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Other Emotional Issues


Grief changes to smiles

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to peruse our Free Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tutorial™ for a more complete understanding.

Hi Everyone,

Among the many benefits of EFT is its ability to greatly enhance reframes (ways of seeing things differently). Follow how Aileen Nobles assists her grief stricken client to reframe the loss of her mother. Very well done.

Hugs, Gary

By Aileen Nobles

Hi Gary,

Another wonderful reframe with the help of EFT.  “Pamela” was on the phone with me crying as she talked about her mother.  It had been seven months since her mother crossed over to the other side, yet still Pamela dissolved into tears many times a day when she thought about her.  She was at her wit’s end, as she was a very busy woman with many responsibilities and did not want to feel so sad all the time.

I really enjoy working with people who are immobilized with grief, as I have been there myself.  It happened to me after my husband’s massive stroke … however … I was only immobilized until I remembered to tap.  So, Pamela & I started tapping:

Even though I am bereft over my mother leaving me, I’m quite wonderful anyway … I am not handling my feelings of loss well at all, I am an emotional wreck.

Even though I break down in tears every time I think of her, I’m quite wonderful anyway … It’s such a loss, I just can’t come to terms with it.  This hurts so much I’m in so much pain.

Pamela was still crying as she had been at the beginning of the session.

I miss my mother daily.

I asked her to breathe deeply into that (while still tapping).

I don’t know how I am going to manage, I miss my mother so much.

Deep breath (while still tapping).

I’m really happy my mother is not in pain anymore.

I believe she is cradled in the loving embrace of God/Source.

So the truth is the only person I am sad for is me.

This is all about me.

I really miss her.

Hold under the eye.  I know my Mother does not want me to be sad.

Breathe deeply into this statement (while still tapping).

That would be the last thing she wants, especially as she is now so free and happy.

If my feeling sad would bring her back it might be worth feeling sad, on the other hand I’m not God and maybe she doesn’t want to come back.

Perhaps it was her perfect time to make a transition, and she is in a wonderful place.

My being unhappy really isn’t helping my mother or me.

When I think of my mother I want to remember all the good times we shared.

That’s what I want to remember, and that’s what I want to think about.

I do believe she’s still with me, and I do feel her presence now and then.

I choose to let those feelings comfort me.

I wouldn’t wish her back into her painful physical body, as that would be very selfish.

She’s in a wonderful place and I want to focus on that.

I am now releasing my sadness that I feel in my heart.

I’ve been doing a great job of feeding my sadness, and in one way it proves how much I loved her.

I know how much I love her and don’t need to feel sad to prove it. To myself or anyone else

It’s going to be wonderful when I think of my mother and feel good as I remember good times.

That’s what both of us deserve.

I have such great memories, why would I focus on what’s missing instead of what we had.

I don’t want to feel sad every time I think of my mother, I want to feel happy and appreciative for all the good times we shared.

Although there had been no tears from Pamela for quite a while, she was still speaking in a monotone.  We did another couple of rounds of: I’m letting go of my pain, as I remember good times together.

We then did the nine gamut as she thought about good times.  We tapped in:

I’m smiling as I remember the good times.

I have such good feelings as I think about my mother.

Now Pamela had energy in her voice.  I asked her how she felt and she said “drained and at peace.”  I mentioned that it was time to find some sadness and asked her to go to a sad place as she thought about her mother.  She burst into laughter and said that she had a great big smile on her face.

I heard from her a few days later and she is so appreciative …  as am I.




Explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT™, by reading my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™. More efficient. More powerful.