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"The Headache Went Away"


Name withheld for privacy reasons.

Gary Craig logo

Dear Gary,

The problem: goes... I was working with Sheri Baker regarding persistent headaches in the back of my head. We looked it up and saw that back of the head symbolizes something from the past that one is Not dealing with. I use Jesus Christ as my Unseen Therapist. So we went into OEFT meditation and I was instructed to ask what shape, what color, what emotion is this pain at the back of my head. I wrote on an index card ( while meditating in OEFT) shape...oval,....color, red ...emotion...anger....then I wrote the words blood, grandmother.

The grandmother cause:

I began to hear my grandmother's voice and she stated the following...."In our family there were 2 factions at war." My grandmother had come to live with us from Europe when I was very young (6 mos). She decided that she was the matriarch of the family....not my mom.

She would cause my mom and dad to fight and my dad would strike my mom. The 2 factions were...My dad and grandma vs. the 5 small children and Mom. We Hated my grandmother Sooo much. Even when my parents would make up, the next morning my grandmother would try to put a wedge between them and would tell on my mom or make up lies about her. We vowed as siblings to stick out our tongues at her and mock her every chance we got for we were "positive" we had correctly chosen sides with our "poor" mother. "

The OEFT remedy:

After deciding on a number which I think was 9 or 10 regarding the emotional charge...we continued doing OEFT and the pain moved from the right back side to the left back side of my head. So it was going from Overt hatred to Covert hatred...I surmised....but at least the pain was moving. After doing more rounds of OEFT, Sheri helped me to see that maybe there were 2 sides to the story and I also realized maybe the kids should have just let the adults work it out.

Since my parents are from Europe...we kids had few references to other family dynamics. We used I Love Lucy reruns as references since we had hardly any local relatives. We had never seen any mother in laws on I Love Lucy move in and TAKE CHARGE. So we assumed my grandmother was WRONG. We worked on forgiveness of the 3 adults and then the headache moved to the top of my head. I read that this represents choosing head over heart and inflexiblity.

I worked with Sheri on.... "I am willing to become more FLEXIBLE in my stance" and basically the headache then went away. I have had no headaches in the back of my head since then. I have a little one over my right eye but am still a work in progress. I had No idea about the level of hatred for my grandma because this was 55 or more years ago. I just turned 60 and had safely tucked all of these terrible memories away.

I discussed this with some sisters and we now realize why we are All control freaks!! Because we had no control over a very volatile situation!!! There was so much drama and we would scream and cry but that did not make a difference. My parents stayed married and my grandma lived with us for 30 years and my parents did stop fighting as we got older. I guess they tried to be more like the nice families on TV like the Brady Bunch when they realized their yelling and screaming wouldn't win them any points in the neighborhood. Years later, we found out other large families we were friends with had similar problems but more like one or both parents were alcoholic and physical abuse of the children which we did Not experience. Not trying to downplay our drama, however. I am very grateful to Sheri and OEFT. It takes courage to do this work. Thanks so much Gary.


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