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Other Emotional Issues


EFT brings healing to a whole family while one woman heals her grief

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Hi Everyone,

This touching story by Christine Cloutier from Canada shows remarkable creativity and impressive EFT language.

Hugs, Gary

By Christine Cloutier, EFT-ADV

Hi Gary,

I was invited by an acquaintance to do an EFT Workshop in her home for her family and a few friends.  Her sister, Carla, was one of the volunteers.  This is the story of Carla's amazing healing.  My wish is that this account will help give hope to some grieving mothers out there.  This is also a good Borrowing Benefits example.

P.S. The names are fictitious but the people aren't.


Carla had been pregnant for 7 months when she was told her child would not live very long.  She was induced three times before she gave birth to Brian.  After the birth, she refused to hold Brian.  The delivery had been very difficult for Carla and she was left exhausted.  I was told later that she almost died from this experience.  Twenty years later, she still carried a painful guilty feeling because she refused to hold her baby.  Brian died a few minutes after birth.

At first she could not speak, so I tapped for her saying:

Even though I am carrying this pain…

It took a few rounds of tapping on this pain before she could actually name the pain, which was the guilt about not holding her son before he died.

Even though I feel the pain in my heart…

Even though it hurts so much…

Even though I feel a great deal of guilt for not holding Brian…

Even though I still feel guilty about not holding my son…

Even though I feel like I am a bad mother for not holding my baby…

Even though I could not possibly hold him and I feel so bad about this…

Even though I gave everything I had and there was no more to give…

After 20 minutes, she was at a level of intensity of 4 on a scale of 0 to 10.  We took a break and I noticed that her sisters were all crying, as well as a couple of other guests.  There were some skeptics in that room before we started but when they witnessed what was going on and how fast the healing process was taking place, they were blown away. 

I need to mentioned that Carla's sisters were tapping along and borrowing benefits and they all felt a great deal of heat traveling throughout their bodies.  The energy in that room was palpable.  As well, everyone felt love and compassion for Carla's pain and suffering.

After the break, I asked Carla about her level of intensity and she was still at a 4 out of 10.  She was willing to leave it at this but I convinced her that she would feel a lot better if we got it down to a 0.  She agreed to continue and we tapped on the remaining feeling of guilt.  Even though I still feel guilty for not holding Brian…

Then I asked her to repeat what I was saying while I tapped on all the points one by one.

Even though I still feel some guilt about not holding Brian, it has been 20 years and maybe I could let this go … I am sure Brian would not want me to suffer that long … Maybe I could forgive myself for not holding him after all I just could not do it.

I asked her if the dad was present at the birth and she said yes and he was the one who was holding Brian when he died.  At this point, I asked her to listen to me while I was tapping on her:

Even though I was not available for Brian, his dad was … I had the privilege to nurture him when he was with me for those 7 months … Brian received all the love he could get from both parents … Dad had the chance also to hold his son before he past away.  That way Brian had the chance to experience the love of Mom and the love of Dad … Maybe I could let go of all my pain and remember how precious and how much I loved this little being and how much he gave me before he left … It was short but that love will never die … Maybe I can thank him for those short but wonderful months where I cradle him within me … Maybe I could just celebrate his short time on earth that affected my whole family … Brian managed to produce and undeniable bond between my sisters and I … That was his gift to you … It is time to let him go and to thank him for his gift … Thank You Brian and Good Bye.  I love you.

It took about 10 minutes of tapping, Carla was much better, and her level of intensity was at 0.  I asked her to visualize Brian, and tell us what she saw.  She smiled and said that she saw Brian smiling.  When she opened her eyes, she was radiating such peace.  Her face was totally transformed.  She said that she felt a lot lighter now and a little tired.

I call this Family Therapy. All the sisters benefited from that tapping session as well as all the other participants.  Everyone was deeply moved and affected by this experience.  Almost everyone was in tears.  The tissue box made the rounds.

As a secondary effect, Carla, woke up the next day without a neck pain that had bothered her for at least, you guessed it, 20 years.  It has been a month and she is still waking up feeling great.  What a beautiful gift EFT is for all of us.

Thank You Gary,

Christine Cloutier EFT-ADV

Host's Note:

I was very surprised that my sister volunteered to be on the hot seat.  She is a very introverted person, she doesn't share her feelings.  In fact, I did not know she hadn't held Brian before he died.  She was really impressed with EFT and I am overjoyed that she has finally released this guilt that has been dragging her down for the last 20 years.  She is finally smiling and enjoying her life.

Thank you Christine


Explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT™, by reading my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™. More efficient. More powerful.