By Michelle Hardwick

 

Dear Gary,

I did a mini-2 hour EFT workshop here in New Zealand recently and for each member of the group there was a reduction in intensity! 100% reduction for each person in the group! Here's what happened:

We began by talking about what each person wanted from the workshop. There were a variety of topics some that were duplicated within the group. Here they are summarized:

-- Struggling with weight issues
-- Loss of focus
-- Doubt
-- Regaining health
-- Overweight
-- Overeating
-- Learning how to use EFT

We decided to work with the weight and incorporate the other issues as we went along, as the majority of the group had some challenge with weight or food in some way. I love to tailor make the workshops as I can, as well as teaching the EFT processes.

I asked first what were the struggles or feelings around food/weight and these turned out to be:
-- Feelings of frustration
-- Feeling out of control
-- Feeling ugly
-- Lack of self control
-- Not feeling desirable
-- Feeling somewhat bulky
-- Not able to be trendy & wear trendy clothes
-- The belief that they will always be that shape

Then I asked how they would like their body/life to be instead, the responses:
-- Streamlined
-- Sexy
-- Desirable
-- Slim
-- In control
-- Natural
-- Eat to live and not live to eat
-- Look appealing
-- Have confidence
-- Self acceptance

So I asked for each member of the group to think of 2 events, note them and write the rating down:
1. Their worst/earliest memory/event around food and rate it 0-10
2. Their happiest memory around food and rate it 0-10

We tapped on both of these the happiest and the worst memories/events. Using the short cut procedure tapping on the karate chop for the entire sentence.
We began at the karate chop point:
"Even though I have these negative memories & associations with food, and these positive memories & associations with food, and it seems that I am struggling with weight issues, I've lost focus, I doubt I can do it, I'm overweight, I overeat, I deeply & completely want to love & approve of myself and I choose NOW to regain my health!"
Then we tapped on each of the points around the face and body with the key elements of the sentence. For example:

o These negative memories & associations with food (EB)
o These positive associations with food (SE)
o I'm struggling with weight issues (UE)
o I've lost focus (UN)
o I doubt I can do it (CH)
o I'm overweight (CB)
o I overeat (UA) etc.

 

We continued "Even though I don't know how to use EFT, I'm only learning and I'm full of feelings of frustration, feeling out of control, ugly, lacking self control, feeling undesirable, & somewhat bulky, I am not able to be trendy & wear trendy clothes, and I believe that I will always be that shape, I deeply & completely want to love & approve of myself and I choose NOW to regain my health!"

Our last round was "Even though I have these negative memories & associations with food, and these positive associations with food, I now choose to feel streamlined, sexy, desirable, slim, in control, natural, eating to live and not living to eat, look appealing, to have confidence & self acceptance I deeply & completely want to love & approve of myself and I choose NOW to regain my health!"

We took a deep breath (in through nose & out through the mouth) after the completion of the round of EFT and also water, drinking water after the breath to flush down the 'toxins' out of the body (either emotional or physical toxins) that had been dislodged after tapping the points and working with the memories. I find, this also helps to ground the person and allows us to be more balanced & centered while working with EFT in this way.

Each person had a reduction in their rating! Some were quite dramatic e.g. 9 to 2, 8 to 2, 10 to 4, 8 to 4 etc. others were minimal e.g. 5 to 4, 8 to 5 etc. 100% reduction for everyone on both the negative and the positive memories!

I wanted to see if the positive memories stayed the same or if they reduced. They all reduced as well. In place of the memory was more clarity for each person, more understanding as to why food had been associated with so many pleasurable events as well as negative ones. Many understood how the pleasurable events had also created driving forces for overeating. Gary you may have already talked about this in length so apologies if is this is a repetition.

Each person then shared the following after the last rounds of tapping:

-- There were no other rewards other than food
-- Gave me a lift when I'd had a crap day
-- If I don't have it, then I feel like I've missed out on something
-- I deserve it
-- I'll feel deprived
-- I feel better with food
-- Not wanting to give up food 'cos it might affect my singing
-- Need for comfort
-- Unbelievable to understand the association
-- Can't keep the weight off
-- It's Menopauses' fault
-- Need an excuse
-- Don't want to be thin & old & skinny & drawn
-- Choose to be healthy, confident
-- Still some restrictions
-- A feeling like we were getting there
-- The need to eat in the car

So we tapped again on the positive memories, the negative ones and also the new information or understandings that we had just gleaned above.

"Even though I STILL have these negative memories & associations with food, and these positive associations with food, and there were no other rewards other than food, food gives me a lift when I've had a crap day, if I don't have food, then I feel like I've missed out on something, I deserve it, I'll feel deprived, I feel better with food, I don't want to give up food, it might affect my singing, I need comfort, I deeply & completely want to love & approve of myself and I choose NOW to regain my health!"

We continued "Even though I understand the association, and it's unbelievable, I still can't keep the weight off, it's Menopause's fault, I need an excuse and menopause is IT, I don't want to be thin & old & skinny & drawn, and I still have some restrictions, we are getting there, I deeply & completely want to love & approve of myself and I choose NOW to be healthy, confident & regain my health!"

Our last round was "Even though I STILL have these negative memories & associations with food, and these positive associations with food, I still need to eat in the car because I am so busy, and I work in different places, I now choose to feel streamlined, sexy, desirable, slim, in control, natural, eating to live and not living to eat, look appealing, to have confidence & self acceptance, to eat healthy on the run and I deeply & completely love & accept myself and I choose NOW to regain my health!"

Again we took a deep breath after the completion of the round of EFT and also drank water.

This 2nd round the negative memory rating went down again 100% and now 50% of the group were at a zero rating.

For the happy memory, 87.5% of the group had another reduction with over 60% of the group, now at a zero rating. I asked those who still had a rating, for more details and information. Their comments:

-- Resistance to letting the memory go (belief that happiness cannot be found without food)
-- This memory made them feel new/special & so the connection with food was created and maintained
-- Being important - rewarding self with food
-- Food makes me feel loved, it's companionship, I'm not alone
-- Doubt that this can change
-- Negating self with overeating
-- A need for love became apparent, not food
-- Feelings of happiness & calmness

We discussed these in depth and reframed why the need for food was so necessary to feel good. How overeating food did feel good momentarily and afterwards feelings of guilt, disappointment, anger and frustration then took over. We discussed how this was not part of the original goal e.g. feeling special, being important, feeling loved etc. All that come of this action was rejection and the need to feel better and overeat again.

Once we had reframed this we were ready for another round:
"Even though I STILL have these negative memories & associations with food, and these positive associations with food, and I am resisting letting these memories go, 'cos I couldn't POSSIBLY be happy without food, I am needing love when I look for food, I felt special, new, important, rewarding myself with food, I sabotage & negate myself when I overeat, food is my friend at least I though it was, it won't let me down, it's my company, I'm not alone with food, I deeply & completely want to love & approve of myself and I choose NOW to regain my health and fill myself with love instead of food!"

We continued "Even though I understand the association, and it's unbelievable, it couldn't possibly change now, not that quick, it can't be that simple, it can't be that quick or simple, can't be that easy - life's a struggle and so is loosing weight, I doubt this can change, I deeply & completely want to love & approve of myself and I choose NOW to be calm, happy, healthy, full of self belief, confidence & regain my health!"

Our last round was "Even though I STILL have these negative memories & associations with food, and these positive associations with food, I now choose to feel streamlined, sexy, desirable, slim, in control, natural, eating to live and not living to eat, look appealing, to have confidence & self acceptance, to eat healthy on the run and I deeply & completely love & accept myself and I choose NOW to regain my health!"

We checked the ratings in the group again, 75% were at a zero. 25% of the group still had a minimum rating i.e. a 1 or 2 or 0.5 out of 10.

The residual beliefs, aspects or 'niggles' that were still holding emotion in place were:

-- I've had it for so long
-- It's familiar, a habit
-- It's the defining thing in my relationship
-- It's an excuse
-- A defense
-- I don't feel good enough
-- I don't want to let her in (person who hurt me) as she'll destroy me
-- Mum wasn't at home after school, I was hungry so I ate, then I'd get told off
-- I'll feel deprived, rejected
-- It's my coping mechanism
-- I need this as a release, it won't be manageable
-- I don't need all that food
-- I need to make food to be accepted
-- I don't accept myself, feeling insecure

So we tapped one final round to clear these:

"Even though I STILL have these negative memories & associations with food, and these positive associations with food, and I am STILL resisting letting these memories go, I've had it for so long, it's familiar, it's a habit, it's my identity, it's the defining thing in my relationship, it's an excuse, and a good one at that, it's my defense & I won't feel safe without it, I don't feel good enough, I deeply & completely want to love & approve of myself, and I now choose to believe in myself!"

We continued "Even though I don't want to let her in (person who hurt me) as she'll destroy me, I'm not safe around her, I'm doing the best I can with the skills & the knowledge I have and she's doing the best she can with the skills and the knowledge she had, I don't live in that house anymore, I don't wear the same clothes, I'm an adult now, so I can let this old fear go now, Mum wasn't at home after school, I was hungry so I ate, then I'd get told off, all these mixed messages around food, I'll feel deprived, rejected. I reject myself, it's my coping mechanism, I deeply & completely want to love & approve of myself."

Our last round was "Even though I need food as a release, I couldn't possible be relaxed & happy without food, the stress won't be manageable, I need to make food to be accepted, when I entertain I have to be accepted, it's what I do, or did in the past, I realize now I don't need all that food, and I've been punishing myself with food and sabotaging myself with food as I don't accept myself, and feel insecure, it's time for a change I am ready for a change and I deeply & completely love & accept myself and I choose NOW to regain my health!"

We checked the ratings in the group again, and everyone was at a zero.

It was an amazing transformation and an incredible experience for me to work with both sides of the issue both negative and positive. I feel I gained so much more understanding and everyone had such a great time. We had a lot of HUGE shifts as well as fun, laughs and 2 hours went by incredibly quickly!

Michelle Hardwick

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