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Other Physical Issues

Insomnia & Sleep Issues

Everyone gets to sleep after Dan does surrogate EFT for a crying child

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to peruse our Free Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tutorial™ for a more complete understanding.

Hi Everyone,

Here's a very practical use of surrogate EFT by Dan O'Connell. Did the surrogate EFT actually do the job here, or was it just coincidence? Who knows for sure but we have so many reports like this that coincidence becomes much less likely. Note Dan's approaches to this problem.

Hugs, Gary

By Dan O'Connell

The man in the apartment above me has part-time custody of his 2 year old grandson.  I know them only slightly - the boy's parents are absent, so he's being cared for by his grandfather and others.  One evening as I was going to bed, I could hear the boy crying - really wailing, and it went on and on while the grandfather tried unsuccessfully to soothe him.  Thinking that they might appreciate some help, (and, yes, wanting some quiet so I could sleep) I mentally offered them my EFT services, and felt a strong "Yes please!" in response (more on this below).  I tuned in to the boy, and started tapping (surrogately):

Even though I can't understand what's going on, I know I'm a good kid.

Even though I don't have a home of my own, I know I'm a great kid

Even though my parents are gone and I don't know why, I know I'm a great kid

Even though I'm afraid it's all my fault, I know I'm a great kid

Even though I feel sad a lot and don't even know why, I know I'm a great kid

Even though I'm afraid, I know I'm a great kid

Even though I'm so tired it hurts and I can't stop crying, I know I'm a great kid

Even though all I want in the whole world is to feel good, I know I'm a great kid

Even though I just want to feel good, I know I'm a great kid

Even though I just want to sleep, I know I'm a great kid

Also, I tapped on the following thoughts without setup phrasing:

I'm just a kid, I shouldn't have to feel like this.

I don't understand.

It's not my fault.

I know grandpa is trying his best, and he's really good to me.

I love you, grandpa, but I just can't stop crying.

I just want to feel good.

Interspersed with these I also tapped for the man:

Even though I never signed on for this…

Even though this isn't fair to him or me…

Even though his parents should be taking care of him…

Even though I just want to go to bed…

Even though I feel awful…

Even though nothing I do seems to calm him down…

Even though we both just need to get some sleep…

Even though even I feel like crying…

Even though my patience is wearing thin, I know I'm a good man.

Please just close your eyes and go to sleep.

Night time is always the hardest - it'll be better in the morning.

You're really a great kid.

I'm sorry you have to go through this.

I love you grandson, I know it's not your fault.

Let's go to sleep now. We'll both feel better in the morning.

After about 5 minutes of tapping the boy's crying quieted and then stopped.  Obviously, there's no proof that I influenced the situation, but my intuitive sense of it was very strong. I 'tuned in' and easily felt that all they both wanted was to get out of the emotion and exhaustion cycle and go to sleep. I guided them out of it and it was all they needed.  And we all got to sleep.

Like other healing techniques that work in the subtle energy field, (eg, Reiki, Healing Touch, Polarity Therapy, etc.), EFT can be done from a distance, and without the receiver's conscious awareness.  Since it is never acceptable to try to impose one's will on another, even if it's "for their own good", the issue of permission must be addressed every time such a healing is considered.  I know the EFT community has a spirited on-going conversation happening around this, and I'd like to add my thoughts.

Permission can be ascertained by using your intuitive sense: tune in to your intended receiver and silently ask permission, and be open to any response you might get.  You might be surprised!  Most of the time the responses I've had have been enthusiastically positive, as in my story above.  But there are times when I've felt resistance, a kind of "keep out of this!" feeling, and that must be respected, even when you know in your heart of hearts that you can help.  If you do get a distinct "yes!" from your receiver, you can then proceed with confidence.

If you don't get a clear response, it can be because your receiver is not clear in his/her own mind, or you are not receiving their signal clearly.  In either case, you can still proceed with your EFT, as long as you hold a very clear intent in your own mind that it is an offering.  This way there's no possibility of your intent getting crosswise with theirs.  It's a subtle distinction, but then, we're working with subtle energy here.  As with so much of this work, intent is all-important.  Just to be clear - the distinction is for your benefit, your clarity.  The receiver always has the choice to accept healing or not, no matter what your intent is, but the more in tune your respective intents are, the better.

GC COMMENT: For a different perspective on this permission issue see


Dan O'Connell


Explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT™, by reading my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™. More efficient. More powerful.