Catherine's Spiritual Experience

Please read this important article by my good friend, Catherine Neris. Catherine is a nun in Europe who has been paralyzed for many years from the neck down. She comes from an abusive childhood and has found it very challenging to keep her thoughts on the positive side. Fortunately, through diligent practice with The Unseen Therapist, she entered a blissful spiritual experience lasting over two weeks. Here is her story.

From Catherine

It happened at the end of September 2017 until October 2017. That is typically a period that I leave home to be taken care of at a nursing facility so that Margaret (my friend and primary caregiver) can have the annual retreat/vacation. I always terribly dread that time as I have always been a real stay-at-home. The mere thought of leaving fills my heart with heavy sadness and trepidation. 

This year I was going to try a new facility where there was good hope for better care, a better atmosphere, and better food. What apparently nobody had anticipated, was a total insufficiency of the numbers of caregivers. I was made to understand, in a friendly way though, that I was too much work for them and that I would have to find another solution. 

So, that's how I ended up at this place: The Free Butterfly. That's the official name, but I call it The Dead Moth, because that is how I feel when I'm over there ... I guess not much explanation is needed. It is a facility where disabled people, like myself, are being taken care of. Of course the residing population find themselves in various shades of misery: most are half or fully paralysed, many are speech impaired, some are on a ventilator, some perilously choke when they have to swallow. There are many mental handicaps, depression is prevalent, as is aggressiveness and a general sense of hopelessness ... in short: these are not pleasant surroundings for someone like me who has the luxury of being taken care of at home. I have much to be grateful for. Yet this knowledge doesn't make my stay there much easier. 

The Experience

What changed everything for me is something I would definitely call a gift.

It was when Margaret had barely left, and self pity and sadness were starting to creep up on me, that I distinctively heard an inner voice speak to me: "Catherine, gal, you've got a choice to make. You can be miserable for three weeks OR you can remember that you are never alone. Remember who walks with you. That you are unconditionally loved. The seemingly occurring circumstances don't mean anything. And they can't change anything to the fact that Love is all around you, all the time." 

Immediately, my brain started analysing where this came from. Was it something I heard, something I read? These words undoubtedly mirrored some of that and conversations I had with a dear friend. But was it merely the result of all of the above? I don't think so. Just lucky thoughts at exactly the right time, calling me by name? Too much coincidence. 

And it wouldn't be really me, if I hadn't immediately started arguing with that voice: "Yeah, right! Easier said than done! Nice words! But do they mean anything? I'm never alone ... I sure do FEEL alone. AND miserable!" But at the same time I remembered something about many feelings being delusions created by the ego. And that it all boils down to either of these two: fear or love. 

So, I had a choice to make, apparently. I could choose my restless, arguing little ego's voice or the calm and quiet voice inside of me. Something just gave. Maybe my resistance melted away for a while. And so I consciously chose for love and against all my fears worries and doubts. 

Of course I can't say that instantly everything was all roses. At first I had to make a conscious effort to visualise the Golden Bubble I had experienced from Gary's Webinars. Although I felt a connection with people I don't personally know from the Webinars, in the same way that I feel a connection with people all over the world - just because they are human beings - I very quickly felt that the Golden Bubble was only the size of my room. Inside of it were present all my significant others. People I actually know, but also people who inspire me -- albeit with words, images or music --, dear loved ones who passed on. But most prominently present at all times was The Unseen Therapist. I felt her standing by my side. Strong, unwavering, ever-present. Soothing, strengthening me, loving me and making me aware of the enormous love I have inside of me. 

In between everything else I also did the exercise a couple of times on expanding the Golden Bubble to be covering the whole building, all the inhabitants and all the staff. 

Some stupendous facts: 

I was actually capable of loving myself and my body and not being judgemental and searingly critical of myself. I was able to accept myself, right as I am now, with my past and all my features exactly as they are. 

It was my "technique" to consciously get into the Golden Bubble from the moment I woke up and remind myself to actively stay in it throughout the day. I was hyper aware that negative thinking and would attract negative events. And so when people would be coming in I sent them love and gratitude beforehand. Before anything would happen I thanked The Unseen Therapist that everybody was so nice and that everything went so well. 

Even when something was very difficult, painful, hurtful or caused anger to flare up in me it was The Unseen Therapist that was there immediately to help me love and forgive that particular person. I needed to do multiple rounds of Optimal EFT on some situations. But in the end all of those few difficult events went down to 0. 

Whereas usually I feel completely stressed out, in fear, angry and irritated about anything, everything and everybody in that institution, this was the first time that I felt completely safe and peaceful.I just knew nothing would be able to harm me. That was a very uncharacteristic experience for me. This would not have been possible without The Unseen Therapist. (Level of safety 2016:2/10; 2017: 9.5/10 

As far as physical symptoms go, there was a very clear positive effect on my overall level of spasticity. If I rate last year's spasticity at a 10, then this year was maximally a 3. This is an amazing result considering there has been no change whatsoever in medication. 

Concluding thought:

This intense experience was consistent for 2 1/2 weeks. From the moment I went home and I got caught up in the hum and buzz of daily life this slowly started fading away, although I had managed to hang on to some of it for two more weeks. Then I completely lost that experience. Writing about it has helped me a great deal to recall it and somewhat revive it. Now that I have some of it in writing it will be easier to remember it when necessary. 

Catherine Neris

PS: I prefer not to be called Sister Catherine because "Sister" creates a distance. As if I were different, or worse: better. Often people treat nuns as holy people, but then in the very wrong interpretation of almost inhuman, alien, abnormal and --in my opinion -- very boring. Of course, I am trying to be a nun. The emphasis should be on trying. Trying to embody divine boundless and unconditional Love in a way that fits with a real human being of 2017.