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Articles & Ideas


Building confidence and releasing the inner critic

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to peruse our Free Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tutorial™ for a more complete understanding.

Hi Everyone,

Loren Fogelman discusses ways to quiet our "inner critic." In addition to these good thoughts, I add an alternative at the end of the article.

Hugs, Gary

By Loren Fogelman

How often have you thought about your professional goals and how things could be different? You believe you want to take the steps necessary to move forward and grow your practice. Over time, the momentum and the desire begins to change. You're not as focused. There is not as much effort in the process to grow your practice. Slowly, you have returned to "doing business as usual." The goals you had for your practice did not turn into a reality.

I have witnessed this process occur over and over again, with friends, clients and in my mastermind group. The desire and intention are strong. Positive change begins to happen. Then the familiar negative thoughts, the inner critic, appears. The inner critic expresses doubt, fear and criticism. When the inner critic takes center stage, it is able to stop progress dead in its tracks.

Your inner critic will remind you that you do not deserve success, you need to have it be perfect and focusing on your goals will take time away from your other many responsibilities. More than likely there is more than one message you hear. The inner critic keeps you frozen in your fears and you avoid taking the next step to grow your business.

When you do hear them, do you know whose voice is speaking to you? These messages of doubt, deserving and fear are not originally yours, although they might feel that way. Typically they were told to you by someone you knew, possibly someone you wanted approval from. Over time these messages became internalized; you took ownership of them.

The different negative messages you have from your inner critic when combined together form "the committee." Your committee has the job of keeping you stagnant and avoiding taking risks. The purpose is to avoid being vulnerable, experiencing pain or stepping out of your comfort zone where you might fail.

Now that you are aware of your inner critic and the committee, you have a choice. You can choose to stay where you are because it is safe and predictable or you can choose to transform the inner critic in order to free yourself from the negative messages and self imposed limitations.

My goal is always to turn a negative into a positive. Consider the possibility that you are able to release the negative messages you have which prevent you from taking action. Those negative messages are based upon your experiences. Each experience influences your perception and beliefs.

Once you begin to transform the inner critic into a supportive voice, you will begin to clear your energy. This process will increase your vibration. You will be ready to take action and reach your goals.

Your inner critic will be resistant to change and give you many reasons not to take the necessary steps to release those familiar negative messages. The inner critic does not want to give up its power and control.

Setup: While tapping the karate chop spot on either hand, repeat these phrases out loud, (or change the words to fit your exact situation).

Even though I know all the reasons why I should not succeed and they have kept me stuck for a long time, I deeply love and accept all parts of myself.

Even though my inner critic prevents me from reaching my goals I recognize it is being protective in some way, I appreciate my inner critic for tying to protect me and keep me from getting hurt.

Even though I want to be in full control of all steps to grow my business and have avoided making change until I had the perfect plan, I am open to the possibility that if I get started and focus on one thing at a time each step will become revealed to me as I progress toward my goal.

Eyebrow: My inner critic is always reminding me of the pitfalls and my weaknesses.
Side of Eye: Being worried has been a way of protecting myself.
Under Eye: I have a close relationship with my inner critic.
Under Nose: I know all the messages I tell myself and have many excuses to prevent change from occurring.
Chin: The inner critic keeps me in a familiar place and I know what to expect.
Collarbone: I have been this way for a long time. It is difficult to believe I can change an old habit.
Under Arm: A part of me wants to break free, but not sure how.
Top of Head: I have tried to change before, but it is really hard and I am not sure what to do differently.

Eyebrow: What if I tried to change one message at a time.
Side of Eye: Even though my inner critic wants me to have a conversation, I could ignore that negative voice.
Under Eye: If the inner critic is persistent, I might consider talking back to it and taking a stand for change.
Under Nose: What if I became my own advocate for positive change? I know how to support others and could try to do that for myself.
Chin: I might have fun reaching my goals without having to be in total control.
Collarbone: When I am ready, I will consider taking the steps to build my practice with confidence.
Under Arm: I can feel myself getting excited about the possibilities of releasing the inner critic with a supportive message.
Head: I feel inspired with the thought of moving forward with confidence and feeling empowered as I begin to make steady progress toward my goals.

Take a deep breath. Now that you are aware of your inner critic you can make the choice for positive change. The choice for positive change is empowering. Listen to your intuition to guide you through this process. As you make the transformation and replace the negative self talk with a positive supportive voice, you will be raising your vibration. This heightened awareness and energy will attract more abundance into your life.

GC COMMENT: A thank you to Loren for her detailed approach to the inner critic. Another way to approach this, and my favorite, is to dig up the origin of the individual voices in the committee. These can be reduced to specific events and then EFT can be efficiently applied to the foundation of the problem.

Making positive change will help you to successfully reach your goals. Enjoy the opportunity you have created for yourself to make long, lasting positive change.

Loren Fogelman, M.Ed


Explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT™, by reading my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™. More efficient. More powerful.