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Other Emotional Issues

Anger Management

Stubborn anger issue falls to 0 with emphatic "say what you feel" wording.

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

This succinct case by Raul Vergini, MD from Italy illustrates two important points: (1) how EFT tends to bring up deeper emotions for higher quality work and (2) how using emphatic "what you feel" words in the EFT Setup phrase can create results where you might otherwise be stopped.

By Raul Vergini, MD

Several days ago I had a nice demonstration of the importance of using the correct "wording" in the EFT Setup. I report it here, thinking it could interest you.

I saw a woman with a complete alopecia (hair loss) for 20 years. When I asked about possible emotional issues underlying her alopecia, she told me that she and her husband lived with her husband's father. She felt very angry and humiliated when the father told her that he didn't want her in his home in that condition (without hair). He even offered money to her in exchange for her leaving. Of course she didn't leave, but her relationship with her husband's parents remained strained.

We worked on this anger with EFT and she easily went down from 6 to 0. Then she told me that there was another anger and humiliation emotion coming up, that was not evident before.

GC COMMENT: This "new emotion" happens with some frequency with EFT. It has a way of clearing surface emotions and thus allowing deeper ones to appear.

DR. VERGINI CONTINUES: She was very angry with her husband too, because he was "on his father's side" (he didn't tell her to leave, but he told her was not happy at all to have a wife without hair). Her anger for this now was an 8. We worked on this anger using the following Setup, "Even though my husband, 20 years ago, told me...".

She went down to 6 after one EFT round. Then we did some more rounds using the reminder phrase of "remaining anger", but with no result. She was still a 6. We tried with the humiliation thing, but she was still a 6. I asked her if there was some other aspect coming up, but she said no.

So I told her, maybe something is wrong with the way you say the Set-up phrase. Please note that you have to say what you feel, not use "polite" words if you think "unpolite" things. She understood and changed her set-up to:...

"Even though that asshole, 20 years ago, told me...". Bingo!

After only a short-cut sequence (eyebrow to underarm) her intensity went down to 2, and with another round it was 0.

Big satisfaction and big lesson. Sometimes we need to "tell it like it is" with our wording.

Raul Vergini,MD


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