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Articles & Ideas


I simply could not dance with Gary!!

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Hi Everyone,

Our recent Borrowing Benefits workshops in Flagstaff, AZ exceeded my expectations by a wide margin. While there is still more to do to refine the process, the number of SPECIFIC EVENTS that were substantially relieved by audience members was impressive by any measure. It was well over 1,000.

One of the highlights for me was an on-stage session I had with LaVern Williams regarding her resistance/inability to dance with me. During the breaks I sometimes dance with the lady attendees (we play music during the breaks) and, when I asked LaVern to dance.....she froze. Although our on-stage session was presumably about dancing, there were many other self-confidence issues that were addressed.

LaVern tells of this experience in a letter to Betty Moore-Hafter for publication on Betty's popular EFT list.

To get a clue regarding the wide ranging nature of LaVern's benefits please note the following quotes from her article...

"....the main result is a calm confidence and surety of purpose...."


"Out of this feeling of centeredness, I calmly went about organizing my debut as an EFT practitioner. I've been fascinated by mind/body techniques for years, but had never been able to see myself in the field professionally - in hindsight, my own woundedness needed to be healed, and was it ever!"

Hugs, Gary

By LaVern Williams

Dear Betty,

Here's my account of Flagstaff; it's long, feel free to edit as you wish, and share it with the group as you wish...

I too experienced deep healing of at least one core issue at Flagstaff. I'm still encountering newly healed areas as I integrate back into my everyday world; the main result is a calm confidence and surety of purpose, where before Flagstaff I would have hesitated, sifting through a series of doubts, and perhaps have put off taking action until a future "better" time.

A brief (!!) recap of my Flagstaff experience: I was originally going to work with Gary on stage with an insect/bee phobia, and accordingly found other issues to "borrow benefits" with. I wasn't a 10 on any of them, but I am an absolute master at suppressing my feelings, so I suspect a lot more healing was going on behind the scenes than I was consciously aware of.

I felt an increasing sense of inner peace, calmness, and an interesting yearning to be outside, communing with nature, as the conference progressed. I often stood out in the sunshine during breaks, and just stared at the hotel landscaping. Although I had not done any work on the insect/bee phobia, I didn't feel overly concerned about it - perhaps there was enough covert commonality with my other issues that this one partially collapsed?

Then what has turned out to be a huge turning point in my life's path occurred: at breaks, music was played, and when it was ballroom dance music, Gary, wonderful dancer that he is, would dance a few measures with several different women. It was lovely; at one point it seemed that the warm glow of candlelight surrounded Gary and the dancers, as though they were in a vibrant, enchanted three dimensional world while the rest of the conference room was artificially lit, two dimensional, and not particularly appealing.

Gary looked over at me, and invited me with his eyes to dance with him. Imagine a deer caught in headlights. A rabbit freezing at the sight of a hawk. I experienced a combination of frozen terror, profound sadness, and deep yearning. Big time trigger here. I simply could not dance with Gary - and he kept trying to get my attention. I finally managed to shake my head "no", and Gary went on to his next partner. After getting a grip (crying in public is not a common occurrence for me, although you sure wouldn't know it if you saw me at the last day of the conference...), I talked to Gary at the next break to make sure he understood that not dancing with him was my issue, and was not a rejection of him. We decided to drop the bee phobia and go with the "dance trauma".

When it was time for my one-on-one with Gary on the stage, I was surprised to feel essentially no stage fright, although I have never been in front of such a large audience before. Perhaps my growing calmness and sense of peace from the previous three days of the conference healed whatever might have caused stage fright; I did express stage fright qualms when I spoke with Gary on the phone prior to the conference.

My actual time on stage with Gary is extremely surreal; I remember freeze frame snapshots, and short vignettes, but it feels very jumbled. It will be fascinating to observe the experience through the camera's lens when the videos of the conference come out. Essentially, Gary led me through an amazingly healing dance experience. When I have tried to dance in the past, it almost invariably ended badly, and I related some of these incidents on stage.

Then Gary actually coaxed me into dancing with him, taking one small step at a time, with (I assume) plenty of tapping. I can not access many memories of the actual tapping, although Betty assures me that it did occur. At the end, I was actually comfortable, relaxed, at ease dancing with Gary on stage, in front of 150+ people, being filmed! Interestingly, I simply DID NOT CARE that people might be judging my appearance, my dancing ability, my shoe size - whatever. I was having a great time dancing with Gary, living entirely in the moment.

After the conference ended, I felt very emotional (one wonderful man whose name escapes me just held me while I got all teary eyed - if you're reading this, wonderful man, I absolutely want you to ask me to dance with you next time we meet!), and elated at the same time. And I danced! What fun! The healing continued on my way home - I'd feel an upwelling of wordless emotion, usually grief/sorrow, and I'd tap on the emotion, and it would subside.

This was fantastic healing in and of itself, but yet another surprise was in store for me when I arrived home. I was emotionally wrung out, but again, calmness and peacefulness enveloped me. Out of this feeling of centeredness, I calmly went about organizing my debut as an EFT practitioner. I've been fascinated by mind/body techniques for years, but had never been able to see myself in the field professionally - in hindsight, my own woundedness needed to be healed, and was it ever!

The first step I took was to contact a local adult education center that offers fun, short classes to the community, and proposed that I teach an EFT class. They agreed, we worked up a class description, and it will be in their course offerings either this July or in the fall. I didn't really plan to do this - it simply was an obvious step to take - I'm looking for more opportunities to share EFT, investigating other training that would enhance my effectiveness with EFT, figuring out the administrivia of the business side, etc. All this with a calm certainty that this is my proper life course. I absolutely did not expect (or even imagine!) this end result when I signed up for the conference, and my personal borrowing benefits issues did not relate to the professional use of EFT.

To sum up these many words: I didn't realize that I was so limited in my thinking and personal life path vision, and when Gary got to those core issues involving rejection, unworthiness in the eyes of others, and probably a few more for good measure, the resulting healing and clearing of the debris gave me a clear vision of myself, and the confidence to not only clearly see my goals, but to matter-of-factly pursue them, to do what needs to be done to make myself available to help those who I am supposed to be helping.

Many hugs,

LaVern Williams


Explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT™, by reading my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™. More efficient. More powerful.