- Article Archive
- Cases
- Core issues, sexual pleasure and "The Sins of Eve"
- Headaches, substance sensitivities, phone work, dental fears and grief
- How to become "unstuck"
- "But it doesn't work for me...."
- Jet lag--tuning your time field
- Persistent tapping on several issues
- A question for digging deep
- Emotions, physical ailments and hidden issues
- More uses of EFT & a philosophical bent
- Tapping variations
- "Harry's" case and breathing suggestion
- Followup on EFT in the prison system
- Physical problems and persistence
- Using EFT on past life issues
- A how-to guide for using EFT with couples.
- Henry's phrase points to core issues
- Using EFT for severe mental retardation
- Down Syndrome and EFT
- There's something lacking in my career
- Her sinuses opened like a floodgate
- Balance problem, corns & autism
- Using EFT to enhance education skills
- Mourning the mother she's slowly losing
- Tapping brought us closer and made me understand
- A bridge for "Dr. Fred's" beliefs
- Food repulsion, email phobia, golf & rejection
- Plugged up ears, suicide and delayed reactions
- Working together on vertigo
- Creative reframing: Satan to God
- Hip replacement, magic and miracles
- EFT with a mentally retarded patient
- Dying gently
- Lactose intolerance--including a 6 month follow-up--see below
- Thought for the day
- Bringing down the barriers to a better bedroom
- Enhancing performance as a metaphor for life issues
- Mr Persistence, EFT and a brain tumor
- A teeny(?) and delightful success
- Business owner moves his business to the next level.
- Food repulsion: Green furry things and yucky tomatoes!
- An EFT "Pre-Beginner" reports success
- Warts
- ...And he cried on my shoulder
- Hospice care and EFT
- How do I know the right words to say when I'm tapping?
- A builder with psoriasis & little things
- EFT clears eczema.
- Loneliness and many, many aspects
- An uncontrollably sobbing client--"my mother didn't love me"
- "Bedside EFT" for patient relief in a hospital setting
- Expensive Emotions
- Niki LaMont on depression, pain and a water phobia
- Guilt over terminating a marriage
- Calming down a suicidal client
- The freedom to sing
- When a prisoner won't disclose the issue
- When pets have to pee...
- Programming dreams with EFT
- When you gotta go...
- Critical Incident Stress Debriefing
- Insight--"I'm terrified I'm going to be like my father"
- Sales performance
- Alan--a mentally retarded client
- EFT "homework" and other messages
- What would love do here?
- Emergency uses for EFT
- A problem with Happy Birthday
- Expert golfers, EFT and comfort zones
- Men only want one thing
- Tinkie said, "I don't fit in"
- Cholesterol and EFT
- Free to pee
- Clients with low energy--(Note: many suggestions from our members follow this message)
- Using "Setup Emphasis" for gout and other stubborn issues.
- Pulse rate improvement: From 130 to 90 in 1 minute
- Crohn's disease, gas, dental pain and a message from Albert Einstein
- Intentional EFT, enhancing romance and chewing cold things
- EFT on Schizophrenia
- Alzheimer's, "Absent tapping," & other experiences
- EFT and circumcision
- Low libido
- Suicidal client helped over the phone
- A blind man's erection problem
- Fasting??--try it on everything
- Using EFT on Paranoid Schizophrenia
- EFT helps trumpeter blow his own horn
- Contempt and the effects of projection
- Greg Nicosia on tapping with intention
- Puppy dog, wetting one's pants, stress & a "no results" case
- Delayed reaction to EFT--back pain & rape trauma
- Intentionality on an airplane
- Inside a successful schizophrenia case
- Anaphylactic shock--"Before her eyes, the swelling began to go down."
- EFT, phone work and a business idea
- Migraines and a chocolate/cookies addiction
- Tapping with intention
- Breasts, body parts and self image concerns
- Feeling Responsible For Someone Else's Death
- Persistence, hemorrhoids & Uncle Bugs
- Two EFT success stories: pain & the opinions of others
- No more "conversations in my head"
- Pyrophobia, fear of medicines and working with groups over the phone.
- Rapport in the prison system--Part I of III
- Dental gagging and accepting oneself
- Jason's motion sickness
- EFT and self image
- Apex problem--a response twist
- Emotional nose, burning house & golf questions
- A miscarriage and the recall of core issues.
- Tapping the finger points and the value of a hug
- EFT for growing larger breasts
- Using EFT for Fertility.
- Phantom limb pain
- Using EFT with frail people
- Press Releases
- EFT in the News
- Stories
- Weight Loss
- Editorials
- Frequently Asked Questions
- Are there any problems using EFT for pregnancy?
- Are there any negative side effects or abreactions?
- Can EFT cause a client to "feel worse?"
- How do I introduce EFT to skeptics?
- Can we do EFT surrogately or through intention? If so do we need permission?
- Can I be effective with "just the basics?"
- How do I handle Hand-Me-Down EFT?
- How do I choose the language to use while doing EFT?
- When it doesn't work....???
- How do I handle the "Big One?"
- How do I find a client's "hidden issues?"
- What procedures might be taken if a client is undergoing a medical emergency?
- What's a good way for newcomers to apply EFT to themselves?
- Why do you sell it so inexpensively?
- What do I do when the clients stop tapping even though they have had substantial success with EFT?
- How does EFT differ from Thought Field Therapy (TFT)?
- How do you help a "non-feeling" client?
- What do I say while performing EFT?
- Can EFT be combined with other techniques?
- How do I find answers to my EFT questions?
- EFT is obvious! So why wasn't it discovered many decades ago?
- Does EFT work on______?
- How long do the results last?
- When EFT relieves pain, does it mask the pain and thus thwart the ability for pain to signal danger?
- I'm used to affirmations being stated in the positive. Why does the EFT Setup language focus on the negative? What if I used positive statements instead?
- Does it matter whether or not the EFT practitioner is skeptical?
- How do I use EFT for___________?
- How do I apply EFT for performance issues?
- Are EFT's results due to either placebo effects or distraction?
- Using EFT for Epilepsy and seizures
- Are there suggested guidelines for professionals regarding an Informed Consent Statement?
- Fear
- Humor
- Addicted to Coffee
- Professional Advice
- The Bottle of Wine
- Marriage Names
- PICABO
- How to Give the Cat a Pill
- Humor From the Church
- Understanding Engineers
- Hasty Headlines
- Dad Math
- At the Inn...
- A Christian Upbringing
- Have You Heard?
- Scared Straight...For Math
- Do you REALLY need email??
- Funny Sayings - Part 3
- Computers and Companies
- Microsoft vs. GM
- Strange Laws - Part 2
- THE GOOD HUSBAND
- THOSE WERE THE DAYS - Part 1
- Baseball Quote
- City Slicker
- Airline Travel: The Next Generation
- George Carlin's Views on Aging
- BIRTHDAY SURPRISE
- Funny Sayings
- Proper Diskette Usage and Care
- Only in Merry Old England
- Punctuation Is Everything
- TRIBUTE TO BOB HOPE - Part III
- Computer Haikus
- Camping Trip
- Consultant
- Kids and Proverbs - Part 2
- Why Indeed ...?
- In Memoriam
- Accident report
- The Fire Truck
- Signs That Technology Has Taken Over Your Life
- Signs & Notices
- Goofy Conversions
- Honest Advertising
- Intermission Hijinks
- After-Thanksgiving Poem
- AN ODE TO ENGLISH PLURALS
- Getting Older
- Marriage Names
- A FROG STORY
- Cheap Therapy
- Husband 101
- Having Fun in Wal Mart
- Hasty Headlines
- Time Out
- A Change of Vows
- Farmer
- How Banks Work
- Stern Sibling
- TALKIN
- Funny Sayings - Part 4
- Creation Retold
- Having Trouble with Microsoft Word
- Strange Laws - Part 3
- ITALIAN PASTA DIET
- THOSE WERE THE DAYS - Part 2
- Bathroom Sign
- Class Reunion
- THE LAWS OF INCONVENIENCE
- Calling God
- THE BLARNEY STONE
- Funny Sayings - Part 7
- If A Dog Were Your Teacher
- Politically Correct Holiday Greeting
- A Rope Went into a Bar...
- How Smart Is Your Right Foot?
- WORDS TO LIVE BY
- Canine Complex
- Cuff Links
- Kids and Proverbs - Part 3
- THE ARROGANT INSPECTOR
- The 'Middle Wife'
- Aging Perspective
- Flight Announcements
- The Sex of a Fly
- For Those Who Need a Chuckle
- The Helicopter
- Give a Man a Fish...
- Band Insect
- Afternoon Rounds
- AN ODE TO ENGLISH PLURALS - PART 2
- Write it Down?
- Marriage Names
- WHY GOD MADE MOMS
- Chuckles
- Are You An Internet Addict?
- Washing Your Cat
- Speeding Ticket
- The Concept of Marriage
- The 84-year-old Newlywed
- The Company Picnic
- Eternal Devotion
- 25 Signs You've Grown Up
- SAFARI SURVIVAL
- Funny Sayings - Part 5
- Dear Dad
- Miracle
- Swapping Professional Secrets
- THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION AND HEALTH
- YEP
- Cakes and Ale
- Classified Ads
- THE LAWS OF INCONVENIENCE
- A Bed Near The Window
- NAME THAT BOAT
- Funny Sayings - Part 8
- Dog Thoughts
- The Perfect Husband
- Product Labels
- Toys for Today
- What I've Learned by Having Boys
- The C.E.O.
- Cured
- Kids and Proverbs - Part 4
- DADDY, HOW WAS I BORN???
- My First Mammogram
- Are You Ready For Children?
- Bad Puns
- For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously
- The Human Race is Doomed
- Photogenic?
- RESTAURANT MATH
- RESERVATIONS OF AN AIRLINE AGENT
- Quick Jokes
- Detective Mom
- A Novel Approach to Saving Money
- WHY GOD MADE MOMS
- How to Clean the Toilet
- Internet Police
- Why Learn English Part 1
- Where Is God ?
- Phrases from the 50's - Part 1
- New Year's Resolutions -- Over Time
- Car Warning
- I Think I Need a Computer
- DINNER INVITATION
- QUALITY ASSURANCE
- HOLLYWOOD SQUARES - THE GOOD OLD DAYS (PART 1)
- Dear Bubba
- Missing
- Good Communication
- MAN
- YEP
- Call Center
- Classified Ads
- THE LAWS OF INCONVENIENCE
- Monastery Life
- BY THE BOOK
- Funny Sayings - Part 9
- Why Dogs Can't Use Computers
- Politically Correct About Men
- Product Labels
- Job Competition
- What I've Learned by Having Boys
- EYEGLASSES
- Cyclic Number
- Kids and Proverbs - Part 5
- COURTROOM BLOOPERS
- Monkey Business
- A Barbie we can relate to
- Fresh New Perspectives
- The Male Perspective
- Pull Over!
- Dalmation Duties
- Airline Food
- Painting the Porch
- Aging Gracefully
- Animal Super Bowl
- WHY GOD MADE MOMS
- The Clergyman
- A Kitten's Prayer
- Why Learn English Part 2
- DAILY THOUGHTS FROM DOGS AND CATS
- Phrases from the 50's - Part 2
- The Minister and the Funeral
- Case Closed
- Having a Bad Day
- Airline Maintenance
- A DRY TOWN
- HOLLYWOOD SQUARES - THE GOOD OLD DAYS - PART 2
- Deep Observations on Life
- Out of the Mouths of Babes
- Wash. Biol. Surv.
- WOMEN OVER 40
- CHASING RABBITS
- Call Policy
- Classified Ads
- Fried Eggs
- Why Indeed ...?
- The Talking Dog
- The best road rage!
- Eating Oreos
- Signage
- Product Labels
- Skydiver
- Most ridiculous British laws:
- WHEN INSULTS HAD CLASS
- Creative Definitions - Part 1
- Mourning the Mayonnaise
- COURTROOM BLOOPERS
- Comments made in the year 1955!
- Bargaining with God
- A Good Explanation
- The Man I Marry
- Hasty Headlines
- New Business Model
- Amish and Elevator
- A Pain in the Leg
- And that
- Three Dogs...and a Collie
- BIZARRE DRIVING LAWS - Part 1
- Coming Mergers
- Life Before the Computer
- The Wisdom of a Witch
- GOLF GAME
- Phrases from the 50's - Part 3
- Bad Day
- CEO Blunder
- Great Truths That Little Children Have Learned
- Airline Maintenance
- BEING COOL
- HOLLYWOOD SQUARES - THE GOOD OLD DAYS - PART 3
- Deep Thoughts
- Near Death Experience
- Walk A Mile
- AN INTERESTING PHILOSOPHY
- THE HISTORY OF WIRELESS
- Calories That Don't Count
- Cold Cream
- The Mountain Man and the Army
- Why Indeed ...?
- University Safety Committee
- 80% Agreement
- The English Schoolteacher
- Let Sleeping Dogs Lie
- Two-Cow Philosophy
- Untold Riches
- Abbott and Costello meet Windows 95
- WHEN INSULTS HAD CLASS
- Creative Definitions - Part 2
- The Price of Good Health
- COURTROOM BLOOPERS
- COURTROOM BLOOPERS
- Baseball in Heaven
- HMO
- Thirty Lines to Make You Smile
- Hasty Headlines
- MEMO
- Ancient Artifact?
- A Moral Lesson
- And that
- Is It Better To Be A Jock Or A Nerd?
- BIZARRE DRIVING LAWS - Part 2
- Funny Sayings - Part 1
- Computer Help Desk
- Life Support
- Women in Leather
- GREETINGS AND BEST WISHES FROM A LAW FIRM
- PRAYING FOR PEACE
- Bad Weather
- Chemistry Final Exam
- The Four Stages of Life
- Airline Maintenance
- BIKERS
- HOLLYWOOD SQUARES - THE GOOD OLD DAYS
- Deep Voice
- Annual Neologism Contest
- Army Insurance
- TRIBUTE TO BOB HOPE- Part I
- Computer Haikus
- Calories That Don't Count
- Commuting Hazards
- Winning the Lottery
- Why Indeed ...?
- A Well-Planned Retirement
- A Little Mixed Up
- Fifty Fun Things to do in an Elevator
- The Spanish Computer
- The Bank Robber
- Colorful Shipwreck
- Accuracy!
- WHEN INSULTS HAD CLASS
- Creative Definitions - Part 3
- Now That
- The Perfect Man
- Marriage Names
- A TEST FOR PROFESSIONALS
- Beer, Fishing, Golf and Sex
- How To Lie To The Bathroom Scale
- Twelve Step Recovery Plan
- Hasty Headlines
- Estate Planning Basics
- Astrological Light Bulbs
- Kindergarten Wisdom
- And that
- The Old Golfer
- BIZARRE DRIVING LAWS - Part 3
- Funny Sayings - Part 2
- Computer Swallowed Grandma
- Martha Stewart Holiday Schedule
- Strange Laws - Part 1
- 24 SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE CANADIAN
- OLDER and WISER
- The Bartender
- Circulatory Exam
- Success
- Survivors
- BILL GATES BUYS A HOUSE
- HOLLYWOOD SQUARES - THE GOOD OLD DAYS - PART 5
- The Definition of Barbecuing
- Not My Job
- On the Phone with with Technical Support
- TRIBUTE TO BOB HOPE - Part II
- Computer Haikus
- Calories That Don't Count
- Congressional Mugging
- Kids and Proverbs - Part 1
- Why Indeed ...?
- Dear God
- A New Teacher
- Finally! Answers About Marriage
- Talking Dog
- Signs & Notices
- Beethoven's Grave
- Adoption
- Amazingly Simple Home Remedies
- Inspiration
- By Changing...
- Jars of Clay
- To Build A Bridge
- The Dates that Matter
- The Precious Gift
- State Of The World Message
- Cross My Heart
- Love and the papers everyone kept
- The World's Most Communicative Disease
- Strongest Dad in the World
- Children Learn What They Live
- The Final Exam
- Now and Beyond
- WHAT IS LOVE? (Part 3)
- ANGELS IN THE POST OFFICE
- Sioux Indian Story
- The best day of my life
- Happiness
- The Reflection
- Don't Go To Bed
- Good People
- And This Too Shall Pass
- Ugly
- The Balloon Man
- Capt. Laurent Gourley...8-6-69
- Just Be
- To Risk
- Misfits
- My Resignation
- My Comfort Zone
- The Daffodil Principle
- Lucky's Greatest Treasure
- You are so beautiful to me
- The Cab Ride I'll Never Forget
- A Sweet Lesson in Humanity
- The Firth of Forth Bridge
- On Failure
- No Matter What Happens
- AN ENLIGHTENED PERSPECTIVE - Part 1
- Keep Your Dream
- The best time of my life
- Healing Garden
- Rich or Poor?
- The Elderly Caretaker
- The Wise Sage
- Miguel's Poem
- Mom - Job Description
- Start With Yourself
- Attitude
- Cerebral Palsy and a flower inside a cocoanut shell
- Kitten From Heaven
- To Track Down My Dream
- Creating Destiny
- Making Sandcastles
- You Sure Are Lucky...
- Determination
- The Magic of Hope
- 57 CENTS
- Broken Wing
- Infecting the World
- Flying
- Others at their best
- Are you God
- AN ENLIGHTENED PERSPECTIVE - Part 2
- Roses of Life
- Better Far to Risk A Fall
- Here I Grow Again
- Shake It Off and Step Up
- Look Mommy
- The Joy of Gratitude
- The Star Polisher
- Magic Mommy Kisses
- A Determined Spirit
- The Magical Tablecloth
- Challenged
- Lesson
- Which one are you?
- Asking God
- The Pickle Jar
- Cookies
- Dig a Little Deeper
- May You Have...
- The Angel on Hwy 109
- Be Thankful
- Five Short Chapters on Change
- Follow the Leader
- Point of View
- Unforgiveness
- AN ENLIGHTENED PERSPECTIVE - Part 3
- If You Were
- The Boy and the Worm
- House of 1000 Mirrors
- That's all I remember!
- The little boy with a bad temper
- How Do You Think?
- Stray Cat
- The Fisherman and The Investment Banker
- The Trouble Tree
- Whispers
- I Tried to Climb the Mountain Today
- Letter From a Farm Kid
- Whiners
- Crayola Bomb
- The Sneeze
- A Drunk Fell in a Hole
- Million Dollar Lesson
- SLOW DANCE
- The Loving Picture that will never leave your memory
- Secret of Success
- Good Corn
- Positive Side of Life
- Before It's Too Late
- EXPLANATION OF GOD
- The Mustard Seed
- The Archer and the Arrow
- Boy Wanted
- I Love You
- The Carpenter
- Customer Service From Heaven
- Paid In Full
- The 30 Second Quiz
- Count Your Blessings
- Lincoln and Failure
- Wisdom from Oscar
- Twenty Four Crowded Hours
- A Newborn's Conversation with God
- Eating the Cookie
- Nice Kids
- Explanation of God by an 8 year old boy
- AN EXERCISE IN GRATITUDE - Part 1
- Defining Success
- Great Opportunity
- Positive Thinking
- The Best Medicine
- GOSSIP
- Miss Isabel
- Are Your Potatoes Heavy
- Mean old Moms
- A Builder or a Wrecker?
- The Impossible Dream
- The Horseman
- Optimism
- Heaven and Hell
- The Seven Wonders of the World
- True Story of Courage and Love
- The Lonely Road
- Wisdom
- This is What Love is All About
- The Value of Time
- Embassy of Hope
- No Matter What Happens
- WHAT IS LOVE? (Part 1)
- AN EXERCISE IN GRATITUDE - Part 2
- Forsaken?
- There is beauty in everything
- A Group of Frogs
- The Race
- Does it Still Serve a Purpose?
- THE MEANING OF LIFE
- Time to Learn
- Real Heroes
- Attitude determines everything
- A Butterfly Hovers
- The Jag
- The Ones Who Care
- To Have Succeeded
- Letter To My Grandchildren
- What do Angels Look Like?
- Covering All the Bases
- Love software
- World's Greatest Psychotherapist
- The Obstacle in Our Path
- The Weight of a Burden
- He Failed His Way To The Top
- Not The Critic
- WHAT IS LOVE? (Part 2)
- AN EXERCISE IN GRATITUDE - Part 3
- The Emperor's Seed
- Beauty tips
- Handwriting On The Wall
- Raised as a Chicken
- Distance Never Separates
- THREE DAYS TO SEE
- When You Thought I Wasn't Looking
- A Sioux Indian Story
- A lesson in attitude
- Research
- The effects of EFT on long-term psychological symptoms
- Neurophysiological Indicators of EFT Treatment Of Post-Traumatic Stress
- Assessment of the Emotional Freedom Technique: An Alternative Treatment for Fear - The Waite & Holder Study
- Evaluation of a Meridian-Based Intervention, Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), for Reducing Specific Phobias of Small Animals
- Self-administered EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) in individuals with fibromyalgia: a randomized trial
- The Treatment of Combat Trauma in Veterans Using EFT
- Energy Psychology: a review of the preliminary evidence
- Energy psychology in disaster relief
- Studies Accepted in Peer Reviewed Journals
- Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) For Traumatic Brain Injury
- Energy Psychology in Rehabilitation: Origins, Clinical Applications, and Theory
- The Effect of EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) on Athletic Performance: A Randomized Controlled Blind Trial
- Thought Field Therapy and its derivatives: rapid relief of mental health problems through tapping on the body
- Rapid Treatment of PTSD: Why Psychological Exposure with Acupoint Tapping May Be Effective
- Theoretical and Methodological Problems in Research on Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) and Other Meridian Based Therapies
- Six Trauma Imprints Treated with Combination Intervention: Critical Incident Stress Debriefing and Thought Field Therapy (TFT) or Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)
- Pilot Study of EFT, WHEE and CBT for Treatment of Test Anxiety in University Students
- Psychological Symptom Change in Veterans After Six Sessions of Emotional freedom Techniques (EFT); An Observational Study
- Veterans: Finding their way home with EFT--an observational study
- The Effect of Progressive Muscular Relaxation and Emotional Freedom Techniques on Test Anxiety in High School Students: A Randomized Controlled Trial
- Clinical Story of a 6-Year-Old Boy's Eating Phobia; An Integrated Approach
- The Neurochemistry of Counterconditioning: Acupressure Desensitization in Psychotherapy
- The Effect of a Brief EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) Self-Intervention on Anxiety, Depression, Pain and Cravings in Healthcare Workers
- Change Is Possible: EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) with Life-Sentence and Veteran Prisoners at San Quentin State Prison
- Studies Presented at Professional Conferences
- Psychological Trauma in Veterans using EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques): A Randomized Controlled Trial
- Does Prolonged Exposure Need to Hurt in Order to Help? Exploring Two Alternatives
- Measuring Physiological Markers of Emotional Trauma: A Randomized Controlled Trial of Mind-Body Therapies
- The Effect of EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) on Psychological Symptoms: A Limited Replication
- The Effect of EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) on Psychological Symptoms in Addiction Treatment
- The effect of an energy psychology intervention (EFT) versus diaphragmatic breathing on specific
- World Trade Center Tower 2 Survivor: EP Treatment of Long-term PTSD:
- Other Studies and Experiments
- Before and after photos of Rouleaux--"blood cell clumping"
- An Objective Experiment on the Use of EFT for Depression
- An EFT study: Reducing anxiety in dental patients with EFT
- EFT for Libido: Study Results Summarized -- 80% report an improvement of 50% or more
- Preliminary Report of the First Large-Scale Study of Energy Psychology
- Clear evidence that our emotions affect our body--in this case, dramatic changes in the blood
- The results of Carol Look's eyesight experiment
- Articles evidencing the existence of energy meridians
- EFT improves Minerals, Amino Acids & Vitamins
- Cases
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Article Archive
Cases
Dying gently
Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™. Best wishes, Gary
Hi Everyone,
All professionals and active EFT students will want to print out and save this article by Deborah Mitnick. It will serve as an indispensable guide the next time you deal with the process of dying (whether for friends, family or yourself).
The body's death is inevitable and, handled properly, it can be a beautiful experience...a time of love...of gratitude...of union. Unfortunately, it is usually approached awkwardly as a "bad thing" and thus loses its true potential for ripening the human spirit.
Deborah blends two "dying experiences" for us into one article that gives us several uses for EFT as well as other elements of "human touch." To give this subject its proper due, Deborah created a much longer than usual message for our eyes. Thus it is complete and well worth a place in your library.
Hugs, Gary
____________________
My friend, "Sarah" died yesterday. I'm going to tell you about that death and how I used tapping to help Sarah and her family transition through the many stages that led up to her death. But I'm also going to insert a brief report about another death. I'm going to tell you about a client of mine who asked me to help her as her mother was dying. I'm combining these reports because of their similarities, but I see them as very different incidents.
Sarah, my friend, was 84 years old (almost as old as my Mother) and I've known her since I was three years old. Her daughter, "Jennifer," was five years old when we met and we've been close friends for over 52 years.
Sarah had a stroke about a week ago, and although she looked at us and clearly understood what we were saying to her, she could not speak and she was paralyzed on one side of her body. She could blink her eyes and squeeze our hands to answer yes and no questions. We knew that there was no hope for a full recovery and that should Sarah live, she would not be able to achieve the dynamic functioning that she had enjoyed and cherished until the time of the stroke. She had a Living Will which stated that if she could not recover her full functioning and communicate with others in the manner to which she'd been accustomed, she would not want to be maintained on any life support and did not even want nutrition or hydration, should the prognosis for full recovery be poor.
I stayed with Sarah and her family almost night and day during this past week. Sarah's son and daughter-in-law, "Charles" and "Linda," as well as her daughter, Jennifer, were at Sarah's bedside even more than I was.
As some of you know, I've always loved to work in crisis situations, in critical incident situations, and that I specialize in trauma, grief, and bereavement issues, among other things. I have a specialty in working with anticipatory grief situations and I know how to negotiate hospital systems and arrange it so that hospital personnel get things done in a timely fashion.
But Sarah is my friend and I was grieving for her. And Jennifer, Charles, and Linda are my friends and my heart was aching for them. So, I really wondered if I could be objective enough to help the Family. All I knew was that I really wanted to be with them and ease any discomforts that I could. So, I spent the week helping them think through some of the decisions that have to be made to "pull the plug." After just a few days, they finally decided to remove all of the tubes, including intravenous hydration. Sarah made this decision as easy as she could for them because of how clearly she had written her Living Will many years before. (I recommend that we all have Living Wills! The Family knew exactly what Sarah wanted and didn't have much hesitation or guilt about doing what needed to be done.)
In spite of Sarah's clarity in her Living Will, this was still a gut-wrenching decision for the family. There'd been a lot of crying and second-guessing going on. This Family was finding it very difficult to "let go." They wanted to do what was best for Sarah, but they were torn with conflict and with grief about taking that ultimate step because they knew that she would die more quickly, once they had all the tubes withdrawn. And, although they wanted to respect her wishes, on some level, they weren't ready to let her go; they weren't ready to no longer have her physically with them.
After the decision to remove hydration was made, Jennifer told her Mom everything that was about to happen. Although Sarah couldn't speak, she clearly understood what was being said to her and she looked immediately relieved. Jennifer told her, "It's ok to go. We're going to remove the tubes and respect your wishes. We'll be ok." The Family decided to make arrangements with Hospice to take Sarah home so that she could die in her own bed.
But still the family grieved and second-guessed and was scared of what the imminent death would look like. (I was able to prepare them for what they'd see. I also got medical "experts" to tell them what to expect as the end grew closer.)
I offered to use some tapping with Sarah and with the family, to help them with their "letting go" conflicts. Later that night, I gathered the family around Sarah and told them that I'd like to tap on Sarah and also give the Family the opportunity to talk to Sarah while I tapped. I told them that I had no idea what the outcome would be and asked them if it would be ok with them if she began to slip away, even before she got home to her own bed.
I told them that I'd had one other experience with tapping with a dying woman. In that case, the daughter of the woman was my client. "Mary" told me that her Mom had been in a coma for weeks and that the result was inevitable. She said it was torture to watch her Mother being agitated and in pain while in her light coma, but "Mom couldn't let go" because Mary still wanted her Mom to "stay here" and "take care" of her." She said, "I'm not ready for Mom to die."
After a phone session of EFT, Mary felt more ready. During that session, we tapped for, "Even though I'm not ready for Mom to die...," "Even though I will miss her...," "Even though I'll have to take care of her cats now...," "Even though it's hard to let her go...."
And, as some of you know, I usually tap on one side for the "challenge" and on the other side for the "choice," so I had Mary tapping for the above statements on the right side of the body, but we alternated with tapping on the left side of the body for the choice statements of, "Choosing forgiveness and peace...," "Being open to choosing for her to let go now ..."
I asked Mary if she'd be open to the possibility of tapping on her Mom, even though Mom was in a coma. (Since Mary and I totally believe that those in comas can still hear us talking to them, Mary was in enthusiastic agreement about this!) We discussed the types of things she could tap for on her Mom, while speaking for her Mom. "Even though it's hard for you to let go because you think I still need you here...," "Even though you're worried about who will take care of your cats...," "Even though it's difficult to say goodbye, you want to deeply and completely accept yourself. You want to know that I am ok with this and that I will take care of your cats. And I will. It's ok with me if you go in peace, when the time is right for you."
A few days later, Mary left me a voice mail message: "I'm calling to let you know that my Mom passed on, but thanks to you, it was so peaceful and so amazing. I'll need to tell you more in detail when we speak at our next session, but basically what I did is...I put on her favorite music; I sang and danced; I talked to her about good old memories. I did some tapping on her hand as I was talking. I kept things kind of light. When we went to give her the medication, she had some pain and gave a moan. We'd heard nothing from her for two days. I tapped on her eyebrows and we went through all the tapping points you taught me. I told her 'I want you to know, Mom that we (the kids) are all at peace. Whenever you feel it's right, it's ok to pass. We're ok.' And with that, Deborah, she opened up her eyes from the coma. She looked around. I said, 'Yes, it's ok. Go toward the light and be with your son and your husband, and everyone else who has passed on.' We were all talking and singing with her. Whoever was talking to her, Mom's eyes looked directly at that person. My friend sang a prayer song. After the song, Mom looked content and took her last breath. It was so beautiful; it was so amazing. I owe it all to you, Deborah. I wouldn't have had the strength without your support. Even my husband said he couldn't believe how strong I was. I couldn't have done it without you. I'd love to talk to you one day this week and prepare myself for the funeral. Thank you."
Now that I've set the stage, I'll tell you more about Sarah and her Family.
So, with my friends, I told them I couldn't possibly know what would happen next. I just had confidence that Sarah would hear us; that we could ease her passage; and she would transition when the time was right for her. (I was also thinking about Gary's tutorial on "Borrowing Benefits" and I assumed that the Family would achieve their own positive benefits [and maybe even some peace] as I focused all of my attention and tapping on Sarah.) I started tapping on her hand and then on all of the meridian points that I could reach. "Even though you're not quite ready to go, you want to deeply and completely accept yourself. And even though you're worried about how people will manage without you, it's ok. They are here with you now and want you to know that they will be fine. They want you to know that if they have any emotional problems, that Deborah will be able to help them through that."
I then invited the Family members to speak to her in turn. They all told her that it was ok to transition, when she was ready and that they'd be fine. They invited her to look toward the Light and see that her husband and parents were waiting to welcome her and to ease her transition. They told her to keep watch over them and that they would always feel her spiritual presence. (I asked her to say hello to my Father for me! Sarah and my Father had been very good friends.)
I then told her that if there was anyone she was still waiting to say goodbye to, it was ok and that she had done the best she could in saying her goodbyes. I also told her that each member of the Family wanted to ask her forgiveness for anything that they may have done that had offended her, that they had only done the best that they could at the time, given their resources and their history. I then told her that we knew that she wanted forgiveness for anything she had done that may have offended others, and that we lovingly forgave her because we knew that she had also done the best that she could given her history and her resources.
The entire time that the Family members talked to her, I was tapping on her. We all cried, but we were crying, not just tears of grief, but of celebration and of readiness to accept what needed to be accepted. We told her that we'd be taking her home to her own bed and that she could wait for that, or pass gently even before that.
For over 30 minutes, I tapped on Sarah while the Family talked with her and assured her that they were fine. We sang songs of comfort to her. When the Family members indicated they were complete, we stopped tapping. They all said that it was a beautiful and comforting experience and that they felt totally complete. We cried and hugged and celebrated a beautiful and moving experience.
When we looked at Sarah again, her breathing had calmed down. Her color had pinked up. Her brow was no longer furrowed and her wrinkles were smoother. She was resting comfortably.
When we took her home, we put her in her own bed and continued to sing to her, play her favorite classical music cassettes, and assure her that she could transition when the time was right for her. We talked about Family that hadn't yet arrived from out of town and how they'd sent their blessings for her to transition without needing to wait for them, because they felt complete in their own goodbyes with her.
A few hours later, Jennifer and I were alone with Sarah. Jennifer had more she wanted to say to her Mom and she took the time to say everything in her heart. And then I tapped on Sarah again. Very gently, Sarah's breathing quieted. And a few hours later, we saw her Life Force leave her body in the most gentle and quiet and peaceful manner.
I don't feel a need to add much personal summary here. I feel honored to have been a participant and also a facilitator for this Family that I love so much. I feel blessed to have known Sarah at her most vibrant and I feel blessed to have been with her as she gently died.
My life is enhanced because I knew this beautiful woman.
Deborah Mitnick, LCSW-C
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