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Other Emotional Issues

Panic And Anxiety

Anxiety and the fear of being alone

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Hi Everyone,

With some frequency, we see clients with a blend of anxiety, trauma, physical pain and other issues. These problems are often so intertwined and "inter-causal" (new word?) that's it hard to know which causes what. However, there are usually some common core issues underlying them.

In the case below, Gwenn Bonnell's anxious client comes in complaining of a physical issue (pain in her side). After that subsides, several traumas and anxiety prone issues come to the surface. As you will see, Gwenn takes these apart and EFT's them individually throughout a long session. The client exhibits impressive relief even after Gwenn tests the results by running mental "movies" of the events. Despite these tests, the old emotional reactions are nowhere to be found.

I think you will find this case widely applicable to many people.

Hugs, Gary

by Gwenn Bonnell

Hi Gary,

I had a woman, in her 50's, come to me because she had developed a sharp pain in her right side, under her ribs, that she felt with every breath. She came to me (I advertise as specializing in alleviating pain) because she was getting ready to go to Colorado with her husband and she was concerned over this breathing pain. Not only did she have to fly, but she was going skiing, so she would be in high altitudes where it was more difficult to breath anyway.

During the previous two weeks, she had been to various doctors and had some tests run to find out what was causing this pain, with no definitive answers. It only took a few rounds of EFT to get rid of this breathing pain in her right side; then she relaxed, opened up and started telling me her story.

She was going through menopause, with a lot of up and down emotions, during the past five or six months. She had lost a lot of weight, being so anxious that she couldn't eat or sleep; she basically just cried a lot. And she suspected her husband (this is her second, only married a few years) of cheating on her. If not physically, he was at least emotionally involved with another woman. She was very insecure over this because her first husband began cheating on her very early into their marriage, in fact she was pregnant with their second child at the time (she has three grown children from her first marriage).

She had been placed on Prozac by a therapist she had been seeing; however, this therapist didn't seem to be helping her. She had discontinued the Prozac after a few months. At one point in her therapy sessions with the previous therapist, she mentioned suicide, so there was a big hullabaloo over that, and she sort of clammed up with that therapist after that. And she said she was actually dreading this trip with her husband, and had even been thinking of ways to back out of it.

So we began treating "Even though I am afraid my husband is cheating on me..." and she became a lot calmer. Said she could look at it without her insides getting tied up in knots. After a few more rounds, the anxiety was gone.

Then we began treating the feeling of sadness she had when she thought of the time she discovered her first husband was cheating on her. This uncovered instances of abuse from her childhood. Her mother died very young, and her father tried to raise her. But by age 5, he gave her up for adoption. That is when she emigrated to America. She was adopted by a couple with no other children. And, her stepfather began sexually abusing her.

When she told her stepmother about it, she totally dismissed it (I guess this is common?) So she grew up always in fear of her stepfather coming into her room at night. And with the thought pattern that if men abuse her and she stands up for herself they will leave her (words from her stepfather). Her terrible fear was of being alone. And although she has worked her entire adult life, and has a good job, and had been through a divorce and managed to support herself and raise her son, she still had a fear of being on her own.

So we talked about how she has been able to handle life on her own, and how she deserves a man that will treat her decently, and that when she loves herself enough to demand that, she will get it. We used EFT to treat her fear of being alone, that she doesn't have to take any kind of abuse (mental, emotional or physical) from men anymore, and how she deserves love, from herself and others.

This turned into a rather long session. Thankfully it was on a weekend and I had no other clients scheduled. I will never forget her reaction after our session was over - she was asking God to bless me a thousand times over! Not only was her physical pain gone, but emotionally and mentally she was so at peace.

She kept looking all over for the emotions we had released, we played a lot of "movies" over and over again to get reactions, but she said she felt so free like a great weight was lifted from her. She ended up going to Colorado with her husband and related that it was like a second honeymoon! I could tell such a difference in her voice when she called me after the vacation - life was fun again for her, and she had me laughing telling me stories about her trip.

This is a great example of how I get people in with physical pains that are really just symptoms of anxieties and traumas - and how treating the physical pain relaxes them enough to open up about the real underlying issue! Most of the time we can trace it back to their childhoods.

Love & light,

Gwenn Bonnell

More articles on Panic Relief and Anxiety Relief


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