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Articles & Ideas


Not finding the right words for EFT is a block that can be overcome

Important Note: This article was written prior to 2010 and is now outdated. Please use my newest advancement, Optimal EFT. It is more efficient, more powerful and clearly explained in my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™.  Best wishes, Gary

Hi Everyone,

Cacina Spaeth from Germany lends a helping hand for those having difficulty coming up with the "right words" to inject into the EFT process.

Hugs, Gary

By Cacina Spaeth, EFT-ADV

Dear Gary,

I just began watching your new Mastering EFT DVDs.  At one point you discuss the fact that EFT beginners often have problems finding the right words.  Since my own EFT clients and students kept coming up with this issue I looked closer into what's going on here.  The following procedure has already helped some of my clients to turn what at first seemed to be a hurdle into solving their first core issue with EFT. I hope the following will also help your readers. This is how:

Step 1:

If you have problems finding the right words I recommend that you start tapping on what is actually present and not what you THINK you want to tap on.  And what is present is that you can’t find the right words right now.  So start there, and the wording for this can be as simple as:

Even though I don't find the right words for tapping…

Even though I don't know what to say…

Even though I feel it's ridiculous that I don't even know what to say…

Followed with reminder phrases like:

I don't know what to say

How come I don't know what to say?

I have no words

I'm speechless

What if it could be easy?

What if I allowed myself to ramble?

After having tapped on this for 1 or 2 rounds, you may feel less blocked and be able to start working on your original issue.  Or, not finding the "right words" may be the issue you should consider working on today.

Step 2:

What if one of your core issues is already present in your inability to find the right words?  Could it be that this is why your subconscious is keeping you stuck right here, not allowing you to move forward?  Maybe it's a favour in disguise and you're just about to find out.  Check with yourself: What is the deeper feeling, the specific feeling, the self talk in not finding the right words?

1. I don't know the right words = I simply don't know how to do that, I feel uncertain.
The underlying issue can be insecurity, or a lack of self-confidence.  Why would you feel that way? Why would you lack self-confidence?  Which specific event(s) robbed you of your self confidence, made you insecure?

2. I don't know the right words = I honestly can't.  I feel totally overcharged, ill equipped, incapable of coming up with what is needed
What time in your life, what specific event does feeling ill equipped, feeling overcharged, feeling swamped remind you of?  When did you experience that you really didn't have what it took to deal with what you were presented, but no one asked you and you had to get through it anyhow?  If there ever was a time (event) in your life where your system froze up in overcharge, what was it?

3. I don't know the right words = what if I do it wrong?
Are you afraid of making mistakes, of being punished, of being wrong?  What happened the last time (or in your childhood) when you made a mistake?  What or who comes to mind?  Why do you need to protect yourself from doing it wrong?  What fearful thing could otherwise happen (again)?

4. I don't know the right words = because IF I do it at all, I’ve got to do it right!  I can't afford mistakes.
Do you need to be perfect?  Or else, what?  Who (what event) taught you that?  Do you need a guarantee to succeed before you can start things in life?  Where did you learn that you had better be perfect?  What happened when you were less than perfect?  What would you lose or risk losing if you couldn't be perfect?

5. I don't know the right words = I don't want to try, or I'll end up making a fool of myself again.
When did you end up making a fool of yourself?  What event does feeling humiliated remind you of? Who enjoyed seeing you cringe?  What happened?  Why can't you afford simply trying something out? What is the risk in that?

6. I don't know the right words = I can't afford any more mistakes.  I have screwed up too much already.
Who keeps a "mistake record" on you?  What did you do wrong?  If you could undo one thing you did, what would it be?  What do you feel guilty about or guilty of?  What have you done wrong that you haven't forgiven yourself for?  What do you keep punishing yourself for?  What makes you think that you lost the right to be forgiven?

7. I don't know the right words = I want YOU to tell me what I'm supposed to do.  I'm long since outta here.
When did you throw in the towel?  When did you experience that you don't count? (your words, your feelings)  When did you stop showing up in life?  If you could be sad about something, what would it be?  If you could be angry about something, what would it be? If you could be hurt about something, what would it be?

8. I don't know the right words = I don't really want to change.  I'm only here to play the game of personal development, but I don't really mean it.
Why don't you simply stand for the fact that you don't want to change?  What do you gain by pretending?  Is this really what you want?  Why is it important that everything stays just the way it is?  What if this really could be a chance for you?  What if you'd love the outcome?  Why is it important that EFT (or other techniques) don't work for you?  What would you lose (risk losing) if it worked?  What could happen?  What would you have to face if EFT worked?  Which consequences do you fear?

These are just a few translations of what could be going on underneath.  One of my clients who wanted to overcome her fear of public speaking knew immediately why she didn't find the right words, after having read this sheet.  It lead us straight into a core issue that was connected to her fear of public speaking.

Another lady shared with me that she had been THINKING for about one hour every day, how to put in words what she wanted to tap on without ever actually tapping one single round.  She found her way into tapping by realizing that the real issue at hand was not the words, but her fear of doing it wrong.  Once this issue was resolved, she did find her own words to tap.

Other clients simply started tapping down the entire list, and in so doing discovered various core issues related to not finding the right words.  Whatever works, whatever gets you going.

I hope this helps to discover the healing in the hurdle.

Cacina Spaeth, Munich


Explore our newest advancement, Optimal EFT™, by reading my free e-book, The Unseen Therapist™. More efficient. More powerful.