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Fears And Phobias


EFT for the fear of failure/success -- this time with an actress

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to peruse our Free Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tutorial™ for a more complete understanding.

Hi Everyone,

This is how Aileen Nobles' successful article begins, "My client is an actress and, although she was consistently in commercials, she had not had any acting roles in movies or television for quite a while. She was filled with fear that she would never make it as an actress. She was also having bouts of feeling depressed." Please note the global approaches Aileen uses for this common problem. This provides you an opportunity to study her language for clues to specific events that may bring about even deeper results. A great exercise.

Hugs, Gary

By Aileen Nobles

My client is an actress and, although she was consistently in commercials, she had not had any acting roles in movies or television for quite a while. She was filled with fear that she would never make it as an actress. She was also having bouts of feeling depressed.

She was now dealing with "fear and doubt." What if she couldn't be successful as an actress?"
"What if she wasn't good enough?" It was time for some clearing. We started rubbing on the sore spot on her chest:

Even though I don't feel good enough to be successful...
Even though a part of me thinks I won't make it big...
Even though a part of me doesn't think I will succeed, another part of me thinks I will, and either way, I am quite wonderful anyway.

We went into the basic round of tapping the EFT points while saying the following reminder phrases:

I have this fear that I'm not going to be successful.
I've reached the ripe old age of 42, so when am I going to succeed?
I don't feel successful.
I've been in commercials and a lot of people haven't...that's being successful.
I'm 42 and feeling a bit desperate because I haven't made it.
I know I'm really good at what I do.
I haven't reached my goals, life is over, it's too late I'm 42.
There's no hope, I'll never make it.

She was laughing through a tear or two.

I can't believe I have these thoughts sometimes.
Sometimes they creep in and I can't bear the pain, and sometimes I have to numb them out.
I feel like a failure.

The words "failure" triggered floods of tears that took her completely by surprise.

I asked her where else in her life she felt like a failure and she went straight to not being able to conceive a child. The intensity was a 9 on a scale of 0 to 10. We tapped on:

Even though I feel like a failure because I couldn't get pregnant, I'm quite wonderful anyway.

I then had her close her eyes and go back to a time when felt disappointed in herself. She found a sub-personality who was 36 and realized she couldn't get pregnant. She tapped on herself as she talked to that part of her explaining that she was a future self. The 36 year old gradually became more calm and peaceful. I had Susan tap on this sub-personality for feelings of having failed for not being able to get pregnant as I tapped on her.

She assured this part of her that she is loved by her future self just the way she is. She explained that if the 36 year old was feeling OK about the situation then it would help her future self also. When this part was feeling OK about herself, Susan continued with her own tapping. There was still some intensity around sadness, which was another aspect affecting her. We tapped sadness down to a 1 out of 10, as she wanted to hold on to a teeny bit of it. Then we focused on clearing her anger.

Even though I'm angry at the universe, the universe has let me down, that's how it feels in my small picture...
Even though I'm so angry; things didn't work out the way I wanted...
Even though I have a right to be angry in the small picture, but there is a bigger picture...
Even though perhaps everything is in divine order, I just don't know the bigger picture...
Even though I am the only one that is hurting by holding on to this anger...
Even though anger isn't bringing me a baby or signing my pay check, so why I am holding on to it?

Her anger was now at a zero. We continued tapping:

Although I feel that now I've hit 42 nothing is going to happen, but what if that's when it begins to happen?

Even though I've spent all this time focusing on what's not happening, what a waste of time ... What if this is a great year for me? I believe it's coming. I allow it.

At that point, I felt very strongly that she was not allowing it. Why? I had her go within and ask, "Why am I not allowing myself success?" Susan said she remembered saying to herself. "If I can't have a baby, then let me have my career." But neither was happening. I had her tap on:

"If can't have a baby then I don't deserve to be successful." Floods of tears cascaded down her cheeks. "I decided to punish myself by not allowing success."

We tapped on letting go of self-punishment until all feelings of failure, sadness and anger were non-existent. We tapped on the baby issue being separate from being an actress.

Whether I get to be a mother or not in this lifetime, I am a fine actress.
Even though I may not become a mother in this lifetime, I choose to be a successful actress.
My time is coming up for success. I believe its coming, its just a matter of timing.
I can't control timing; I've proven that, I have to trust divine timing.
I've proven how useless I am at controlling timing and then I get angry because it isn't happening in my time frame.
Letting go of needing to control time. When I can walk on water, I might be able to control time. Meanwhile I choose to be happy, calm and accepting as I co-create my life.

Within two weeks Susan had a part in an HBO movie. She was feeling that life was just beginning at 42.

Thank you as usual Gary and EFT.

Love and light,
Aileen Nobles


Explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT™, by reading my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™. More efficient. More powerful.