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Other Emotional Issues


Interesting way to use EFT & Tappy Bear for a broken heart

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to peruse our Free Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tutorial™ for a more complete understanding.

Hi Everyone,

You will enjoy this surrogate case by Helena Summer Medena wherein EFT rapidly minimized her client's "love pain." The clever wrinkle here is that Helena had her client use EFT on a toy bear as though the bear was the fellow who broke off the relationship.

Hugs, Gary

By Helena Summer Medena

Recently my client, "Joy" met the "man of her dreams" online. She was young, beautiful, and vivacious. "Peter" was an unusual, funny, interesting fellow. They lived a few hours away and decided to try their love on the phone to see if they would retain their interest in pursuing each other.

They had a quite passionate love affair using internet, text messaging and phone calls. Finally, they decided to meet in person. Since it was practical for her schedule, she was about to go to meet him. They were both so excited and happy. Their friends and family shared the same feelings. The trip was scheduled. Then, she never heard from him again. She was missing him and wondering what happened.

Out of the blue, Joy received the worst "Dear John" letter ever - "I am not going to pursue a relationship with you. This is not open for discussion. Hence forth I will no longer be in communication with you." She was devastated. Sad, perplexed, confused, regretful, lonely.

Being my client, Joy was using EFT to tap on those feelings, but results were minimal. That was surprising, because she had used EFT in her previous break up and results were fascinating. This time, she felt stuck.

Every morning, upon arising, her first thought was Peter and every night before falling asleep, she held her pillow, thinking of him. This went on for days and days.

Joy decided to come to my office and work one-on-one. We addressed the strongest feelings. After answering the question, "When do you remember feeling that way before?" we tapped on two memories she had (totally unrelated with romance).

GC COMMENT: Good. This brings us down to specific events, the most likely way to be efficient for challenging cases.

Tappy Bear is a regular friend that sits on the shelf next to the clients' chair in my office. For those not familiar with him, Tappy Bear is a specially designed stuffed bear with buttons where the tappinig points would be. You can likely buy one by putting Tappy Bear into Google.

She took the Bear to hold and then I got the brilliant idea - surrogate tapping for Peter, using Tappy Bear. I asked Joy to imagine what is it that Peter would have had to feel in order to send that email while they had been so lovey-dovey over one another. She was quick with the answer: "Probably fear, or inadequacy to handle me, maybe doubt. "

We placed Tappy Bear on her lap and she pretended for Tappy Bear to be Peter, saying the words he would probably say to express his feelings:

Even though I am scared of this online dating...
Even though I would rather be single than vulnerable...
Even though there is something fearful about opening to love, I am ok anyway.

Joy liked that and she felt a connection with Peter. Connection in love, not connection in pain. Then, I used a typical routine that I use with couples, where they look at each other and repeat the same words:

Even though I don't know what happened to you (and to me) I accept you and I accept me.
Even though part of me wants to blame you and say it's your fault, another part of me is ok and knows better.
Even though I miss you, and you probably miss me too, it's ok, we are just two kids in love still learning how to date.

That brightened her up even more. She started feeling like a "reasonable woman" (her words) and wanted to complete with another optimistic round

Even though we had just a short and sweet love affair, it was fun, thank you.
Even though I wanted to explore more, I choose to be grateful for what we had
Even though I feel I will always miss you and never find someone like you, the truth is, I was fine before I met you and now I am just richer, thank you.

And that night was the first night when Joy woke up and her first thought was not about Peter. She kept tapping with a goal in her mind - for him to be happy with someone else.

Shortly after, she made a new friend, a very Delicious guy. Now they are dating and Tappy Bear is still smiling!

Helena-Summer Medena


Explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT™, by reading my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™. More efficient. More powerful.