Table of Contents

Table of Contents Help

The tabs on the right are shortcuts to where you have been:

  • Previous Screen
  • Previous Articles
  • Previous Categories
  • Start Page
  • Hide Entire Menu

Swiping to the left will take you to the previous screen.

The folder icon indicates that more content is available. Click on the icon or the associated text, or swipe to the right to see the additional content.

Article Archive


Abbott and Costello meet Windows 95

Abbott and Costello meet Windows 95 

Costello:  Hey, Abbott!
Abbott:    Yes, Lou?
Costello:  I just got my first computer.
Abbott:    That's great Lou. What did you get?
Costello:  A Pentium II-266, with 40 Megs of RAM, a 2.1 Gig hard drive, and a 24X CD-ROM.
Abbott:    That's terrific, Lou
Costello:  But I don't know what any of it means!!
Abbott:    You will in time.
Costello:  That's exactly why I am here to see you.
Abbott:    Oh?
Costello:  I heard that you are a real computer expert.
Abbott:    Well, I don't know-
Costello:  Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you're going to train me.
Abbott:    Really?
Costello:  Uh huh. And I am here for my first lesson.
Abbott:    O.K. Lou. What do you want to know?
Costello:  I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard that you should be very careful how you turn it off.
Abbott:    That's true.
Costello:  So, here I am working on my new computer and I want to turn it off. What do I do?Abbott:    Well, first you press the Start button, and then-
Costello:  No, I told you, I want to turn it off.
Abbott:    I know, you press the Start button-
Costello:  Wait a second. I want to turn it off. Off. I know how to start it. So tell me what to do.
Abbott:    I did.
Costello:  When?
Abbott:    When I told you to press the Start button.
Costello:  Why should I press the Start button?
Abbott:    To shut off the computer.
Costello:  I press Start to stop.
Abbott:    Well Start doesn't actually stop the computer.
Costello:  I knew it! So what do I press.
Abbott:    Start
Costello:  Start what?
Abbott:    Start button.
Costello:  Start button to do what?
Abbott:    Shut down.
Costello:  You don't have to get rude!
Abbott:    No, no, no! That's not what I meant.
Costello:  Then say what you mean.
Abbott:    To shut down the computer, press-
Costello:  Don't say, "Start!"
Abbott:    Then what do you want me to say?
Costello:  Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing to press the Stop button, the End button and Cease and Desist button, but no one in their right mind presses the Start to Stop.
Abbott:    But that's what you do.
Costello:  And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at green lights.
Abbott:    Don't be ridiculous.
Costello:  I am being ridiculous? Well. I think it's about time we started this conversion.
Abbott:    What are you talking about?
Costello:  I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye.

Author Unknown


Explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT™, by reading my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™. More efficient. More powerful.