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Surrogate tapping and collarbone breathing

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Hi Everyone: The latter part of this letter displays the important subject of surrogate tapping. I have done this myself with mother and child and had success. EFT seems more consistent when the client is tapped directly but sometimes the circumstances don't allow direct tapping. The lesson in this letter could prove invaluable if you are faced with such a scenario. Hugs, Gary

LETTER: Hi Gary, I had a very exciting experience today and wanted to share it with you.

I have been working with a young boy (just turned 8) for the past 9 months. He is the most severely traumatized child I have ever worked with, having experienced sexual, physical, and emotional abuse - mainly at the hands of his father. He has dealt with his trauma by dissociating when he is under a great deal of stress or whenever he becomes uncomfortable with what is going on in his life. Father has only been out of the home for about 3 months, and this boy is experiencing constant triggering of more and more memories of abuse. I have been using TFT/EFT and TAT with him since I first began his therapy.

About 6 weeks ago I was called by his mother and made an emergency home visit. This boy was switching back and forth between two personalities and was out of control. I worked with him for about 30 minutes using EFT and Tapas Accupressure Technique (both of which he is very familiar with). Although we were making some progress, I was becoming discouraged (which is not common for me!). My intuition told me that a collarbone breathing exercise might be the answer - and much to my amazement it worked like magic! Half way through the procedure his eyes started to sparkle, he started to smile, and we successfully balanced his energy field! This was so exciting to see! Since then he has asked his mother to help him with the "breathing exercise" on two occasions.

Today he came for his weekly appointment, and was pretty crabby when he arrived. He wanted his mother to buy him a new toy he wanted and she said no. He sulked, pouted, became rude, and at one point went to the washroom and from there found an empty office and hid. We were frantic, thinking he had run out of the building. I found him in the fetal position under a desk. His mother carried him back to my office where we tried to persuade him to do EFT with us (he is very familiar with and agreeable to both TFT/EFT and TAT). He refused. We encouraged. He cried. We tried adult logic with him - no go! I realized that he was in such a major psychological reversal that even discussing this with him (which we have done in the past) was not going to work. He decided he wanted to keep feeling bad! By this time he was extremely upset, and knowing him as well as I do I knew it was not safe to let him leave the office in this state. His mother was sitting beside him holding him as he cried, and I asked if I could tap her as his surrogate. She agreed to this, so we proceeded. She held him in her arms with his head on her shoulder. I rubbed the sore spot while she said the affirmation "I deeply and completely accept myself even though I am feeling so upset", and then I tapped her meridians while she tuned into his feelings. It was truly amazing to watch his tension and distress reduce!!! After 2 holons she asked him how he was feeling, and he replied, "I'm at a 2 now." This was especially amazing because he watched me tapping his mother and yet at this stage he participated as if he had received the tapping directly. After we did another holon and got the feelings down to a 1, he asked his mom to help him with the "breathing exercise" (collarbone breathing). He decided after the first set that it would be a good idea for him to do it a second time. And so, after about 25 minutes we were able to end our session with a mother and small boy leaving my office, both with smiles on their faces. And I was able to end my day knowing that once again EFT had performed a miracle!

I ask myself after sessions like this one, just what did I do before TFT/EFT????

Gary, thank you for this opportunity you make available to correspond with you and the members of the list. I hope this idea of surrogate tapping is something that other therapists who work with young children will find useful when the child is unable or unwilling to participate directly. Although I often do the tapping on a child, this is the first time I have tapped on a surrogate. Isn't this exciting!!! Author name withheld for privacy reasons.


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