unspoken rules because of the nature of OUR relationship with clients and what they think is going to happen.

Thank you for sharing this happening. I think it is very important."

GC RESPONSE: Well said. Licensed therapists have a number of rules and requirements that don't pertain to unlicensed persons such as me. I recognize this. And, indeed, clients carry around a certain set of stereotypical perceptions regarding your conduct. They would be most put off, for example, if you behaved like Hulk Hogan or Madonna.

I suggest, however, that yet another item is affecting our clients perceptions of us. Namely, what we radiate about ourselves. People pick up our attitudes about them, our sense of conviction about what we do, our confidence, our level of caring. We earn their trust and their willingness to proceed by our unspoken mannerisms, our posture, our voices. These things radiate from us as reflections of our own competence and sense of mission. My confidence level with EFT is quite high because I have been doing it for years with hundreds of successes. Clients pick that up and thus allow me to "get away with" strong testing techniques, "questionable" language when necessary, humorous comments and other behaviors that I deem useful when helping a particular client. Many of you are raising your own level of Personal Radiation as your EFT successes accumulate. Our clients aren't the only ones who make progress here.

Further, I don't think I am able to pull this stuff off simply because I don't carry around the stereotype of a licensed therapist. Rather, I think the "permission" I get from the client to be flexible comes more from what I radiate than from some stereotypical image. After all, if my stereotypical image was really a factor no one would deal with me. Who wants to enter into emotional healing with a nerdy engineer that runs around muttering numbers to himself all day long?

Peace, Gary

A Client Speaks on Personal Radiation

Hi Everyone,

The letter below offers a helpful, if not critical, insight. It is from a client who has been in therapy for 15 years. He responds to my recent comments on Personal Radiation and offers us a unique opportunity to see ourselves from the client's point of view. He prefers to remain anonymous.

LETTER: "I have been on the other side of the fence now (patient, client, I actually like warrior best) for about 15 years. I have logged enough research time with more different concepts, therapies, therapists, and talking to other warrior's to give the most ardent PhD's nightmares.

I consider this concept of Personal Radiation to be the most important factor in most therapeutic outcomes. I actually have another term for the process, I like to call it shine, as in the movie the Shining. When I sit down with a therapist, and after we go through the details of my situation, if this feeling of I've been there before, I've done this a number of times before, I'm very comfortable working with this type of situation, and I want to help you deeply is not reflected back to me, at this point I have no interest in working with that person. I don't even care if they developed the therapy.

I'd like to give you my favorite line about healing by Hugh Prather.

"The mind that sees itself as whole and another as sick unquestionably requires healing. True healing is thus expressed within the mind of the healer and not within the body of the patient. When a healer sees that he or she is not separate from the patient-and only love holds this vision-healing is already accomplished."


Explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT™, by reading my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™. More efficient. More powerful.