By Timothy J. Hayes, Psy.D.

Each time I say to someone, "You make me so angry," I am choosing to focus on them and their behavior as the cause of my anger and discomfort. In doing this I prevent myself from seeing the true cause of my anger, which is always inside of me. It is my thoughts which cause my emotions, not the actions or reactions of anyone else. Each time I tell someone that they have offended me, I block myself from seeing the actual process of how I have chosen to take offense and then feel offended by what they have said or done.

Gary Craig, in his EFT DVDs, repeatedly talks about how the source of all the discomfort a person feels is "a disruption in the body's energy system." He teaches people the process of EFT to help them remove these disruptions. This is a powerful process which is akin to giving yourself an acupressure treatment for any physical, mental, or emotional discomfort.

I have discovered an added benefit of the EFT process. When you are tapping or rubbing on the acupressure points on your body, and repeating an affirmation which pairs the problem with acceptance, love, and forgiveness of self, you are physically pointing to the source of your discomfort! You are continually tapping on YOUR body. You are not tapping on the body of the person who did something you chose to get angry about. You are tapping on your body, as if to say, "It's In Here!", "The source, and therefore the solution to my pain, Is In Here!"

I have found that adding, "It's In Here!" to my affirmations has helped reinforce the knowledge that I am creating, and therefore can eliminate, most of my pain and discomfort, whether it is physical, mental or emotional. I alternate using this affirmation in addition to, and instead of, the standard affirmation format recommended in the EFT manual. When I focus on the anger I am feeling, about something someone said or did, I begin tapping and say The Setup Phrase,

Even though I am angry about what they said, I deeply and completely love, accept, and forgive myself, and I know, "It's In Here!"

Then my reminder phrase is something like, "This anger, that's In Here". Remember that whenever you are using EFT, you are physically pointing to the source of your pain and discomfort. It may help to verbally remind yourself that, "It's In Here!" Thanks for reading, and Happy Tapping!

Timothy